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Thread: Shit people say to the disabled

  1. #231
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patton57 View Post
    He is worth the investment! Whether it is 1 day or 10 years I'd do what I could to give him the best life possible.
    Please let me quote you. My Dad has told me that he wants "to have fun" and I think that he should invest in fun!

    When my Dad was initially injured, my sibling told me that if he were my Dad, he'd "rather be dead" and he called "all" of his friends and they said "they'd rather be dead." I asked him if "don't you want to be able to say something to your daughter?" (at the time, my Dad couldn't speak and was communicating by blinking). My sibling's reply was that he would just tell his daughter that he loved her and to "remember me for what I was and not what I am."

    I gotta figure out how to calm down -- because I get so angry that I say inappropriate things.
    Last edited by Joey_SF; 05-24-2013 at 07:37 AM.

  2. #232
    Hope you're enjoying your retirement.

  3. #233
    Sometimes it's not what people "say", but what they "do":
    Years ago at a weekend in the country with friends and acquaintences, a neighbor showed up on horseback to visit. Knowing I love horses a friend agreed to get me lifted up to sit on the saddle for several minutes - a first for me and I loved it.
    While still on the horse's back, one of the group ran into the house.
    Asking someone later what happened and why she left so quickly, I was told she burst out crying and didn't want me to see her.

    Ok, she couldn't take it that I would never be a "horsewoman", but it was perhaps the first time I started paying attention to this type of reaction. I have noticed it many times since - 'the reaction without words', and now it's a bit comical to me. Like when you are waiting for an elevator door to open and when it opens and people inside see you in your wheelchair, their startled reaction is like quail being flushed from the brush.

  4. #234
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    Triumph's elevator comment reminds me of another.

    Why is it almost every time someone opens the door in to or out of the elevator, sees you in your chair, and then shouts "Oops, sorry!"? WTF does that mean? It's even better when they follow it up with a "don't run me over".
    Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

  5. #235
    Senior Member McDuff's Avatar
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    Or when you are the only on the elevator, it stops at an in between floor, doors open and the people who "were" going to get on, just stare at you and are completely flustered. I have to talk them in to getting on, saying "it's ok, plenty of room". I've had some say "no, I'll get the next one". WTF?
    "a T10, who'd Rather be ridin'; than rollin'"

  6. #236
    Quote Originally Posted by McDuff View Post
    Or when you are the only on the elevator, it stops at an in between floor, doors open and the people who "were" going to get on, just stare at you and are completely flustered. I have to talk them in to getting on, saying "it's ok, plenty of room". I've had some say "no, I'll get the next one". WTF?
    Don't you know McDuff that they may catch (as in contagious) whatever it was that put you in the chair?!?!

    All the best,
    GJ

  7. #237
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    How about when a lot of you get in the elevator and you have to go in first (of course because they need to watch over you), and then you get pushed into the corner of the elevator facing your back to everyone.

    F--- it's no wonder we feel the way we do about people.
    Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

  8. #238

    Try this one

    "You should be grateful. Some people have it worse than you."

  9. #239
    Me...getting into my car.

    80-something-year-old couple: "Congratulations, young man"..."You got a lot of spunk!"

    Me... OH YEAH!

  10. #240
    Quote Originally Posted by Crappler View Post
    How about when a lot of you get in the elevator and you have to go in first (of course because they need to watch over you), and then you get pushed into the corner of the elevator facing your back to everyone.

    F--- it's no wonder we feel the way we do about people.
    It's no wonder you (anyone) feel the way you do about people when looking through shit coated glasses.

    People letting you get in the elevator first is just simple human courtesy.

    No one is watching over you - unless YOU feel you need watching over and decide that's what others are doing.

    No one is pushing you into the corner with your back to everyone - unless YOU choose to go into the corner and not turn yourself around. Since you're going in first, you have plenty of room to turn your chair around.

    Sometimes, I think ppl with disabilities (generally, folks here) look for ways to villainize the abled-bodied, those "AB" folks, stigmatizing them as some "Other", always feeling persecuted or that Others are out to get them.

    If abled bodied folks rush to get in the elevators first, not allowing wc ppl to get in first, then the wheelers will cry (have cried) foul how those AB's could easily take the stairs, or better yet, take the escalators, instead of selfishly taking space in elevators and taking up the space that ppl using wheelchairs have no other choice but taking.

    Then, it's...

    How dare those AB's not let you get on first!

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