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Thread: Depression

  1. #1

    Depression

    It is going on 2 1/2 yrs. I am so sick of living like this as everyone else!

    Lately it takes everything I have to just get out of bed. All I want to do is cry, and run my car into a wall.

    If I new I would not go to hell for suicide I would do it, today!!!!!!!

    Knowing my luck, just when I would do it, they would find a cure tomorrow.

    How long to do you thing before they find a cure?

    Sorry for venting, just sick of everything!!!!!!!


  2. #2
    Hey Bullrider believe me I feel the same way, same thoughts. Hopefully it wont be too long before they find the cure. Having to live like this is not living just existing. So many things that I want to do that I use to do. But all we can do is wait. Dont feel sorry for venting I'm sure all of us feel fed up with this crap, none of us want to live like this. Just stay strong and know that this is not going to be forever.

  3. #3

    Take care because I care!

    Bullrider, hi!

    I just sent you the longest private topic message. Please read it and know you are in my prayers.

    Life gets tough sometimes...but you are tougher! Surely you haven't come this far to give up now! Keep hope alive in your heart!

    God bless you!

    Teena

    PS--go read private topic message, ok?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Schmeky's Avatar
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    Bullrider,

    This is "Dave", you lived in my apartment in Vista, CA. I understand your depression. Before SCI, I knew what it was but didn't understand it. A forum member gave me some advice about a month ago and I have since been taking an anti-depressant. I don't like taking it, but it has helped.

    Something else that helps; talking to someone that understands. Not your husband, your mother, etc., but someone like you, with SCI. If you like, call me, anytime. Just send me an e-mail and I will forward my home and cell phone numbers. It's hard bullrider, no one faults you for saying so. dmilam@jam.rr.com

  5. #5
    Senior Member glomae's Avatar
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    hi bullrider,you are not alone. it's been 4yrs for me and my kids and hope for a cure are the only thing that keep me going. i refuse to be buried in this condition. i was really low a few days ago and still am alittle blue but i'll save that topic for the life forum. hang in there dude. lol gloria

  6. #6
    Member mjhopper's Avatar
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    Aug 2003
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    Clearwater, Florida
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    It's been 5 years since my accident, I'm a T11,T12 and 56 year old female... I am very thankful to be alive... even though I have to rely on my husband to do my personal care I decided that the alternate is not worth it.. enjoy life and get yourself interested in a hobby, you are on this planet for a reason. I'm an artist and I am fortunate to have regained the use of my hands so I can continue to make art and participate in the art community.
    Please find something that you may be interested in and try to keep your mind active.
    MJ



    Originally posted by bullrider:

    It is going on 2 1/2 yrs. I am so sick of living like this as everyone else!

    Lately it takes everything I have to just get out of bed. All I want to do is cry, and run my car into a wall.

    If I new I would not go to hell for suicide I would do it, today!!!!!!!

    Knowing my luck, just when I would do it, they would find a cure tomorrow.

    How long to do you thing before they find a cure?

    Sorry for venting, just sick of everything!!!!!!!


  7. #7
    A lot of people have been feeling this way lately, I think. Full moon plus the weather changing makes pain worse, maybe? Staring down the throat of another winter after not enjoying another summer? I don't have any wise words, but hang in there, the anti-depressant advice may be good, talk to your doctor, you sound mighty down.

  8. #8
    Senior Member defiler's Avatar
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    May 2003
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    usa
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    In a world where public opinion just about dictates the way we feel, your feelings are so justified. Think though, if it weren't for opinions and others ideas would you really be upset? I am talking to you from an unbiased position. I love life so much & have a deep passion for life as I'm SURE you do. Deep down you do not want to end it as i feel the same. I'm assuming you feel illegitimate or not loved. All I can say is please, be yourself and try, try as hard as you can to ignore your insecurities. I am guilty of following my gut which leads to mass depression & sorrow. Try, try as hard as you can to let your heart be your tour guide in life. Imho/(In my honest opinion), your/my outlook on life is dictated by opinions bestowed upon us'. Peoples opinions of us seem to dictate our view on happiness. Please, please try to see with NOT your brain but with your heart what makes you happy & try to pursue it. It'll make all of the difference in the world, in your life. In my life, it is being the man i need to be for my soulmate, my absolute perfect angel. I constantly wish I could massage her neck, stroke her shoulders with a loving touch or rub her cheek with a heart fealt touch. You are blessed my friend. Not only with yes, your handicapp, but with a profound GIFT of self worth. You may not be able to cope now but pplllleeeaassseeeee trust me. As you live (in every sense of the word), you will come to realize, life is a gift, not just a tool to indulge. Happiness is not only something we all pray for but is something we ALL receive & are given NO MATTER WHAT OUR SITUATION. In time, we are given what we deserve. Bliss. If you are sincere', you will receive. Believe. Trust. Love. You are perfect in every way so long as your 'heart' is pure. Trust yourself my friend. Trust your will..... You WILL perservere.

    "Failure is impossible"

  9. #9
    Senior Member SKYCO's Avatar
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    Hey bullrider,this is Steve,we were in Ecuador together back in June 02.Hang in there,I'd give it another year.So start saving up,we'll probly have to go to another country again.E-mail me so we can keep in touch.Skyco2274@aol.com,take care it's goning to be alright.

  10. #10
    Hey Bullrider

    no arguing with you - I feel depressed myself but I don't know what advice to give

    I haven't always felt like this while in a chair - I seemed much happier when I had a job AND I was convinced a cure was coming. I'd like to get back to that situation.

    I need that cure too, Bullrider, and I don't think we're the only ones. Two questions are will a cure get us walking normally and how do we enjoy life in the meantime.

    I think defiler's right one of the problems is that society makes us feel bad about ourselves.

    Chris

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