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Thread: Fed up being able bodies "inspiration"!!!

  1. #31
    There's an inspiration hierarchy.

    CareCure has been around so long that some thread topics have become almost cliche in their reappearance. Of course, the vast majority of people we meet have no clue about what life with a SCI is really like. And I have no idea what's like to grow up in a famine-ravaged African nation. I also have no idea what's like to live in a country that's being torn asunder by civil war with bombs dropping around me. I haven't had cancer (yet) and have been spared abject poverty. The list of shitty things that I can't relate to is seemingly endless and I don't berate myself for not having a more intimate awareness or appreciation of it all.

    We are all to some extent narcissistic creatures. Very few people feel my pain as I experience it, and I'm pretty confident that I'm oblivious to the pain of others. This is not because I'm unsympathetic or lacking for empathy, but because like most people I'm limited by the amount of suffering I can take in before it compromises my ability to function. We're always trying to balance being aware and sensitive to the plight of others while trying not to spiral in despair for how little we can control things outside of our environment and understanding. Seems pretty healthy to me.

    So if someone calls me an inspiration or gives me God's blessings (and I'm an atheist), I don't quibble. It's beats being ignored and or made to be invisible.

    We're all somewhere on the ladder of either being someone's object of inspiration or busy searching for someone to inspire us. Disabled and able-bodied alike, life is a constant struggle. We look to others for guidance, support and reassurance. If someone locates that in me, it's a gift they offer to themselves and I don't begrudge them for it. Intentional or otherwise, it provides a moment (usually very fleeting) of uplift.




  2. #32
    Essie- I know you aren't rude. My last post was about 3/4 joking. I like to use sarcasm to lighten the mood. Most everyone on here has my deepest respect (not sarcasm).

  3. #33
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    When people say say I am an inspiration and the like, I usually say that I am no different from anyone else. We are all dealing with challenges in life. Some are mental, some are medical, some are physical, some are financial, some are emotional, some are educational, some are obvious, some are hidden. My challenges are easy to see. I don't know what your challenges are because I can't see them, but that doesn't make them any less difficult.

  4. #34
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    I think the OP's point is "I just want to be treated as a regular person; chair or no chair, just a regular person".
    Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

  5. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by krshirk View Post
    AM I THAT MESSED UP THAT IM THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY?!
    No, but it's merely a platitude. It's so commonplace, people say it without really acknowledging what he or she means.

  6. #36
    Relevant:


  7. #37
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    I love that My Gimpy Life episode. I think this is spot on to what the OP's point was.
    Rollin' since '89. Complete C8

  8. #38
    I want to scream "im not f-ing trying to live my life for your benefit (inspiration)! BTW, it would be nice to actually hear from you for once or to have you actually initiate a get together!"-----the OP

    This is how I felt at family reunions......once folks were shit-faced, I got the inspiration talk. God save me from such butt sucking....I no longer go to family reunions...

    For the most part, I can tolerate these situations. While at the last Mayhem Fest in Bristow,Va. I got a ton "respect" (my sons' word for it) from the mosh pit crowd. People wanting to take my pic with them, telling me how thier friends/family were messed up and not wanting to be here, etc., etc.... All I wanted to do was be able to see the friggin' band up close.......So, I guess it jus depends on your perspective of how to handle the intentions of others. Perhaps I will mellow as I get older, who knows..

  9. #39
    I think people just say that because they can't get their mind around surviving being in a wheelchair on their own. I was in a restroom at a restaurant last week and when I came out of the stall a lady was walking in. She had a look of shock on her face and said "oh my, do you need any help"? I said No, I just need to squeeze past you so I can wash my hands. She ran over to the sink and turned the water on. I said "it's ok, I got it. She stood there and stared in "amazement". When I went to open the door she said oh my god, that must be so hard. I said, no, I've had to do much harder things that opening this door. This is just part of everyday life. She said, well bless your heart. You are just such an inspiration......I was totally annoyed with her short obsession with my every move in such a small space but I just smiled and moved on. It's different from their perspective than it is from ours. They are somewhat sheltered and see us on an inspirational pedal stool because they can't fathom having to live life as we do. It's annoying and takes time to educate someone on why we don't like to be called an "inspiration" for simply living our lives.
    DFW TEXAS- T-10 since March 20th, 1994

  10. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by Lazlo View Post
    Relevant:

    Yep, very Relevant, great show.
    "Life is about how you
    respond to not only the
    challenges you're dealt but
    the challenges you seek...If
    you have no goals, no
    mountains to climb, your
    soul dies".~Liz Fordred

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