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Thread: socially unacceptable

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Whately, MA United States
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    Jody, most people have no idea how to interact with a cripple, and not making eye contact is a good way of not having to. I was 45 when I got crippled 19 years ago, and before that, I could not think of anything to say to someone in a chair - I felt pity for them, and that is no way to start a conversation.

    I've always been a pretty happy person, so it is no work for me to nod and smile at people I pass in the hall, or on campus. In a big store, I don't even bother unless I see that someone is curious - then I take the time to interact.
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

  2. #12
    Jody, I'd gladly have tea with you. It would be a delight!

    Purple Haze, I'm sorry you lost your Riley. Fur babies are the best.

  3. #13
    Your good people in my book.

  4. #14
    Senior Member fromnwmont's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Northwest Montana
    Anyone that likes tie dyes is my kind people!! Just today i about caused an accident aftrr braking to get a closer look at someonesi tie dyes thry had forsale, I fear my story is no different after my accident when it was fact that I didn't just break a leg many just faded away..

  5. #15
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    What!?!? I'd love to toss a couple of beers back and criticize men on a Saturday evening with you! Or Monday morning. Or Wednesday afternoon. You get the idea! lol We could solve the world's problems!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #16
    Jody, I think it has more to do with them than you/us. Most AB people don't know what it's like to be any other way, and the thought of losing functionality horrifies them; they project that fear onto people with any kind of disability, and imagine that we detest them because they can do things we can't (as they see it). This projection makes them uncomfortable, and they look away: in a word, they feel guilty.

    There was an ad campaign many years ago that featured a model looking into the camera and saying: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." I think it's something like that, only change the words to "Don't hate me because I'm AB." I'm sure some backward, unconscious people do find us socially unacceptable as a general proposition, but I think most just see us as inhabiting a future they could not accept for themselves - and some of those folks can't look it (or us) in the eye.

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Rochester, NY
    mmm tea, booze and crafts! sounds like a good evening to me. some of the friends i appreciate the most are the ones i dont have to say much with and the ones i can talk all day with. just a matter of personality. sometimes ppl use friendliness as a facade.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"

  8. #18
    Senior Member
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    May 2006
    Central NJ
    Blog Entries
    Jody, are you anywhere near Philly anymore? I can imagine having fun with you like I do with my friends I almost now never see, scattered now around the country and otherwise busy. If you're anywhere nearby, I would love to get together. My sense is that you would be just stellar company.

  9. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Fithian, IL
    Jody I LOVE the tye dye shirts and bag you sent me.

  10. #20
    Senior Member ~Lin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Indianapolis, IN
    I like you!

    I've had similar experiences. It's weird, I've found when I'm just being myself people tell me I'm trying too hard and that I'd have better responses and more friends if I was just being myself. But, I WAS. So uh... Yea. Dunno what to do about that!*

    I'm also 'not normal' and I'm very socially awkward. Social things do not come natural to me as a result of aspergers syndrome. Things that are second nature to others I have to take time to learn. And some people aren't so willing to teach you what you're doing wrong or how to fix it! And when your natural response isn't what is the 'socially acceptable' response it's difficult. I frequently feel like I'm just speaking a different language, and at times am completely unable to translate myself properly.
    Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

    I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

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