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  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Denver, Colorado

    Need feedback...

    Hi Everyone... It's been quite awhile since I posted. Everything is going pretty well. Anyway... I am going to have to go out of town for about 2 and half days in a couple of weeks. My problem is: Whenever I have gone out of town in the past, I have always had someone come in and check on Don... in AM and PM. This time, he is adamant that he can do his stuff by himself. I want some feedback here... I'm afraid that I will come back and see a disaster... pressure sores, nasty UTIs, Invol hell, etc...
    He is a T11 and is mostly self sufficient... I help with his dressing etc. I'm just afraid that he will fall out of his chair while transferring and break something, etc.

    Am I totally out of line... Should I let the chips fall where they may and have the cleaning people make an extra trip to clean up before I get home? (LOL).

    Any feedback would be good...



  2. #2
    He'll be more than fine by himself. At T11 (barring any added debilitating health/medical condition inhibiting function) he should be completely self-sufficient and helping YOU with things!

    You're not out of line, just being concerned. Relax. Go on your trip.

    With him being so adamant, the only thing you might need to worry about is if he's planning on throwing a kegger or some other crazy thing while you're away. Then it might be a good idea to have the cleaners on speed dial.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Denver, Colorado
    Thanks guys!

  4. #4
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    He's 62 and it's been 7yrs? Well if he isn't alright, he'll learn it the hard way!

    Enjoy your trip!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Denver, Colorado
    LOL Lynnifer!

  6. #6
    Oh boy, another helicopter wife. You have to let go of his hand sooner or later. You have reached "later." lol
    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @

    See my personal webpage @

  7. #7
    I totally understand your concern. My father just turned 70 and is 5 years post. I would be just as concerned if I was away. I worry more about a sudden UTI/pneumonia, since when my Dad gets one he can deteriorate to confusion in a few hours. That happens when you are older. Because of that, we always call him every day if not see him every day.

    He will probably be fine, and it will be a good learning experience. I would let your near neighbors know you will be away (if you are friends with them) and we leave a spare key with a neighbor we know well - just in case of an emergency and someone needs to get in the house quickly.

    I would plan an calling to check in and have a person set up that you can call to look in on him if something is needed.

    Have a good break.

  8. #8
    He will be fine. Give him some numbers in case of emergency. I'm t-10 complete and have been 100% independent for nearly 20 years.
    DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Chesapeake, VA
    As long as he has a phone to call for assistance (neighbor for little stuff and 911 for medical emergency), go for it. The only thing I would suggest is that you stock the fridge with things he can heat and eat. I am assuming that reaching the stove to cook is an issue so take that problem away with pre-made food.

    You may come home to some mess but he gets himself to the shower and back, right? So what if he goes around naked for a couple of days if you are not there to assist with dressing. You may find that he really can but it is easier to get you to help with dressing. Does he do his own bowel program? When was his last invol? You are probably expending too much energy worrying about what may happen. Give him the space to fend for himself. He will find out what he really can do when you are not there to do for him and figure out what skills he needs to work on. You will be surprised-hopefully pleasantly.--eak
    Elizabeth A. Kephart, PHR
    mom/caregiver to Ryan-age 21
    Incomplete C-2 with TBI since 3/09

  10. #10
    Many of my patients who don't want home care agencies to come in and provide care have family members and friends set up to check on on them. That way there is someone who can make sure he is okay. I think that is a reasonable request.


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