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Thread: Are you tired when people go out of there way to open doors for you?

  1. #1

    Are you tired when people go out of there way to open doors for you?

    Ok . . . I have been a t-10 for 25 years I am now 42 years old. I have a great job, a wonderful wife and through the miracle of modern medicine I have a 6 year old daughter who is the love of my life. The one disaiblity issue that still gives me grief is when people not only open doors for me but go out of their way and make awkward movements to open doors for me. It puts me in a bad mood everytime and on a few occasions I have stopped the person, explained I didn't need the help and then proceeded to show that person how in fact I can open doors on my own. I'm sure they leave feeling like I am an ungrateful jerk but my goodness . . . I just don't like it. Any advice?

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by hugheswf View Post
    Ok . . . I have been a t-10 for 25 years I am now 42 years old. I have a great job, a wonderful wife and through the miracle of modern medicine I have a 6 year old daughter who is the love of my life. The one disaiblity issue that still gives me grief is when people not only open doors for me but go out of their way and make awkward movements to open doors for me. It puts me in a bad mood everytime and on a few occasions I have stopped the person, explained I didn't need the help and then proceeded to show that person how in fact I can open doors on my own. I'm sure they leave feeling like I am an ungrateful jerk but my goodness . . . I just don't like it. Any advice?
    Smile and be thankful.
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  3. #3
    If I have the opportunity, I politely decline help if I do not need it. If they get the door or do something else I do not need help with, I politely thank them. I see no reason to make things difficult for people who do need the assistance. As I have become older, I have come to the point when I even ask for help occasionally. Someday, you may be where I now am. I am glad to see moments of politeness in a world that has become very rude and rather uncivil. I suppose the people can be faulted for not asking if you want help, but I am not going to be too critical of people just trying to be nice. After all, they cannot read are minds and may not have had sensitivity training. Personally, I resent the rude bastards who slam the door in my face when I am following them in.
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  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by SCIfor55yrs. View Post
    Personally, I resent the rude bastards who slam the door in my face when I am following them in.
    My thoughts exactly.

  5. #5
    Senior Member wtf's Avatar
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    Good advice from Liz. I guess I'll never understand why getting help from someone really bothers a sci person.

  6. #6
    Senior Member ~Lin's Avatar
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    When I go shopping, I set my bags on the ground against the car and then I open the car and load my chair first, and then the bags so food doesn't get smashed. One day an item fell out of my bags, and as I started to turn around someone called out "I've got it for you" and picked it up. So I went to the car and set my bags on the ground and turned around to receive the item that had fallen. Another person runs up, picks up my bags that I set on the ground and hands them to me and asks if I need any more help. I said no thanks, waited a minute for them to walk away, and set my bags back on the ground where they had been.

    Its irritating, but I don't want to be rude to anyone who is trying to offer help. Sometimes I do need it, so when its given when I don't I react the same way. Unless of course its something that crosses the line, like pushing my chair or messing with my service dog.

    I consider doors to be common courtesy. I went out of my way to open doors for ANY person when I had the ability. If I was closer to the door than them, I'd open it and hold it open, turn around and re-open it, or stop and wait in the doorway until they reach it as well.
    Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

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  7. #7
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I used to hate it when I had something to prove. I let it go. Now I'm appreciative .. especially if male and handsome, lol.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  8. #8
    T-10 post 19 years, 45 years old in good shape. I have also been experience that a lot recently and it did bother me a little bit. I learned to look past myself and let people do something kind for me. What changed that i was at an abilties expo in La recently. Me and my wife were out for dinner and we were exiting the restaraunt, and this older lady in a chair was trying to get in on one side while i was exiting. The place was very busy, she could just not get in the door. There were a lot of Ab's behind her and i was waiting for some to hold the door for her. I was amazed no one helped I asked her is she needed help and i held the door for her, she said thank you very much. I held the door and look in amazement at all the able bodied people bind her, that wouldn't help. The looks on their faces as another person helped someone that no one else would. So i look at it like this, if i give other people a bad taste in their mouth when they try to help me. They will think twice about helping someone else that really needs that. enough said

  9. #9

    hey Babe

    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    I used to hate it when I had something to prove. I let it go. Now I'm appreciative .. especially if male and handsome, lol.

    Can I get that door for you

    you made my day lynnifer

    ket
    Kindly,

    The Ketamine Kitty

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  10. #10
    A couple of times I tell the person who is holding the door open for me that I really miss being able to hold the door open for ladies and then ask if they might let me hold the door open for them.

    This is always returned with a gracious smile as I hold the door and let them through. Unless they are a man. They seem to get really pissed that I called just them a lady.....

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