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Thread: Advice + looking for caregiver for C2-C3 quad in Northwest Indiana (Chicago area)

  1. #11
    When we employed PCAs, we explicitedly included in their contract that they were going to be responsible for doing cooking and food preparation for BOTH my parents, not just my mother, although they provided personal care only for her. This was explained in the interviews. I certainly do not think that if this was not explained at the beginning of employment that it should be an expectation of the employee without additional renegotiation of the contract and/or the salary. Technically, when my father was alive he was my mother's primary caregiver, but as he got older we needed to have them help him with things like this as well...but we went into the hiring process with that as an up-front aspect of the job. I would say that started when he was about 80 (he was 86 when he died).

    (KLD)

  2. #12
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    our privately underpaid caregiver is always happy to, when he has the time, make me a cup of tea. I don't explicitly ask him, but if he is in the kitchen, preparing food for my husband, he will ask if I need/want anything, and often even w/o asking will bring me water, a snack, etc. After all, he is only here a couple hours, I bear the 24/7 responsibility (yes, even when I'm at work, the responsibility to have someone here is on me). He feels if he can help me, then he is also helping my husband (his patient).
    Rebecca
    Wife and Caregiver, husband has Secondary Progressive MS, wheelchair bound, unable to work, MS still progressing.
    Mother of 2 active boys!

  3. #13
    "I really wish people with no caregiving exposure or experience would stfu in this forum. Caregivers are paid to do WHAT A CLIENT CANNOT. Do you think this man wouldn't make his wife a freaking cup of tea?? Seriously, maybe after you take care of someone 24/7 you'll have something useful to contribute, but until then, you are simply being an ignorant troll."

    A wee bit harsh I'd say. "Caregivers are paid to do WHAT A CLIENT CANNOT" Does this mean changing the oil in the car, roofing, and finishing that novel I started but hit a block around the time if my injury? If so -- bring on the dancing girls!

  4. #14
    You must have missed the "within reason" part of my second post. If you have caregivers, you understand what a delicate balancing act this can be. But hey, if you want to hire someone who balks at pouring a little extra water into a kettle, knock yourself out.

    As for harsh, the poster I was responding to has a history of making ignorant comments towards caregivers, particularly those taking care of people with high injuries, and I call bs.

  5. #15
    Ok, so no dancing girls. Bah!

  6. #16
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smashms View Post
    Scraper I only post to things I know about. And the caregiver is there to take care of medical issues not get tea for his wife. They are there for the patient and to get stuff fo the patient not family members. In New York State it is not allowed. Not sure about any other state. They are there for the disabled person only. Not wife or other family members. And I was a caregiver before my injury and we were not allowed to do things for family. I worked in an assistive living facility.
    You are talking about when an agency is paid by the state to care for a disabled person. In the case of a PRIVATE person paying an EMPLOYEE, then the EMPLOYEE should do whatever the EMPLOYER says s/he should do. Period. We private pay our caregiver and he does what we ask him to do, whether that's something for me or for Chad. For example, he does all the dishes for the household every day that he works (weekdays). Obviously, 50% + of the dishes are generated by me and my son, but we pay him to work for US and that is one of his required duties.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  7. #17
    "worked in an assistive living facility.."

    This is in a home not a facility. I've hired caregivers for over 26 years for in home care and if one refused to do as I asked they would be dismissed. Having one give a cup of tea to a spouse is not out of line. My partner is my primary caregiver, but does not preclude him from being treated as a spouse. He is not on 24/7. If I want to treat him to a cup of tea my aide will pour it, if I want to talk to him my aide will find him. This simply is an employer-employee relationship.

  8. #18
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    What Ben said.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Ben Rolfe View Post
    "worked in an assistive living facility.."

    This is in a home not a facility. I've hired caregivers for over 26 years for in home care and if one refused to do as I asked they would be dismissed. Having one give a cup of tea to a spouse is not out of line. My partner is my primary caregiver, but does not preclude him from being treated as a spouse. He is not on 24/7. If I want to treat him to a cup of tea my aide will pour it, if I want to talk to him my aide will find him. This simply is an employer-employee relationship.
    Exactly.
    Some people feel the need to give advice/opinion on every thread even if they have no experience in the situation.
    The OP was venting some frustration-let her.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by LindaT View Post
    Exactly.
    Some people feel the need to give advice/opinion on every thread even if they have no experience in the situation.
    The OP was venting some frustration-let her.
    It is especially helpful when the poster seeking advice has been injured or dealt with injury for longer than the person giving the advice has been alive much less injured.

    CC is a haven for trolls in the last year or so but one can only hope they will eventually return to the bridge from whence they crawled out from under.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

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