Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 31 to 37 of 37

Thread: I don't know how to help anymore!

  1. #31
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,204
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam.I.Am View Post
    It went decent Better than I really expected. The first night she was quiet but we watched some of her favorite movies and eventually she snuggled up with me. We spent the entire second day just being lazy and doing pretty much nothing. She opened up a little about being afraid that she isn't good enough for me, and she feels like she is holding me back. I hopefully calmed her fears. I found a quarter ring machine at one of the local grocery stores and "re-proposed" to her, just to prove I would marry her all over again. She laughed, and it was wonderful to hear. I wouldn't care if she sat around and laughed at me all day. We celebrated with a bottle of wine

    So over all it was relaxing, we still haven't hit the hard stuff like therapy and going back to PT, but I'm hoping this will show her she can open up to me anytime. She also agreed to come with me to my family reunion at the end of August, so I feel like that is a big step. Hoping this leads to more improvements. I just don't want to rush her still.
    Glad it went well

  2. #32
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    So. California
    Posts
    1,057
    A spinal cord injury is devastating at any age. However, when a young person is injured, IMHO, it is even more tragic. My son was 20 when he had his accident. Like your wife, he was completely destroyed: depression, so much sadness, no motivation. What your wife needs is time, lots of time to wrap her head around this. Depression meds only made my son worse, so be careful. Don't be afraid to agree with your wife's feelings. She has every right to feel the way she does. Her life, as she knew it, was ripped out from underneath her. She is in mourning for that life. It's a long hard journey and the two of you are just getting started. The good news is that we are getting closer to a cure and/or therapies to help your wife, my son, and sooooo many others. I have more faith now than I did 8 years ago when my son was injured. You need to look BACK at how far you have come and try to not look too far ahead. Your wife needs to keep her body in the best shape possible so when those therapies become available, she will be ready! I wish you both the best of luck. If she comes from a close-knit family, then you should think about moving closer, if that's possible. Family can be a great comfort and an even greater support system. Again, good luck to both of you!

  3. #33
    You did good getting her out. Keep it up, date night once a week.
    Be very positive. She wants to move to Vermont, cool, you can get sleds and snowmobiles. Lots of new winter clothes and those fur topped Sorels.
    She wants to go back to school up there: great, she will be in class with people that speak funny like her.
    Its tough and no switch gets thrown and its all better. Keep plugging away.

  4. #34
    Thanks for the advice everyone! Today we are leaving for a 10 day camping trip, I feel like we have everything figured out, but Im sure it will be a big learning curve for the both of us! I'm really excited to see Sam so excited for it. She has talking about trying swiming, kayaking, and just relaxing with others. I made sure to get us a campsite with a little distance from the others so we can have some alone time too. I am really hoping this pulls her out of her reclusiveness and opens her back up. I will let everyone know how it goes! We will only be about half an hour from home so if anything is forgotten or she just needs a break we will be able to just leave. Wish us luck!

  5. #35
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Florida Keys
    Posts
    16,412
    Quote Originally Posted by Sam.I.Am View Post
    Thanks for the advice everyone! Today we are leaving for a 10 day camping trip, I feel like we have everything figured out, but Im sure it will be a big learning curve for the both of us! I'm really excited to see Sam so excited for it. She has talking about trying swiming, kayaking, and just relaxing with others. I made sure to get us a campsite with a little distance from the others so we can have some alone time too. I am really hoping this pulls her out of her reclusiveness and opens her back up. I will let everyone know how it goes! We will only be about half an hour from home so if anything is forgotten or she just needs a break we will be able to just leave. Wish us luck!
    Congratulations! I've spent a long life trying to figure everything out, and I feel like I've barely scratched the surface. Accomplishment creates confidence - so it's cool that y'all are doing more active stuff together. I just kayaked the Everglades and found that to be easy and fun.

    I think being close to home - yet free of your routine - is brilliant. Again, don't expect things to go in a straight line. There's always ups and downs, progress and setbacks. Sometimes the latter give birth to the former, though it's hard to recognize at the time.

    Have a great time!
    Foolish

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

  6. #36
    I wish you the best! I haven't been camping yet since my injury, which happened while camping but I think about it all the time. Let us know how it goes. Kayaking, especially, will be good for her. It's a complete equalizer at her level of injury...no different than AB folks. She can go far and wide and enjoy nature the same as everyone. I hope this helps her get turned onto some positives. I know it's been rough and I understand that. Better days ahead? I sure hope so!

  7. #37
    I hope your camping trip went well!

Similar Threads

  1. Can't take it anymore
    By oakleaf41 in forum Life
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-02-2011, 11:50 AM
  2. I can't take anymore
    By maryonwheels46 in forum Pain
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 09-23-2009, 06:08 PM
  3. i cant take it anymore
    By alikatbab in forum Care
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-16-2006, 07:57 AM
  4. You're Not A Kid Anymore When...
    By roshni in forum Life
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-19-2006, 04:14 PM
  5. I can't take it anymore!!!
    By kickinglamb in forum Pain
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-24-2006, 02:09 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •