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Thread: SCI and Divorce..

  1. #1
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    Angry SCI and Divorce..

    I have a fairly new SCI (T5/6)..i am currently going through divorce proceedings where the mother of my two children assumes that i am "totally disabled"..and that i need help to care for my children..i believe i have more ability in one pinky finger than she has in her whole body..i am only saying this because i feel that i am being discriminated against and that being paraplegic is not being "totally disabled"..i workout three times a week and have proven that i can take care of my children alone..i can drive a car..although I am not medically cleared to drive..my motivation is quite obvious..i do not like to sit around and mope about my injury..i am willing to fight for joint custody of my children..i really hate the fact that people can be so quick to judge someone because they are paralyzed..my mind is the muscle that matters more..if anyone has been through a situation such as mine..i would really appreciate some information about dealing with disability discrimination..Thank You..

  2. #2
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    Dont worry there are lots of parents here, and a few single moms who share custody too.
    being in a wheelchair doesnt make you an unfit parent.
    Last edited by jody; 12-22-2011 at 12:06 PM. Reason: no u in custody

  3. #3
    mine did everything she could to take my custody away, but the judge and a good lawyer proved just how wrong she was.......

  4. #4
    Through the Looking Glass can assist you in fighting for custody or joint custody of your children. Here is a link:

    http://www.lookingglass.org/

    (KLD)

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by eliasnelisa View Post
    I have a fairly new SCI (T5/6).\.i can drive a car..although I am not medically cleared to drive..\u..
    why do you need t needically cleared t drive? is t ia state law within DMV.
    epileptics with uncontrolled seizure may not be cleared , especially if they are not compliant
    but why do you need to be cleared? i am askinf cause dont let them use it anything against you if it is a discriminatory law , call it out,
    if it is not a law . do not let them use it against you.
    cauda equina

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by eliasnelisa View Post
    I have a fairly new SCI (T5/6)..i am currently going through divorce proceedings where the mother of my two children assumes that i am "totally disabled"..and that i need help to care for my children..i believe i have more ability in one pinky finger than she has in her whole body..i am only saying this because i feel that i am being discriminated against and that being paraplegic is not being "totally disabled"..i workout three times a week and have proven that i can take care of my children alone..i can drive a car..although I am not medically cleared to drive..my motivation is quite obvious..i do not like to sit around and mope about my injury..i am willing to fight for joint custody of my children..i really hate the fact that people can be so quick to judge someone because they are paralyzed..my mind is the muscle that matters more..if anyone has been through a situation such as mine..i would really appreciate some information about dealing with disability discrimination..Thank You..

    Get a really good lawyer.
    2012 SCINetUSA Clinical Trial Support Squad Member
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  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by eliasnelisa View Post
    I have a fairly new SCI (T5/6)..i am currently going through divorce proceedings where the mother of my two children assumes that i am "totally disabled"..and that i need help to care for my children..i believe i have more ability in one pinky finger than she has in her whole body..i am only saying this because i feel that i am being discriminated against and that being paraplegic is not being "totally disabled"..i workout three times a week and have proven that i can take care of my children alone..i can drive a car..although I am not medically cleared to drive..my motivation is quite obvious..i do not like to sit around and mope about my injury..i am willing to fight for joint custody of my children..i really hate the fact that people can be so quick to judge someone because they are paralyzed..my mind is the muscle that matters more..if anyone has been through a situation such as mine..i would really appreciate some information about dealing with disability discrimination..Thank You..
    I didn't mean to suggest that you need a really good lawyer to gain joint custody...but get a really good one anyway. It's all about the best interest of the kids. Your injuries should not prevent you from having substantial parental custody. But, start doing whatever you need to do to prove that you can take care of them alone.
    2012 SCINetUSA Clinical Trial Support Squad Member
    Please join me and donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org and copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

  8. #8
    This really requires a major blow back as this woman and her incredibly ignorant and selfish thoughts...need a "come to jesus" reckoning!

    I wish I could help more and would..maybe the ACLU?? Maybe United SPinal? Hell, I would write up your situation and then you could send it out to all that could be in a position to help. We could all share your wirte up. This kind of discrimination deserves attention from all of us. excuse me, but Fuck her!

    PS I am a mom of two girls..who divorced when they were 3 and 1 and I cared for them MYSELF...full custodial parent. so yeah Fuck her again!

    excuse my language...I had a wine
    "The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda

  9. #9
    Senior Member trekker6's Avatar
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    I have custody of my 10 year old daughter, as a man the odds are against you, they will always give the children to the mother even if she is an alcoholic. My lawyer told me they give women a lot of rope and many hang themselves with it, if you screw up, the judge will nail you but they never did anything to my daughters mother, even though she was always in contempt of court. Eventually I got custody. Don't get me wrong if my daughters mother was a decent woman, I'd prefer her to raise my daughter, women are just so much better at that.
    "Would you rather reduce deficits and interest rates by raising revenue from those who are not now paying their fair share, or would you rather accept larger budget deficits, higher interest rates, and higher unemployment? And I think I know your answer." Ronald Reagan"

  10. #10
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    Hey Josh,

    Sorry to hear about the troubles you are going through with your wife. Stand your ground and hold firm on getting custody of your kids.

    I have an old set of hand controls in my garage that you may be able to use. You would just need to drive into Albuquerque to pick them up. If interestd let me know.

    Your fellow SCI crip from HealthSouth---Margaret [aka Peggy]

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