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Thread: Shit people say to the disabled

  1. #251
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Lin View Post
    At least it wasn't this: http://notalwaysright.com/the-biggest-abuser/28744

    I find it interesting how the comments I get have changed with going from forearm crutches to a chair. In the chair the ones I get the most are the versions of compliments on the ability to do the simplest thing, like wheel through a doorway or down a hallway. "Wow you get around really well in that don't you!"

    In the forearm crutches, what I got most often were the versions of "whats wrong with you?"/"What happened?" followed by "but you're so young!" because someone my age can't possibly be disabled, I must be healing from some accidental injury.

    The strangest thing yet was when a guy in front of me turned around and said "there are no cripples in heaven. Did you know that? No cripples in heaven." and then turned back around.
    I think that's the winner.

  2. #252
    Does that mean we don't go to heaven?

  3. #253
    Yep, hope your like warm places.
    Last edited by lonecoaster; 05-24-2013 at 11:01 PM. Reason: Half asleep

  4. #254

  5. #255
    Senior Member ~Lin's Avatar
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    Hahaha. I think he wasn't all there in the head himself honestly, and I think his intention was to say I'd be able bodied in heaven. But it was just so bizarre that my roommate and I couldn't help but laugh tons over it afterward.
    Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

    I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

  6. #256
    Quote Originally Posted by Tjcpara View Post
    ... Does he talk?
    Did you prove to them using some choice words?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Lin View Post
    At least it wasn't this: http://notalwaysright.com/the-biggest-abuser/28744

    I find it interesting how the comments I get have changed with going from forearm crutches to a chair. In the chair the ones I get the most are the versions of compliments on the ability to do the simplest thing, like wheel through a doorway or down a hallway. "Wow you get around really well in that don't you!"

    In the forearm crutches, what I got most often were the versions of "whats wrong with you?"/"What happened?" followed by "but you're so young!" because someone my age can't possibly be disabled, I must be healing from some accidental injury.
    Wow! Crazy ass story in that link, the Police should have definitely been called on that out of control customer.

    I've also gotten the you get around in that really well comment a few times and it always seems to happen when I'm doing something as unimpressive as pushing myself in a straight line. I guess some people are easily impressed.lol

    When I go shopping and I can't reach something, and I don't want to bother anyone for help, I'll look for something in the store that I can use to reach, or knock whatever I need down for me to catch. Occasionally if someone notices me doing that they'll speak up and say "Wow, that was very good" or "I would have got that for you" I politely tell them that if I needed help, I would have asked. Occasionally I'll tell them that someone is not always going to be around when I need help, so I have no problem figuring how to help myself. Some people get it, others just look at me with a blank stare.

  7. #257
    Senior Member Belle's Avatar
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    I have the opposite...issue...with my husband. Sometimes, the stuff he says to able bodied people......his favorite is to pretend to be mentally disabled (he calls it "the retard act"). I don't let him do that when I am present...it's mortifying...however he thinks it's hilarious and so do some of his buddies. Example...Saturday night he was out with a friend and did "the act" to get past the bouncer at the bar. They let him in for free (which he wasn't expecting). I understand that the story made the rounds of the bar, but the guys wouldn't let him go pay and the bar didn't insist.

    Another time he freaked out a teenage girl with "the act" at a football game when he had gone to see his son play the halftime show in the band. (This was facilitated by some inter-teen social dynamics that he should have, ahem, been too mature to participate in). Apparently when he suddenly started acting normal, she really freaked out.

    He's gone past store greeters like that too if there's someone he's with who will push the chair.

    Once a seven year old girl of our acquaintance was asking him why he was in the chair. He said something along the lines of "My legs don't work; you could stick a fork in them and I wouldn't feel it." So she ran off and got a fork so she could check...at first he was pretty taken aback but we laugh about it now. It was an innocent thing.

    Generally we are both all for just letting the stuff people say all go with a sense of humor. I know for a fact that I have personally said insensitive things to people that I wish I could take back now...so it goes around and comes around I guess.
    Last edited by Belle; 05-28-2013 at 04:22 PM. Reason: clarity
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  8. #258
    Senior Member NikkiMaya's Avatar
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    I was sitting in the entryway to a CVS in Washington DC about four years ago, waiting for my friends to check out.

    This guy walked by, saw me, did a double take, and then spun around and ran up to me yelling: "You're confined to a wheelchair!" with a huge grin on his face.

    Thanks...like I didn't already know about the chair.

    I was so startled by the bizarre interaction that I just sat there staring at him until he pulled his face back and walked away. Interesting thought process going on there.
    In our world constituted of differences of all kinds, it is not the disabled, but society at large that needs special education...to become a genuine society for all. -Frederic Major, Former UNESCO Director General

  9. #259
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    1) At the ICU after the first operation just after his injury, my Dad was depressed and didn't want to live. He changed his mind and wanted to go to rehab -- however, instead of giving him the trach and peg, the doctors gave him a trach but "delayed" giving him a feeding peg.

    The head doc wanted my Dad to change his mind and told my Dad his situation would not change and then, told him (they wouldn't allow me to be with him even though he requested it and they brought in external lip readers (i.e., not staff members who are employed by the hospital) -- the nurse conveyed this to me and my Dad affirmed) :

    "Do you want to be like this for the rest of your life?... if you want to be like this for the rest of your life, choose the peg."


    2) Palliative Care Doctor (trying to convince my Dad to choose comfort care):

    "Have you enjoyed this journey? Do you like being the way you are?"
    Last edited by Joey_SF; 06-10-2013 at 09:20 PM.

  10. #260
    Senior Member SuprSi's Avatar
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    That's horrific, I can't believe they'd say that to a newly SCI person. And on the other side of it there's people that really don't want to be alive anymore and they're not allowed to die with dignity.
    T11 Asia A after near-fatal bike crash.. Just happy to still be here

    No, I didn't loose my mind... It got scared and ran away!!

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