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Thread: So, I got kicked out of a step parenting forum.

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  1. #1

    So, I got kicked out of a step parenting forum.

    You know, I signed up to this step family forum and for some reason I just knew it wasnt gonna go well. Maybe it was the weird registering process that got me worried. Really it was easy, make a password and give 'em an email, but i reckon I waited a good 3 to 4 days to receive an email with a registration sticky etc.

    I thought, could they possibly be hacking inot my computer to see my usage habits and then they might just reject me?. I mean you can register yourself in a thousand forums and receieve a confirmation email within, sometimes, seconds.

    I was having reservations. Then i did indeed get a confirmation email 4 days later and i was in.

    I left it for a good couple of days, actually thinking I might just delete the account and forget it, but i decided to post the story of my wife's custody battle and our ongoing agonizing over her ex husbands continual crappy parenting and poor visitation record. I won't go into it here, suffice to say the man in an A Grade Cretin and all round Total Cunt.

    Anyway, I poured my heart out. It's been a good 3 years since we've really had any trouble from him, he now accepts that even though I'm in a wheelchair I'm frightening enough to not to trifled with. I've had my anger issues and they've prevented me from writting anything sensible about the subject. But I was ready and gave a good, not too revealing, account of the whole thing. I did not reveal anything to the forum about my Beckar's MD. I felt if people where nice I'd reveal that fact later....no need to now

    Mostly people were great about it and one guy actually told me he was in awe of how we dealt with it. And nearly everyone said that the kids were lucky to have me as such a good step dad. i was really happy and felt a great weight had been lifted and learnt that a lot of people are in the same boat as us.

    I had ONE barb, or sting in the tail at the end of my posting though. I made the stipulation that if i copped abuse for it "those who dont like it can go fuck themselves". Now, if you've been through any kind of divorce or your significant other has you know how people can get, they can get angry and project their own issues onto yours. In step families, stuff like that is VERY common. I had my wife look over my posting and she was so happy I'd gotten things down so acurately she almost cried.

    I had a number of other members, all women, absolutley rip on me for adding the little barb..."how dare you make a warning like that, this is a safe site" etc. etc.

    I shot back with humour and said that the very subject of the thread is within the "Venting Forum" a forum where lots of foul language is used to just let people have a real discussion about what pisses them off about their situations.

    Still, I got hammered, I of course made it worse suggesting I really didnt need any advice and I suggested one member just take a step back and have a look at whom was really copping all the abuse, me.

    I then got an email from admin asking if id like the replies stopped and the other more experienced members should just calm down and let newies express themselves how they see fit.

    Then bang two more messages from members saying i was out of order etc. I was pissed by then and dropped the hammer on one persistant haranger by suggesting she was full of shit and to just leave me alone. I then copped a huge flaming from this other woman who must have been a part of the admin that disagreed with the main admin, she must have been part of admin because i found myself booted for good.

    Fuck them I say, I actually think my posting was so succinct and threw such a hard light onto the actual day to day lives of step families they felt threatened by it and me. doubly so because, for once, it was a man who pouring his heart out in such an honest way.

    You know, this site is was an Australia only site I truely believe that if it had have been a US site there would be no way i'd cop that level of abuse at exersizing my right to free speech.

    care cure is my sanctuary, people say all sorts in here and everyone supports one another. the situations most of us have to deal with daily would have the jerks I wrote about above in a jibbering mess.
    "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

  2. #2
    That "pile on the dog" mentality happens everywhere on forums to some degree or another, alas even here. Sorry you got the boot off that forum, but you maybe better off out of it.

    All the best,
    GJ

  3. #3
    Thanks GJ, it's how context is simply ignored in favour of smug hyper in-sensitivity to anyone who doesn't fit. You could do a degree on pack mentality theory in some of these forums.

    I am indeed glad to be shot of it.
    "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

  4. #4
    It sounds to me like you got exactly what you deserved. What gives you the right to openly express your opinion in a forum comprised mainly of uptight single moms anyway.


    Personally I posted the same thing on my Facebook wall.

  5. #5
    lol...yeah im a dickhead mike!

    As an example of the fucked up priorities these people have they seem more interested in stupid shit like their ex accidentally deleting a program from their fucking tivo, actually while the ex took it upon themselves to mind the kids when the custodial went out to the pub.

    It's messed up I read so many examples of ex's that seemed to be actually trying to make an effort being shot down for the most trivial matters.

    Just fucked if you ask me....lol...i try to stay positive.
    "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

  6. #6
    Senior Member zagam's Avatar
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    Forum web sites

    They should have a written policy that your use can be tested against.

    Before PCs email was always push. I would expect HTTPD form processor to run sendmail command or talk SMTP. As soon as mail is received it is then forwarded. This is how SMTP has worked since the 80s. If you have a persistent IMAP connection then you see email within seconds of form submission. POP3 and storing email on another box only came about with PeeCees which could not be permanently connected to the Internet.

    Mixing SMTP with HTTP is good security feature. Better and more accessible than password theatre. This confirms the email used in the web site is real. However, determining if user is a real user requires a CAPTCHA image or speech file for blinkies.
    Last edited by zagam; 01-15-2013 at 01:18 AM. Reason: Fix after quick save

  7. #7
    heya zag, you seem a pretty techy dude, i got a little lost there, but if it was about how i suspected they might have been trolling for info on me, it was only a weird (probably paranoid) idea in my head.

    it just seemed weird that you can sign up to ANY kind of forum and pretty much get a confirmation email within minutes, this step parenting forum took a good 4 days to allow me in. it struck me as weird is all.

    If they found anything on me they'd find me to be as boring as shit.
    "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

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