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Thread: So .. how was your Xmas holiday?

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by LindaT View Post
    X Eve was miserable and sad. Dave was sick and had to go to bed early, no aide and just felt empty.

    Xmas Day was happy with a fun white elephant exchange, good food and my family did most of the work. My hermit brother came into town and was good to see him.
    He collects odd junk and this is what he brought for the bird. It was pretty funny.

    Bracing myself for 2 days of in-laws.
    Sorry Dave was sick, I hope the in-laws don't do that to you.

  2. #12
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I love that bird! Hope it goes smoothly with the out-laws!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #13
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I have to laugh ... my brother stood at the patio door outside and flushed as he said, "Hugs, hugs, kiss, kiss." I went forward as if to say, oh c'mon let's hug ... but he backed away. Texted me 'hug, kiss' afterwards. lol

    I grew up without touch ... no hugs ... no I love you's. Was worse after the chair. I swore I would change this ... my sister and I did. My niece, nephew and his g/f all are affectionate.

    In fact, on the fifth day in hospital when I was 12, I turned to my mom and yelled at her to go away as she didn't love me anyway. "You never say it! You never said it! Get out and don't come back! Leave me here!" She did leave ... probably because others heard me (even at the nurse's station because I remember them being extra attentive to me that evening). I know some deep seated anger grew that afternoon and has stuck with me. I remember feeling like such a total failure because of Transverse Myelitis ... that I just went down and became paralyzed like I was some sort of rotten or bad child sent to curse them. Horrible.

    Years later I had heard she called a friend's mother and bawled for three hours. She still never said it though. My dad's Christmas cards for years were signed, "Ken and Vi." He switched to 'dad' in the last few years, lol! No Dear Jenn, Dear Daughter or any note - just signed their names. Too funny.

    I don't ever remember getting a hug from dad since age 4 and that was only because I was lost in a corn field for three hours and he found me. Never from mom since I was that young .. I do have memories of having to kiss everyone goodnight. Never ever from each brother - ever.
    Last edited by lynnifer; 12-26-2012 at 11:11 PM.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  4. #14
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
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    Love the parrot thing too! Bet that white elephant is a treasure too.
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

  5. #15
    Super Moderator Sue Pendleton's Avatar
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    Oh hell, Jenn, tackle him next time. You never know when the last time you will see them. Regrets suck. If he's trying then you should go more than halfway. The third time it will seem normal.
    Forgive yourself for a 13 year olds scared temper tantrum. If it means a few volunteer hours at a nursing home or baking, since your inner chef has come out, bar cookies for a local senior center for the next holiday. You never know how your folks were raised and that's what most know when they have children. My Mom had serious problems of her own by the time I was about 14. When she died last year just a few days after we got home from putting her in the nicest hospice we could with her dual diagnosis I had no regrets. I may not have liked her much by the end of my teen years, nothing either of us had a ton of control over, but I loved her. The last words she heard from me as I left her room was "I love you". Forgive the past and aim forward.
    Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."

    Disclaimer: Answers, suggestions, and/or comments do not constitute medical advice expressed or implied and are based solely on my experiences as a SCI patient. Please consult your attending physician for medical advise and treatment. In the event of a medical emergency please call 911.

  6. #16
    Hi
    First of all I havent written in a bit but Hello everyone
    I had a very quiet mellow holiday kinda too quiet but it is ok as everythhing has it's purpose.
    IMHOP for me it was too quiet .
    I sincerely hope you all had a decent x mas / holiday
    GL

  7. #17
    Sue is right Jen. My mother was'nt the greatest at showing love either, or my father. But I did things differently with my own kids, and then started treating my parents differently too. It was really awkward, at first, but as time went on, a kiss good bye and an I love you as I was leaving became normal.

    I believe it was the way they were raised that caused the coldness. I wish things could have been different when we were kids, but I think they did the best they could do. And maybe your mom did too.

  8. #18
    Daughter, small son and Indian neighbor over for christmas eve dinner, pork ribs, lamb ribs with potatos, sauerkraut, swedish turnip pure and cloudberry cream for dessert. Krumkake and coffee when we opened presents. We had a nice time.
    I was not invited any place for the Christmas breakfast, but got the visit in the evening and he is still here and we eat and drink and enjoy and have plans to do that untill Christmas and New Year are finished.




















    n
    TH 12, 43 years post

  9. #19
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Hah ... dresser is mine yay!

    Dad said John has to ask my sister first about the table set (it belonged to our mother's family and he hated our mother).

    He won't ask. I said I would. He said no it's his until a will says it isn't.

    I just said I don't want to be like 'other families' and fight over material shit.

    This is why I like being on my own, lol.

    Oops .. maybe not. He's pissed that I told our other brother.

    WHY OH WHY DO PEOPLE USE LEVERAGE AGAINST EACH OTHER? Material shit means nothing. Kumbaya Jenn kum-effing-baya! Breathe! 10-9-8 ...
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  10. #20
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
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    Christmas day was wonderful. Went to girlfriend's brother's house where the whole family came in from different directions. Everybody was very nice and the house was so festive with lots of red and, holiday dishes set on the table. The nephews were there and even one 4 year old little one who looks like he's going to be very tall.

    I had some wheelchair worries but everything worked out okay. The food was great with prime rib that was delicious, the best I've had. There was smoked turkey, vegetables, including brussel sprouts that were so tasty they were fought over. It was a wonderful night.

    The drive over was scary as heck with rain coming down so heavy we couldn't see the lane lines on the road or hardly the road itself. We got a little lost after getting off the freeway but the GPS I bought just for the trip got us the rest of the way though, funnily we stopped in front of the wrong house. I was confused because a group email had been sent out to leave the driveway open for us so I could get in but it was packed with minivans. Because it wasn't her brother's house. Okay, we moved down a little and found it.

    I did have one odd moment I hadn't figured on - leaving shoes at the door. Everyone was doing it and I could see the pile but what was I supposed to do? Taking my shoes off wouldn't have made a difference and my tires were going to bring in the outside dirt anyway. Was more an issue in my head, nobody said anything. Very nice Christmas. Oh there was one tradition in her family that was new to me and I have to admit, I think it might be the way to go - they exchange presents but don't open them in front of each other. On the drive home I asked about that and she explained it was to prevent anyone from feeling too obligated it they received an especially generous gift. I thought it also keeps you from have to pretend you like something you really really don't.

    A real good Christmas :-)

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