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Thread: mental health advice

  1. #11
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
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    Hi OJ, I was so glad to read your post even tho' it pulled at my heart strings.

    I had a horrible feeling that something was wrong when your posts on FB and here suddenly stopped but I had no idea that your "Black Dog", as Churchill called the depression that cursed his life, had woken.

    It is so unfair that when things were going so well, your European trip, great results with your masters, new pup, the proposed relocation etc............. that this then should creep up on you.

    As for advice - I can only thank the Gods that I don't suffer from genuine depression and if I'm in a bit of a funk a quick read of The Wind in the Willows or similar will get me back on track, that being the case I'm afraid I have no wise words.

    All I can offer, as I hope you already know, is my full support, love and an ever listening sympathetic ear.

    Please try to get to the UK again this year so unlike last year we can meet in the flesh.

  2. #12
    I think this thread came off as more self-pitying than I hoped. On the outside my life is not terrible. I have lots going for me that others would be more than happy to have. I do know that. I thought about this all day. I read all the replies and they were helpful. Thank you everybody. I know I have to get this under control. I used to think that maybe some people are just naturally more happy than others. But it's not normal to feel this way for so long even after medication and therapy and having good things in your life. I am going to see about a referral to a new doctor.

  3. #13
    Senior Member skippy13's Avatar
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    I do not think you are exhibiting self pity. To me what you wrote is a simple statement of facts.

    I think most people who are facing the feeling that the darkness is approaching feel fear that it wil overtake them again. To someone who does not have a severe clinical depression it seems overly dramatic or silly, but a true clinical deep depression is something that cannot be just shaken off with a few days of behavior change. The darkness prevents any kind of enjoyment from being able to seep in and sometimes it is the only safe place.

    You are probably right in that you need a new psych set up. I fought this for forty years with no success until I got over the fear to try just one last thing. That thing worked for me and I no longer have the creeping dread of wondering every day if it is going to come back and hang around for months at a time.

    I wish you peace and love.
    Anything worth doing, is worth doing to excess

  4. #14
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I don't think it is either .. and I think you would be surprised at how many people here feel the same way you described!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim View Post
    Took a lot of courage to post this, hope you realize you are VERY worthy of being happy and creating the life you want
    OJ, I don't want to minimize anything you described but I just wanted to try and point some things out that I've learned along the way.

    - The mental health docs and pharma make a ton of money off of folks. Their interests don't always allign with yours. You should have an end game for therapy and getting off the meds if you can.
    - You are the captain of your ship and no mental health professional will take an ounce of responsibility for where you end up in life.
    - Many mental health professionals went into the business to figure out their own issues while they "help others with theirs"
    - So many mental health issues are circumstantial (horrible boss, living with a SCI, living in a perpetual state of crisis, born into a horrible family environment, not being prepared for the world by your parents, ...). Try and minimize the bad environmental stuff, shore up deficiencies and then move on, if possible.

    And most importantly take responsibility for your happiness and situation as Jim alluded to above. No one else is going to do this for you!

  6. #16
    I sent you a message

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Patton57 View Post
    OJ, I don't want to minimize anything you described but I just wanted to try and point some things out that I've learned along the way.

    - The mental health docs and pharma make a ton of money off of folks. Their interests don't always allign with yours. You should have an end game for therapy and getting off the meds if you can.
    - You are the captain of your ship and no mental health professional will take an ounce of responsibility for where you end up in life.
    - Many mental health professionals went into the business to figure out their own issues while they "help others with theirs"
    - So many mental health issues are circumstantial (horrible boss, living with a SCI, living in a perpetual state of crisis, born into a horrible family environment, not being prepared for the world by your parents, ...). Try and minimize the bad environmental stuff, shore up deficiencies and then move on, if possible.

    And most importantly take responsibility for your happiness and situation as Jim alluded to above. No one else is going to do this for you!
    I get what you are saying. I know that medication and counselling are very helpful but can't solve the problems underneath. I think for me sometimes they have worked like a mask. I start to feel better with a certain medication so I start to think that everything is okay and the problems are solved. Except things never stay okay and the cycle always starts again eventually. It seems so stupid and so obvious now but it wasn't until I was in my late 20s that I realized it wasn't normal to go through life feeling so empty inside all the time or to hate myself like I do. I didn't realize until I was 28 or so that most people don't go through life like that. But it was my normal way of being for so long that I couldn't even picture what it must be like not to feel this way. So I agree that I am the only one who can make things different for me and that I need to take responsibilty for my own happiness. It's not just a case of feeling unhappy and depressed. It goes a lot deeper. I know I have to make big changes in how I think about myself and other people and how I interact with people. Maybe that is why right now I feel like I am barely hanging on. I have to find a way to stop the cycle. Meds and therapy alone won't do that.

  8. #18
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    Your first post reminded me of someone I know very well who was diagnosed with Avoidant Personality Disorder. Google it and check it out. If your think you might have it or some form of it (like SCI, it comes in varies degrees of severity), try discussing it with your mental health professional. It's treatable and with hard work a person can come out on the other side and be a lot happier in life.

    I once had clinical depression and it was the most miserable time of my life.

    Good luck and best wishes.
    2012 SCINetUSA Clinical Trial Support Squad Member
    Please join me and donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org and copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

  9. #19
    I think that feeling you should be happy because you have things other people want is not a good way to look at things. This only brings you guilt. Sometimes depression just is because it is. It is a hard thing to overcome. Sometimes it is triggered by situational things, but often just comes out of the blue sky. Make sure you check your thyroid.
    I wish you luck and send you hope. I have missed you by the way....
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  10. #20
    Sorry i haven't replied to many things in this thread. And private messages. I will when I can. I was able to get an emergency referral and am looking at some intensive mental health programs and what might be the best option for me. So i am trying to address the problems underneath.

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