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Thread: Robbie asked a girl to Homecoming!

  1. #51
    Yeah, you are screwed Sharon.

  2. #52
    Senior Member brucec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SharonD View Post
    Robbie is 17 now and YES Ive tried to have these conversations, he is not comfortable with me. So I asked a few guys to chat with him, his w/c bball coach and another friend with a SCI. They had a few beers in our backyard one night and chatted with him, I got lost.

    Robbie tells me its the #1 question he hears, can he have sex???
    #1 question we all hear
    We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
    Ronald Reagan

  3. #53
    Senior Member brucec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SharonD View Post
    Yes, I want some normalcy in every aspect of Robbies life...physically, emotionally and academically. Ive had to figure out all these pieces and they are equally important.

    Then there is Robbies sister, who Ive had the sex talk with as well. That was more about birth control. YIKES!!! not easy parenting teens....Robbie is a free spirit, Emily is tough and independent but more conservative and reserved, at least thats what I like to believe! Look at her, I'm screwed!!!
    true beauty, gets it from her mom
    We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
    Ronald Reagan

  4. #54
    Quote Originally Posted by Buck503 View Post
    Not that she needs my approval, but I admire Sharon's effort to
    help her son mature sexually. Why shouldn't he live as normal a
    teenage life as possible? This kid is lucky because I see some
    people who'd almost delight in the fact that their child can't
    explore sex as easily as a normal teenager.
    Aye! I suffered completely in silence when my injury happened as my parents didn't broach any of these difficult issues with me. Though, I'm uncertain if I would have been really mad at them for doing so.

  5. #55
    Oh Sharon, ay carrramba! I believe God gave me no daughters as I've always said if I had one, I'd (nicely) chain her to a tree and build a home around it. I was a pretty young girl myself. It's heady stuff for a youngster that has no idea what to do w/ all that attention. I'm sure she's smart and self-confident. Those are about the only real defense for a girl like that!

    I remember, at 14, wearing a halter top to a Mexican border town. I was oblivious to the pack of drooling, panting followers I'd accumulated. Literal followers-They followed us around all day!

    Luckily my mom was fully aware.

    I wrote a blog piece about "the sex question". The illustration is of a guy holding up a tee-shirt he'd had made, "YES IT STILL WORKS". Nobody but close friends have asked me, but given the questions ppl DO ask, I'm not surprised.

    Sharon, not for nothing, but if I had a daughter I'd investigate the copper iud. You're wise to keep that line of communication open. My mom was a militant feminist and no fool. She kept herself VERY informed of what I was up to. She was able to do so by passing no judgments, just repeatedly asking my status and re-affirming the possible consequences.

    Sort of off-topic but when I was 16 Mom took me to a female gyno for the give-me-birth-control pelvic. The dr. did the exam, sat us in her office and told us she'd be unable to prescribe BC b/c she disapproved of pre-marital sex. (She was Mennonite.) Mom was livid. The discussion grew a bit heated. Eventually Mom said "I can't help but notice you chew your nails. I'm not surprised. You clearly need to get laid!" I thought it was cool at the time. Now I think she deserved some Mom of the Year award for the entire ordeal, from acknowledging reality to making the appointment and giving me a ride. I'd like to give her the Posthumous Parental Prize for that zinger at the end, though!

    Sorry for the digression. I appaud you having the uncomfortable convos despite the awkwardness. SMART moms do these things.

    ETA: I kept a bowl of condoms, a variety, that I kept fully stocked front and center in Jake's bathroom at our house in okc. They were for his posse too. I'd just refill it no questions asked. Charity begins at home imo. None of the posse became dads while I was there. I've been gone 9 mo's and the dumbest of them has a wee one on the way. His own mother has 5 kids by 5 men, she is such a disaster and disaster follows in her wake.

    Edit again-Sharon, if he doesn't read CC, maybe an appointment w/ a uro or physiatrist to discuss these very issues is in order? It's never too soon to start educating him. He'll be more comfortable w/ his sexuality when he works out the option, tries them for himself and gets those ducks in a row before he needs them. Modding the R&S forum I saw so many men in distress over this. Seems to knock their confidence in the dirt. Forewarned is forearmed, knowledge is power, etc. You can make these appts. for him at 17, but not at 18. FWIW, I would do this. Remember Mr. Coffee and the 10 hr. erection?!
    Last edited by betheny; 09-27-2012 at 12:28 PM.

  6. #56
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    Sharon... embrace the grey and invest in color! Those kids gonna make your hair turn quick.

    Oh and maybe a paint gun to scare off all those boys...I would say shotgun but things just aren't like they used to be.
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  7. #57
    B, I agree with your mom, she sounds like an amazing woman, do you have a pic of her??...this is the best way to parent teens. No judging or harsh reactions, that will keep the communication open.

    I like the bowl of condoms idea! Robs posse is ALWAYS here at our house.

    YES, I remember the 10 hr erection story!!

  8. #58
    And somewhat off topic BUT...while I raise my kids and try to teach them about sex and relationships I still struggle with it in my own life. Ive been seeing a man for a few months, he is divorced and busy with kids just like me. Things were going great, maybe too great, I thought he was a keeper. Out of the blue he decided he wants to remain single. Really caught me off guard. I guess it was all too much for him, my life is messy and complicated...I dont know.

    My boss recently commented on how I take on projects and feel like I have to do it all, cant rely on anyone else for help. This is why! Life is hard and people leave when the going gets tough.

  9. #59
    and back on topic....

  10. #60
    Quote Originally Posted by SharonD View Post
    And somewhat off topic BUT...while I raise my kids and try to teach them about sex and relationships I still struggle with it in my own life. Ive been seeing a man for a few months, he is divorced and busy with kids just like me. Things were going great, maybe too great, I thought he was a keeper. Out of the blue he decided he wants to remain single. Really caught me off guard. I guess it was all too much for him, my life is messy and complicated...I dont know.

    My boss recently commented on how I take on projects and feel like I have to do it all, cant rely on anyone else for help. This is why! Life is hard and people leave when the going gets tough.
    I can completely commiserate.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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