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Thread: This is gonna sound pety but I have to talk to talk to someone~

  1. #1
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Unhappy This is gonna sound pety but I have to talk to talk to someone~

    I have a new pca that is driving me crazy. I don't know why this is bothering me so much, but I'm at the point of firing her.

    She talks to inanimate objects! To ALL inanimate objects!
    The wheelchair, the printer, the door, the pillow, everything.

    Driving the wheelchair to park it, "Come on, come on, turn now, go right, straighten up!" etc, etc. etc

    The printer, "Le's cut off. I cut you off! Why are you still on?"

    The electric door, "Come on now. Act right!"

    1st I said, "You're talking to inanimaie objects." She said, "yeah I've always done that." Me, " well could you please not do it here?" "I have a tendency to pick up people's traits & I don't want to talk to inanimate objects" "I'd appreciate it very much" no comment

    Then she still did it, but not as much. Then one evening I started talking out loud to my pc! It was going real slow & I said her same words, "Come on, come on!" I said " Did you hear that?" "Now I'm talking to my pc."
    No comment.

    The tension is real tight when she's here. She still does it & never says she's sorry. I bring it up when she does it, but no comment back.

    Now she's started groaning after things. You know when things don't do right you snarl at it. Like a dog when they're aggravated.

    This sounds so pety of me. Esp. after writing it down in words. But it really, really gets on my nerves. A very unchristian attitude.

    It's a power thing!

  2. #2
    That doesn't sound petty to me, nor does it seem to me like a power issue on your part. All of us at times shout at/plead with inanimate objects when they don't work as expected, but this person's continual running chatter (one could almost call it a dialogue, except that we don't hear the other end ) sounds obsessive-compulsive and it would annoy me, too.

    It's a tough one, especially if she's good at her job - and I do understand your desire to express forbearance. But this is the kind of situation where annoyance tends to blossom with time, rather than diminish; and I doubt she can actually stop the behavior, since she states that's she's always done it. Even if she manages to confine the comments to her head for awhile, you'll be edgy about breakthroughs and the relationship dynamic will be tense. You might end up having to tell her that it's just not a good fit.

    I'm really, really sorry that you're in this kind of bind, Mona!
    Last edited by Bonnette; 06-28-2012 at 05:07 PM. Reason: wording

  3. #3
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    I talk to myself, and inatimate objects too. I think it has to do with being alone a lot. I noticed our house guest recently, talks to the tv a lot. It was annoying. He pointed out I talk to my truck. cmo-on, truckytruck, you can do it!, good truckytruck, oh no! truckytruck! anyway, it may take a little while for her to break that habit. people don't always realize how odd things may seem to onlookers.

    anyway, are you sure you didnt talk to your computer sometimes, but now you notice it because she annoy's you? what is she like as an aid? do you like her otherwise?

  4. #4
    Senior Member cbdives's Avatar
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    Does this affect her work quality?

    Joe

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    It sounds like a sanity thing to me. If I were you I'd be losing mine, never worth it IMO. Does she seem to be trying and just not managing to kick the habit yet? If not, I'd cut her loose (after explaining to her again the importance to you and your regretful assessment of the consequences if she doesn't try). You don't need someone that inconsiderate around, nor to pay someone to annoy you. It's not like she's a colleague or family member that you must indulge.

  6. #6
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    I agree with bonnet. the girl just annoys the tar outa you, or you would be able to ignore her little quirks.

    anyway, If I were her, I would at least try to make an effort not to talk to the furniture, but might not understand it was enough to lose my job over. sometimes there is no love match.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
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    Thank you so much!!! I've felt so bad about feeling this way.

    She's okay vwith skills. But she does even more that annoys me.
    I just knew I had a right to feel annoyed about these. Didn't think so about the talking to things.

    Background: She's has been a cottage supervisor of a mentally challenged home for men 25-50 yrs. old. She was very good to them. I'm sure they loved her. Having said that the attributes she had there are not good here. There she had all power of course they were like her babies. They couldn't wait for her to get there & talk to them. Give them the attention & time they deserved. At least according to her the others (which I've seen at Nursing Homes) don't have enough time to talk, play with residents. They are over worked rushing to get everything done in just a small amount of time. Well she says she made time to give them attention and I believe the way her face lights up she did. She's sweet & very caring.
    But I'm not waiting for her attention & talking etc. I'm waiting for her to cook, clean, & get things done I can't. I have family & friends that love me & give me what I need and she's voiced she misses that. Sorry that's not what I hired her for. kwim?

    I also think she might have got this talking to things from lack of feedback from the residents while there working. I mean her talking to the wc to move might have been funny to them. Something they joined in together as a game. Come on wc move! lol

    At first every time she turned me in the bed she'd let out a grunt like sound like it was real hard to turn me. I could see her making a game turning them (some or very over weight)& come on grrrrr over you go. kwim? I'm very sensitive about my quad belly. I ran 6 miles a day & worked out in a gym 1.5 hrs 3-4 times a week. I stay on a diet. So this grunted had to go when she turned me. She could see that it was really hurting me. Making me very self concious & within a week that stopped.

    I think the grrrrrr under her throat now is if I can't talk to the objects you're gonna hear my frustration. Retaliation. I don't like games.

    One more thing she won't stop petting me. I'm sure they loved it but I don't! Remember when your kids would pet you wanting something. You'd be talking & they'd keep petting mama mama. That's what it reminds me of. I want to scream. She walks around the bed & will pet me on my shoulder. Walk around my wc pet me on my back. I'll say "you're petting me!" That she will say sorry. But do it again in 5 minutes.

    Constant things I've asked her not to do she does. She's use to all the control & just won't let go. Like "do we need to charge your cell? " Please don't ask me that. No we don't. I take care of that by myself. She'll ask me again the next day. I'm 60 yrs old & she treats me like a child. I told her let me do everything I can do! You're here to help do the things I can't. Don't limit me please.

    You got the picture! She's under my nerves. lol One reason my pca I've had 4 yrs. took a flip on her bike & broke the end of her elbow off. They had to do surgery last month and put it back on with a hugh screw. Don't know when she'll be back. But she's awesome. She says. "you're the brains & I'm your hands & feet. Just tell me what you want & I'll do it!"

    Thanks for listening!

  8. #8
    Be fair to yourself and her and make a change after you've secured a suitable replacement. She's all over your nerves and I doubt that will change.

  9. #9
    Petting, growling and talking to objects, YIKES! I dont think you are petty and also dont think she will change. Sorry its not working out but for your own sanity you need to keep looking.

  10. #10
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    yes, nothing personal, but it isnt working out.
    if she is unwilling to try and change some habits she has formed,.... The touching would annoy me. It took a long time to break a slappy, pokey petty friend I had. She did not get on my last nerve though.

    I worked with a few people that it took some effort to not let them bug the hell out of me with everything they did. I have lost at least one job possibly two because I just rubbed the boss the wrong way.
    I think you should not feel terrible or petty for not getting on with this lady. sometimes folks just don't match up. If this is one of those times, where the lady just rubs you the wrong way on several issues, it is better to give her notice that it isnt working out and she should look for other work.

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