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Thread: Suicidal

  1. #11
    I totally 100% relate to Art's post
    Arndog good idea about the letter

    I've been in Nursing Home it was very tough in every aspect . For me too hard to write down . It Sucked .... I do not like to think of that area of life....
    Have I ever Felt suicidal ? This is a super heavy question !!! Often I ask myself that question and everyday brings new challenges so I just never Bottomed out 100% and hope I never do .
    I try to be upbeat positive as life is stressfull enough
    We all have our own perspectives on that Question .
    I just want to make the best of everyday .
    At this point as S%i##y life is or can be I still say No .

    Thinking about my lousy writing I just made a oxymoron paradox statement .

  2. #12
    Nice Art, good Dog.

    We are not here for friends and family. your God, your self all else in decending and all situational.

    If you choose this path you MUST let your loved ones know and must help them understand that they have done all they can and it is no about THEM.

    I'm putting my affairs in order and have spoken with some of my family, surprisingly, though sad they get it. Have another talk Friday with my daughter and her husband. They already knew what I was going to talk about.

    I'm rapidly deterioirating. Have't given up quite yet, new docs Monday. But they've all seen me spiral down to aained shadow, they've all watched me scream lieing in unconrtolable spasms, puking ald laying in my own piss and vomit.

    I have only a few promises to keep and only a few miles before I can sleep, unless my God, in his mercy, takes me sooner.

    Suicide is too often a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and in that case a sad, bad thing.

    Sometimes it is a solution to a permanent problem.

    I am sad to have written this but have been researching and speaking to shrinks, first about my own dcision then about family and have received wise counsel about helping family cope as best they can and at the least assure them of your love and your knowing they did what they can to minimize, as best, the guilt or abandonment the y will feel.



    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    I think nearly everyone gets down and has negative thoughts at times, especially if you're going through a rough time while living life with a spinal cord injury. Different issues, like isolation, lack of social/family support, the trouble of working/not being able to work, dealing/"adjusting" to your disability, chronic pain, financial issues, trouble finding a mate, health problems/pressure wounds and many more can develop that really wear you down. I know this from experience...

    While I listed the reality of what we face as we go through life with a spinal cord injury, if possible it helps to stay positive, be a glass half full, not a glass half empty person and remember, even though things may seem bad at the moment...things will get better. I've had lots of ups and downs in the years since my injury...happiness and good days are definitely possible...I've always found that my state of mind, how I react to setbacks/challenges has a big impact on whether a day goes well, so so or badly. Hopefully you can find a special someone to date and develop a relationship with...being in a relationship definitely makes life better.

    Suicide is permanent...try to think of the family and friends who would miss you...

  4. #14
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    It is only a small flame of hope that I can't stamp out - for all I'm worth - that keeps me going. It gets smaller and smaller but refuses to flame out and leave me at peace in the darkness.

    Trust me, I've been waiting and watching for years. I do my thing and come back and yet it refuses to extinguish.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #15
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Baltimore, MD
    I'm a glass totally empty person. Always have been (got it from my mother.) Therapy hasn't helped change that

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  6. #16

    Ever since Rusty checked out

    I've had these feeings.

  7. #17

    A dog or cat

    makes life worthwhile.

  8. #18
    They come and go, but I am not going to do it. I always hope things will be better and I have had some really good times, but usually I am alone, noone to speak to but again, I hope things will be better tomorrow.
    TH 12, 43 years post

  9. #19
    I have put a gun to my head several times in the past few weeks and thought, if it just happens to go off, is it suicide...always with cleaning kit next to me.

  10. #20
    Senior Member mr_coffee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    San Francisco, CA
    Death is always there waiting for you but after that then what? You only get one chance to live this life, weither it be hell or happy but you might as well stick it out to see what happens.

    I first came to this site to find others who wanted to end their lives and 6 or 7 years later (not keeping track anymore) I'm the happiest person I know (walking or not walking). I remember wishing and telling my dad/aunt that I wish a car would smash into us and kill me. I then was really wanting to end my life but didn't have the guts so I told my mom to help me and she told me she would in 3 years. I gave it 3 years and my life totally changed. I realized if I only had 3 years to live I might as well make the best out of them and went back to school, got a degree, and moved on with my life.

    Life can change for the better even if you feel it will always be hell but you have to wait around and see if it does improve rather than jumping to conclusions. Everyone makes the mistake of thinking they know what the future will hold and if right now sucks, it will always suck but that isn't always the case. Set a time limit for yourself and really try to improve your life with whatever resources you have. Just sitting around waiting for your life to improve won't do anything in fact it will make things much worse.

    You have to forget who you use to be and how easy life was before you injury and move on with who you are now. Life is a struggle but only a struggle.

    If you have any questions feel free to PM me.
    Last edited by mr_coffee; 05-15-2012 at 02:04 AM.
    C7/C8, T1 incomplete;

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