Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 48

Thread: so i should be in a "facility"

  1. #11
    Senior Member brucec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Virginia Beach, Va
    Posts
    5,658
    my previous point was just to listen first, maybe it's something they are not aware of, or something you're not aware of.
    and if it turns out to where they are just being a ass, tell them so
    bruce
    We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
    Ronald Reagan

  2. #12
    Senior Member wtf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    silver state
    Posts
    3,491
    Quote Originally Posted by willingtocope View Post

    My point is...maybe this person actually realizes that you've deterioated to the point that you could use some help...she just stated it badly.
    That's how I see it too. The grandmother seemed like she was geniunely concerned. From the posts that cass has written on this forum, she seems to be struggling.
    A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo! - borrowed from Honey boo boo child

  3. #13
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    6,728
    Quote Originally Posted by LaMemChose View Post
    I have heard the same. It is ludicrous.

    Disabled does not mean incapable. Other individuals cannot fathom living in these bodies, much less have any semblance of being independent in them.

    Consider the source and the ignorance of the source. You cannot control what others say or think, only how you live your life. Don't let such a woman take up space in that fabulous brain of yours.
    Absolutely. Just as able bodied people can't understand the pains some of us feel, they also can't understand living paralyzed.
    Alan

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains
    Posts
    8,152
    Quote Originally Posted by wtf View Post
    That's how I see it too. The grandmother seemed like she was geniunely concerned. From the posts that cass has written on this forum, she seems to be struggling.
    Exactly what I was thinking.

    Chronic pain is a horrible beast and if not controlled, it takes over.

    People mean well sometimes, they (myself included) just don't communicate well.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  5. #15
    Family should know better, I'd cross her off the Christmas card list.
    I have had periodic paralysis all my life. I lost my ability to walk in 2011 beginning with a spinal block, which was used for a hip fracture caused by periodic paralysis.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Central NJ
    Posts
    2,578
    Blog Entries
    1
    I couldn't possibly understand the dynamics to know whether to impugn the grandmother's motives; I leave that to Cass' judgment. But even if her intentions were good, her delivery needs some work. Maybe she really meant, "I see that you suffer with pain. Are there any practical ways that I could help make it a little bit easier on you. Do you think different living arrangements might help?" Rather than having to feel it rest on your as it is, maybe you can address it explicitly, either clarify things to sit more peacefully with you, or correct any misperceptions you think she has.

  7. #17
    she hasn't seen me in years and she doesn't believe i'm in pain. my son and i still live together (he's 20) and i'm paying for his college. i don't need much help and hire someone via private pay. it was a real wtf moment.

  8. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by cass View Post
    she hasn't seen me in years and she doesn't believe i'm in pain. my son and i still live together (he's 20) and i'm paying for his college. i don't need much help and hire someone via private pay. it was a real wtf moment.

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Who is she to say you are not in pain? She has not a clue.

    Family dynamics can get 50 shades of crazy. Barring she is affected by dementia and is a person with whom I'd had a quite warm and loving relationship pre such an illness, I'd remove her from my life, but that's me.

  9. #19
    I remember you saying a long time ago that some family member/s did'nt believe you were in pain......no one can know how much pain another is in. She should be ashamed. What she said is a load of crap.....pardon my french! Please don't let her stupid, ignorant comment upset you. And I know that's easier said than done sometimes.

    It is difficult when you have pain 24/7, but I'm sure you are handling things just fine. A little encouragement would be in order from the relatives.....you do a great job with your son, and did a great job at your work. Ignore her and keep your chin up! If and when you ever do need some sort of facility.....you will be the first to know it.

    Besides, most of us don't have insurance for a full time facility, and there's no way I'm losing my house to go live in one! It just happened to my sister. Three months in the nursing home, and her house is all locked up waiting to be auctioned off to pay the bills.

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by cass View Post
    she hasn't seen me in years and she doesn't believe i'm in pain. my son and i still live together (he's 20) and i'm paying for his college. i don't need much help and hire someone via private pay. it was a real wtf moment.
    I would take more umbrage about her not accepting your word re pain. As far as "facility" is concerned she could just mean something like senior living where staff looks in on you, do some chores like laundry, etc. Her remarks about that could just be a reflection about her own insecurities as she ages. Her attitude toward your pain is less ambiguous and a good reason to get steamed.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 79
    Last Post: 08-07-2012, 03:59 PM
  2. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 02-18-2007, 01:18 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •