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Thread: Is it anybody's business

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  1. #1

    Is it anybody's business

    Within the past 3 months, I have had cataract surgeries on both of my eyes. The pre-op nurses and the post-op nurses have in both instances, asked how I was injured. Since it has no bearing on the care that they give pre and post op cataract surgery, I don't think it is any of their business how I was injured. This same question has been asked of me before a colonoscopy and other medical tests. I really don't think it is any of the nurse's or technician's business how I was injured. I now respond, "it was an accident." If they continue to pursue it, I just say, "I don't want to talk about it." That usually shuts them up and then we get on with the business of the procedure or test for which I have been scheduled.

    I think these kinds of inquiries are just nosy curiosity and are extraordinarily inappropriate, if not down right rude. How do you handle these inquires, when how you were injured has absolutely no bearing on the reason you are seeking and getting care? How any of is was injured has nothing to do with the care that we need or are seeking.

    All the best,
    GJ
    Last edited by gjnl; 04-09-2012 at 01:51 PM.

  2. #2
    Of course it isn't their business. You would expect better from a medical professional.
    Your answer is perfect.

  3. #3
    I get asked the question from all types of professionals, in the healthcare industry and out. I answer them all the same, "I was in a wreck when I was 16". It doesn't bother me that they ask and I'd just as soon have them ask me and them know then they wonder but be to afraid to ask. If it is a healthcare professional that I am seeing for something related then I don't assume or think they are asking for any other reason than some banker or business owner. It doesn't hurt for them to know and I've ended up meeting some cool people, I guess I look at it more as a conversation starter for people.
    Most everything I say is

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by TexasWheelz View Post
    It doesn't bother me that they ask and I'd just as soon have them ask me and them know then they wonder but be to afraid to ask. If it is a healthcare professional that I am seeing for something related then I don't assume or think they are asking for any other reason than some banker or business owner. It doesn't hurt for them to know and I've ended up meeting some cool people, I guess I look at it more as a conversation starter for people.
    This is exactly how I feel. I would rather somebody come out and ask me rather than have to endure awkward and uncomfortable silence. I don't look at health care professionals any differently than other people who ask. I get that people are curious. I don't necessarily enjoy talking about it, especially if I am not feeling well or tired or whatever. But I find being evasive, even politely evasive, doesn't really help the situation. Whether it is anybody's business or not, people are going to ask so I just make the best of it and answer in general terms and try and move the conversation forward and hopefully away from me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it just invites more questions. If the questions are really inappropriate, which I find doesn't really happen, then I reply that I would rather not talk about it. But that is rare.

  5. #5
    Senior Member anban's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by orangejello View Post
    This is exactly how I feel. I would rather somebody come out and ask me rather than have to endure awkward and uncomfortable silence. I don't look at health care professionals any differently than other people who ask. I get that people are curious. I don't necessarily enjoy talking about it, especially if I am not feeling well or tired or whatever. But I find being evasive, even politely evasive, doesn't really help the situation. Whether it is anybody's business or not, people are going to ask so I just make the best of it and answer in general terms and try and move the conversation forward and hopefully away from me. Sometimes it works, sometimes it just invites more questions. If the questions are really inappropriate, which I find doesn't really happen, then I reply that I would rather not talk about it. But that is rare.
    I agree. But I am also fairly outgoing and have never been concerned about my privacy. That said, I'd never ask someone "the question" because I know it really bothers people. I also find talking about it almost always eradicates the pity response that actually does upset me.

  6. #6
    You remind me of some English friends of mine who react badly towards Americans who say "gee nice accent, where's it from...?" followed with "England huh? I knew someone from Belgium once, called Pete....".

    It's an excuse to talk. Its an excuse to connect. It's a bridge from them to you where you can meet in the middle, smile, hold hands and realize that we are not so different. You don't judge the quality of the bridge; just appreciate that another human being built that bridge over to where you are.

    IF you prefer to stay on your little island, then that is fine too. Just be polite about it. Because I don't want that same person to avoid building a little bridge over to meet me the next time.
    There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

  7. #7
    Senior Member tooley's Avatar
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    I absolutely hate it when people I don't know ask me what's wrong with me. Especially when that's how they start a conversation. Usually I just dead-pan "abducted by aliens" and that ends it. I find alot of ppl over 50 ask without any thought about privacy because their generation loves to talk about negative things and complain about everything.

    If someone asks after some small chit-chat I'll tell them without alot of detail because I'm still at the point where I don't want to relive it. I noticed in another thread how the OP wants to compare how we were all injured, seemingly to make himself feel superior because the cause of his is so rare. Regardless of how it happened we're all gimps.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by tooley View Post
    I noticed in another thread how the OP wants to compare how we were all injured, seemingly to make himself feel superior because the cause of his is so rare. Regardless of how it happened we're all gimps.
    I read that thread, but didn't respond. However, I did not have the same reaction to it as you did. Just an observation.

    All the best,
    GJ

  9. #9
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    i agree. i was in the e.r. for an allergic reaction and the PA that came in to treat me asked me why i was in a chair. i asked if the answer was pertinent to her treating the allergic reaction and she said no. i said "great, so lets treat this allergic reaction ty" and she kept making these pity sounds when she had to check my body to see the extent of the reaction and said "awww honey.... so many scars!!!"

    i get ppl are curious but it gets annoying
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
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  10. #10
    I have been in a chair going on 44 years and I'm worried people will stop asking why I'm in a chair. I'm afraid the day will come that they think I'm in a chair because I'm old and not because something could have happened to me lol

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