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Thread: does this kind of thing make you mad?

  1. #1
    Senior Member kate's Avatar
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    does this kind of thing make you mad?

    Some background: I'm a church-going person, but not the sort that cares all that much about the bible. I don't believe in a personal God, I don't believe in the resurrection or atonement for sin or anything Paul said. I like having a community, and I really like the people in that community who helped me raise my kids and showed up when Bruce got hurt, etc. We're still in the same church we picked to get married in way back in 1986.

    So anyway, it's Easter, right? And we're sitting there with one of our grown daughters, and the pastor starts out her sermon with a story about a young minister who went to a hospital where a guy was paralyzed, and after praying with the paralyzed guy, the paralyzed guy said he felt his legs tingling and he thought he could walk, and the minister said it was probably not going to work like that, and the paralyzed guy said, no really, and then stood up and took a few steps.

    And then the minister went out to his car and thanked God for healing the paralyzed guy, beat his head against the steering wheel, and said "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

    It was a laugh line, contrived to introduce a message about being afraid of things God might do if you ask, or something like that.

    So, here's my question -- when people use paralysis as a metaphor, does it bug you?

    Because it bugs me. I kind of want to send her a note saying, look . . . for some people paralysis is not part of a joke. Do you make jokes about people with cancer? Do you make jokes about people with ALS? Blind people? How about lepers? What is it about someone paralyzed that's so tempting? Being paralyzed absolutely sucks. It really does. I get that it's a tasty metaphor for a lot of things, but really -- it's not bad enough that he has to live his life with a screwed up central nervous system, he also has to sit in church and listen to people laughing over a joke like that?

    Meh. So then I started thinking that I should just tell her how this comes across, and I went into a whole mind-fuck about not wanting to be a whiner and about how she'd never get it anyway, and how I should get over myself already.

    Which leads me to my other question: Would you say something? if so, what?

  2. #2
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Yes I would. People like that propagate the notion that we're lazy or just not strong-willed even (or don't have enough faith) to get up and just walk.

    It would be difficult to control my emotions or the level of my voice while doing so, as well.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #3
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    i agree with lynnifer. that stereotype needs to be kicked in the butt! it bothers me and i have been the unfortunate recipient of ppl wanting to "lay hands" on me in public or being told over and over by family that i cannot walk because i don't believe in jesus.

    in cases like this where you feel you may umm lose your religion, write a letter to the pastor telling her how you feel. you can have it proofread so that you make sure it isnt rude but to the point.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
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  4. #4
    As to the question does "paralysis" used as a joke bother me? No...

    I jus dont get uptight about these things. Kate is right that people will not get it no matter how you try to explain it to them, even a pastor. Not saying its right or ok, but I know trying to wage that battle will be forever ongoing. I am jus not gonna let these things ruin my day.

    I think perhaps from being a supervisor in the past, I have a thick skin to such insults, and like water on a ducks back, let it roll off....

  5. #5
    It would rub me the wrong way too Kate, but don't think I'd say anything.
    Before SCI took over our lives it would not have occurred to me.

  6. #6
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
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    I'm with graybeard.
    Quote Originally Posted by graybeard View Post
    As to the question does "paralysis" used as a joke bother me? No...

    I jus dont get uptight about these things. Kate is right that people will not get it no matter how you try to explain it to them, even a pastor. Not saying its right or ok, but I know trying to wage that battle will be forever ongoing. I am jus not gonna let these things ruin my day.

    I think perhaps from being a supervisor in the past, I have a thick skin to such insults, and like water on a ducks back, let it roll off....
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by graybeard View Post
    As to the question does "paralysis" used as a joke bother me? No...

    I jus dont get uptight about these things. Kate is right that people will not get it no matter how you try to explain it to them, even a pastor. Not saying its right or ok, but I know trying to wage that battle will be forever ongoing. I am jus not gonna let these things ruin my day.

    I think perhaps from being a supervisor in the past, I have a thick skin to such insults, and like water on a ducks back, let it roll off....
    i agree with not letting it ruin one's day, no comment is worth that. but if people feel strongly about something, then speak up about it in a respectful manner. and if nothing comes of it, at least you tried.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
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  8. #8
    Senior Member TomRL's Avatar
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    What's with Easter Jokes? Our minister pulled a really lame one out of his pocket last Sunday. Back to your question, if it bothers you, talk to her about it. Explain your feelings and try to keep it non-confrontational.
    Tom

    "Blessed are the pessimists, for they hath made backups." Exasperated 20:12

  9. #9
    What I hear "Graybeard" and "RDF" saying is that those of us who are sensitive to this kind of thing are unnecessarily uptight while they are just cool, no worries kind of guys. Makes the world go 'round.

    All the best,
    GJ

  10. #10
    Point it out Kate. Let her know. It IS important.
    My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

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