Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 39

Thread: It's so hard, what keeps you going

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by DaleB View Post
    This might sound absurd, or worse, but when my back is against the wall, emotionally, and I've run my play book and gotten no where, here's what I try to remember to do, on account of it helping a lot, in the past.

    I force myself to laugh. Totally fake, almost angry laughter at first. But you know what? After quite a short while it becomes so ridiculous feeling it turns into genuine laughter. If I'm lucky enough to keep it going, it evolves into raucous chuckling and then into crying.

    Then, I feel much better.

    I don't know.

    I think the ultimate problem with being at the end of your rope is the lack of options. You don't have the ability to get away from the single path of misery you are on. Temporary distractions are just that. You have to find a more permanent purposeful mission that will shift your focus away from the death spiral to hope which leads to more can do type of thinking. Can do thinking attracts people which hopefully creates opportunities to be more purposeful.

    I truly believe that isolation is the number one problem for SCIs. The physical stuff is a given that we don't have much control over but being cut off from pariticpating in life is just the worst. I guess sometimes we don't always have control over being cut off either but I guess that's where the fight is.
    Last edited by Patton57; 04-13-2013 at 04:46 PM.

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,813
    Nothing wrong with all said here. Just a guess, but you may be taking too big of a bite to accomplish. 1 day, probably too big. Break the day don into smaller pieces. And focus on a piece or pieces. If still no success, my guess is, you still have the pieces too big. Lay down on your bed. Close your eyes. See if you can think your way through 1 of those pieces and visually process in your mind. Do NOT worry about physical motion. If succeed, try to see in same position on bed, you can neurologically make that happen, still with eyes closed. This all takes time and repetition. Probably even get pissed off at yourself. Keep working like this and maybe pieces come back together.

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Patton57 View Post
    I think the ultimate problem with being at the end of your rope is the lack of options. You don't have the ability to get away from the single path of misery you are on. Temporary distractions are just that. You have to find a more permanent purposeful mission that will shift your focus away from the death spiral to hope which leads to more can do type of thinking. Can do thinking attracts people which hopefully creates opportunities to be more purposeful.

    I truly believe that isolation is the number one problem for SCIs. The physical stuff is a given that we don't have much control over but being cut off from pariticpating in life is just the worst. I guess sometimes we don't always have control over being cut off either but I guess that's where the fight is.
    Wow I couldn't agree more.

  4. #14
    Senior Member wtf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    silver state
    Posts
    3,491
    What keeps me going is knowing I'm here one time (I know it sounds cheesy and cliche) so I want to make the most of it. I also don't want people to remember me as a gimp who did nothing with her life. I am thankful I have a pretty stellar life with good things happening and good people around me. I want to live a long time.
    A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo! - borrowed from Honey boo boo child

  5. #15
    I don't know what keeps me going with my positive outlook, but I do have one. I'm definitely weaker than I was a year ago and there is no sign that the medicine I am on is going to be produced ever again. I have 3-6 months supply depending if I take full or half doses. But for some reason I see a light in the tunnel. Maybe because I drive. When I drive I feel absolutely normal, other drivers treat me as such too. The same thing happens on my E-trike. Although my legs don't move, people do not realize I can't pedal and I feel normal, they treat me as such, or it's just in my mind. Whatever it feels good.
    I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

  6. #16
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    east o the southern warren
    Posts
    8,530
    sometimes it's care cure, sometimes pets, sometimes my love for my family, sometimes, your lovely pictures, My arts, the sun, the seasons, hope for a cure, the love of and for my friends. the beauty of the earth, and mostly with all the deaths lately, Knowing that when it is time to go. it is time to go. life is still precious, but it will end. until it does, and its over, I will learn as much as I can about the world, the heavens, and my spirit.

    My life will end. when it does, I will know that I have loved with all my heart.

    I have tried to forgive, though I still have work there. I have been given gifts. I have tried to relearn them, and use them. I am not finished yet. I have few regrets about my own choices, I knew the risks when I first saw light, and cried out in hunger. from my first moment on the outside, It was predicted by science that I would not see. I would not speak, and I would not know. I would not stand, or run, I did all of those things.

    I won first in showmanship in my first class A show against twenty five expensive arabian horses and their wealthy handlers, with my 200,00 slaughterhouse throwaway, and second level reserve grand champion cd obedience with a thirteen year old dog after four months of training. I lived through three house fires, two were deadly and survived drowning, choking on a chess pawn my cousin shoved in my mouth, Incredible child abuse, being hit by a car, abducted, I learned to play guitar after the age of 25. against all odds I got to have my most wanted thing for a short while.

    some never get to know their deepest desire. Had I ended my life the one time I tried, I would have miss out on all of the best things that Iv had.

    It is not my time. when it is my time, I know I will go where I have been.

    I have been aware that my time can come at any moment. I am not well, and many who lived with my same life have gone in the last year, so I know my days are like water in cupped hands. I will be missed, because I loved you, and when you love and are loved, you are beautiful. I was aware of your suffering. aware of my own. And each day I lived except one day, when I learned of my mistake, for I had not yet met you. the whole reason I set out was to know you, to love you back, and I almost missed it by trying to end my life because I thought it was too hard.

    how silly of me. how sweet the kiss of life. I will kiss you back until I can no longer. I am here. until I am not. I spent my life tenderly, with gratefulness and generosity. I spent it, forests of planted dreams, I spent it on bricks to bridge my weaknesses, I spent it and earned and spent and earned and planted, and wanted, painted my heart in the hearts of my children. I painted what I saw and gifted that too. I spent my life. when even my suffering were just a moment of thirst, a mirage, a cage, and as I held the hand of my mother as she floated away, I knew, as I woke and found my beloved had not, I cried and learned I still had some to give, to take and to spend some more.

    I can promise you, that I did not deprive you of my true oath to stay and let you lean there where our spirits cannot cry or know wonder if there was something missed or squandered, or socketed away in some greedy den of secret useless safery where the unspent turns to vapor and we knew. we drank it. every drop.

  7. #17
    That was nice, Jody.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Sarafino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SW Colorado---chair user from nerve disorder
    Posts
    299
    That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read Jody.

  9. #19
    Jody in tears how beautiful................just wow! A Slaughterhouse Throwaway

  10. #20
    Senior Member forestranger52's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    From a small cabin in the big woods of The Allegheny National Forest, PA
    Posts
    1,643
    Blood presure droped and I passed out with a mouthfull of food. Could have been the end right there. Scared the shit out of me.
    C 5/6 Comp.
    No Tri's or hand function.

    Far better it is to try mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure. Than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much or suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows neither victory or defeat.

    Teddy Roosevelt

Similar Threads

  1. So hard?
    By LaMemChose in forum Life
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-04-2011, 12:02 PM
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-07-2007, 01:25 AM
  3. Work Hard, Eat Hard
    By Max in forum Food
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-14-2004, 01:52 PM
  4. Sometimes it's hard to keep going
    By shelley in forum Caregiving
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 08-06-2004, 07:34 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •