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Thread: I don't know how to help anymore!

  1. #21
    Have you had a heart to heart discussion re her feelings about all the roomates? I remember that in Rehab there were people around all the time, when I returned home I loved the relative solitude for quite awhile. The crowded living situation may be an underlying factor. Has she had bloodwork done lately. Something like low iron levels can cause complete lack of energy and a bleak outlook.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by SuprSi View Post
    No worries, for all I know she just need to get stuck in with the physio again, but I think having a break would be more helpful.



    You are right about quite a lot of early sci patients getting depressed, but I think putting someone on anti-depressants automatically isnt right. Over here all of us had a psychiatric evaluation, which is a bit of a ball ache, but works effectively to see who need counciling/antidepressants. I had a few low moments as everyone does, but generally felt pretty well ballanced. I hate the idea of antidepressants messing with my moods.

    This really isn't very helpful to the OP, who needs to know about options available. You're lucky you never had depression, but your reason for discouraging treatment is very poor. Why discourage something that you have claim to have no experience with?

    At my father's rehab facility, people were not evaluated and treated for depression effectively. And after he was discharged, his physiatrist NEVER ONCE asked about mood/depression associated symptoms, despite us asking for help multiple times. Finally we had to go to my father's primary care doctor for help.

    Personally, I hate the idea of things like.... getting a new spinal cord injury... messing with my mood. But what do I know.

  3. #23
    We talked about the roommates when she was still in rehab and we agreed there really wasnt anything we could do about it. We have the master bedroom and bathroom so we arent to crowded and we only share the main floor with one other person.

    Everything is set for this weekend, she even agreed to go. I told her I just wanted some alone time to relax. No one except my mom will know where we are so no unexpected visitors will show up. While I'm really hoping for a good talk, I will still be very happy for just us time. Im thinking of even taking a personal day and making it a three day weekend. Its suppose to be a good stormy weekend, perfect for hiding inside Now it just needs to be five so I can leave work!

  4. #24
    If this doesn't work I am going to talk to her about looking at antideprssents. I already have a appointment with her and her doctor next week, I am just hoping she keeps it this time. We need to have a referal from him for a psychiatrist so our insurance will cover it. I am fine with her takinf time to adjust, I just want to make sure thateverything is beinf done so she doesnt sink down lower.

  5. #25
    Senior Member SuprSi's Avatar
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    Fingers crossed Ayden, this sounds like a pretty solid plan.

    Quote Originally Posted by hlh View Post
    This really isn't very helpful to the OP, who needs to know about options available. You're lucky you never had depression, but your reason for discouraging treatment is very poor. Why discourage something that you have claim to have no experience with?

    At my father's rehab facility, people were not evaluated and treated for depression effectively. And after he was discharged, his physiatrist NEVER ONCE asked about mood/depression associated symptoms, despite us asking for help multiple times. Finally we had to go to my father's primary care doctor for help.

    Personally, I hate the idea of things like.... getting a new spinal cord injury... messing with my mood. But what do I know.
    ..And your post attacking me IS helpful to the OP?!

    hlh, I think you misread.. I didn't say anything about discouraging treatment, I think antidepressants would be a very good thing for Sam IF she agrees to take them. You can't take away what little control she has. All I was saying to you is not everyone needs them and it would be wrong to put everyone on them as you suggested. I'm sorry your father's had a bad experience but that's no reason to attack me for not having that experience.

    And your last point is just childish.
    T11 Asia A after near-fatal bike crash.. Just happy to still be here

    No, I didn't loose my mind... It got scared and ran away!!

  6. #26
    Enjoy your weekend away! I think it's a great idea. You seem to be realistic enough to know that it might not cure all, but could be a foot in the door to what she's feeling. Just some time alone might do wonders for her. Let us know how she's doing and let her know that some of us remember her from when she first posted and would love to have her back again as a community member.

  7. #27
    It went decent Better than I really expected. The first night she was quiet but we watched some of her favorite movies and eventually she snuggled up with me. We spent the entire second day just being lazy and doing pretty much nothing. She opened up a little about being afraid that she isn't good enough for me, and she feels like she is holding me back. I hopefully calmed her fears. I found a quarter ring machine at one of the local grocery stores and "re-proposed" to her, just to prove I would marry her all over again. She laughed, and it was wonderful to hear. I wouldn't care if she sat around and laughed at me all day. We celebrated with a bottle of wine

    So over all it was relaxing, we still haven't hit the hard stuff like therapy and going back to PT, but I'm hoping this will show her she can open up to me anytime. She also agreed to come with me to my family reunion at the end of August, so I feel like that is a big step. Hoping this leads to more improvements. I just don't want to rush her still.

  8. #28
    Sounds like what a lot of us went thru back in the day when first injured.

    My wife and I went to see a Psychiatrist rather than a Psychologist. After some blood tests etc.; she explained that Seratonin regulation levels are affected after a SCI. Seratonin helps regulate our moods and emotions. She prescribed Wellbutrin for me along with counseling with a Psychologist which helped immensly.

    I'm sure she is depressed and scared for the future but I would suggest having her checked out for the seratonin also.

    Been injured 39 years, it does get better and better now that I am aware that I may have a low period once a month and counselling to know it will pass.

  9. #29
    Thanks, Im hoping she will go back to school in the spring. I would like her to start in september, even if it was just one class, just so she isnt sitting home doing nothing all day. I thonk she is scared to go back and see everyone. She goes to a small university where you know most people in your program. She has been talking about moving back to Vermont and seeing if she can finish online through the University of Vermont. I agree about moving, the town we live in now will be very hard to handle once winter comes. It is all steep hills and massive amounts of snow.

    I dont want her to run away and regret not graduating with her class. Bur I dont want to keep her trapped in a town that confines her to the house either. We always talked about moving, i just didnt think it would happen so fast lol.

  10. #30
    She grew up there so she knows how the snow is. We just think that the city would be a little more wheelchair friendly. Here nothing is really built with disability in mind and it seems that everything is on a hill or has steps leading into it. All of the main buildings on campus are wheelchair friendly but the paths in winter and ramps neber get cleared till late afternoon. I think she is also missing her family a lot.

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