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Thread: how to deal with ppl who don't believe the pain

  1. #31
    am interested, too. tried everything from acupuncture to western drugs, including psych counseling. hypnosis has never been suggested.

  2. #32
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gold Coast Australia
    I will concede hypnosis doesn't work for everybody... And I'm not quite sure why it worked for me. I always thought it was just a party trick. I put it up there with homeopathy. But for some reason it does. Basically how a person becomes hypnotised - If they are at least able to be - is different for everyone.

    Having no idea about neuro pain or at least until I looked it up after coming to this thread, I'm not sure if hypnosis can be used to give relief from pain that is basically 24/7. WebMD mentions it being used for chronic and acute pain so I really don't know how neuro pain fits into one of those categories.

    I had pain for close to 3 years before the doctors and I realised I needed surgery to replace a hip that had basically worn away. I was on opiates for 18 months and well and truly messed up on them until someone gave me the name of a hypnotherapist. I was in agony and hated being zonked out on opiates, so I felt I should try it.

    It took 4 or 5 sessions before the therapist had me out for the count so to speak. You hear rumours about how u dont remember these episodes of being hypnotised - It's a fallacy. You remember everything. You can even hypnotise yourself I'm not sure but I think its the same as eastern cultures' "meditiation". How it happened for me... I was cynical initially but I felt I had no choice but to persist. The therapist got me to focus on breathing then focusing on how certain parts of my body felt to the point that's all I could "sense" so to speak. Then focus on the area where the pain was, and relax it so much that you just couldn't feel it anymore, while imagining a pleasant feeling that would eventually override any feeling of pain I had to begin with, and that's what I could feel. It was surreal. Even after I woke up, the pain was still present, just pale in comparison to the feeling I imagined and now was what I felt for real.

    I just did a cursory search for hypnotherapy WebMD has a pretty good explanation. A study was done that I found while researching whether or not to try hypnosis. It convinced me.

    Here's a copy

    Hypnosis has a bad rap as being "Snake Oil treatment". I was one of those who thought it was bogus.

    Basically you can learn to hypnotise yourself. But you will most likely have to find a therapist who knows how to teach you. It's almost impossible initially because you have to find a way to "manually" get "beyond" the pain and learn to relax in spite of this to begin with.

    I know for me, I had to learn to initiate the hypnosis while I wasn't in so much pain. I would try every morning when I had just woke up. The pain was mild then.
    Last edited by Mutley; 06-09-2012 at 08:07 AM.

  3. #33
    Mutley - thanks for your explanation. Did you have your hip replaced? That should afford you with substantial relief as well.

  4. #34
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Gold Coast Australia
    I had the hip replaced twice... The second time I needed it was the result of a rather severe assault. After both surgeries I was told full recovery would be a matter of months... Both times, recovery was only a matter of weeks... I'm incomplete so i regained all the strength I had previous to troubles beginning fairly quickly... Still get sore from time to time but no where near the kind of pain prior to surgery. I've had a few other broken bones through and other things that have caused me quite a lot of pain and used hypnosis quite effectively for that as well...

    I remember dislocating a shoulder and I was pretty much able to hypnotise myself instantly... I hit the ground pretty hard and lay motionless for a minute while i concentrated getting rid of the pain and snapped out of it like nothing had happened. The guys I was with picked me up by my arms to help me back into my wheelchair and the realised what had happened. They were like "Holy Crap!!!! Sorry I didnt know man" referring to the pain I would have been in because of the dislocated shoulder. The arm was 3 inches or so longer than the other so there was definately something wrong. I went to the doctor and had it relocated and rested it a few days.

  5. #35
    Hey cass, my wife's brother had a motorcycle accident a few years back and has constant pain. He struggles a bit when his cycle of morphine patches gets messed up, his struggles with getting anyone to believe him is also hard on him.

    My wife's family gives him little sympathy, they live in small town and have small town prejudices, its a wonder he is still alive.

    He is tough going though, i've tried relating to him with my disability but his quite negative self loathing and yet massive ego prevents me from really wanting to know him. My wife does her best but her family are just really hard to want to be around. So we just look after our own family and everyday issues we have.
    "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

  6. #36
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    east o the southern warren
    some folks don't want to get it. It isn't worth the effort it takes to convince someone who wants to believe you are faking. Thankfully I have only met two people face to face, who accused me of such, I did not defend myself, I felt not a bit of need to ether. one was my sister, the other was the Disability judge who appointed two neurologists to discount my case. she was so pissed to have to grant me disability. the exams were very long, tiring and pretty thorough.

    My sister has her own shitty shit. she couldn't think of anything meaner to do at the time, but I happened to know who faked what and when, and the knowing on my part sucks but it must suck much worse for her so.......

    and some people here have said they think im a faker.
    Again, I don't feel any need to change that. They have never met me, and there is not a bone in my body that grieves at their misbelieves.

    Don't let it rent any space in your head. The only people who need to know you are not any kind of faker, are your Dr's.

  7. #37
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    east o the southern warren
    Quote Originally Posted by NikkiMaya View Post

    I really hear you! This can be one of the most difficult aspects of living with chronic pain. I have struggled with it for a long time. I don't have a spinal cord injury. I have an undiagnosed disease that started at age nine, causing serve chronic pain and other symptoms like spasticity, contractures, and muscle spasms. Now nineteen years later it has progressed so much that I use a wheelchair full time. When you are undiagnosed, it is so frustrating because there is no source to point to as the cause of the pain, leaving some to doubt.

    Just this week I went for a diagnostic evaluation at Massachusetts General Hospital in the Department of Neurology. The doctor I saw was very unsympathetic and didn't want to do any testing to look for the origin of the problem. I was left with a general feeling that he thought it was psychological.

    The conclusion that I have come to, is that I will never be able to satisfy some people, they will always doubt the pain I have. I just have to know that their assessment of me and my pain is unimportant at the end of the day, as long as they are not involved in making medical decisions that affect my life. As long as my immediate family and my friends support and believe in me, that is all that matters. I don't owe anyone explanations, and if someone tries to put me down or make me feel like this is somehow not real or is my fault, I don't need to waste my time on them.

    I do really commiserate with you as you have unsupportive relatives and it sounds like you have to be in contact with them. I truly feel that some people can never be convinced, and it might be a waste of time trying to prove your truly legitimate case to them. You know in your heart that you are suffering, and although their validation and support would be wonderful, if it never comes, hopefully you can find it in other places. We all need support after all!

    As for resources to explain chronic pain and awareness you could look to the American Chronic Pain Association: I'm not super impressed with what they have up on their website but they do have some resources online that might be helpful to offer family members. You could also look on or another book seller and try a search like "chronic pain, family." You will get some results mixed in with many books on chronic pain, for dealing with chronic pain and family issues, something there might be helpful. I hope you find a resource somewhere in there that you can use!
    Iv seen two neurologist like that, one changed his mind after his exam, the other had examined me the night of my accident, and later when I had a seizure while in the hospital. I saw him about five years after my accident too when the disability judge appointed two neurologists to discount my claim for benefits. he Said He didnt think My problems were from an accident, and that he thought I had Ms, while the other also mentioned Ms as well as noting a birth defect which I had not indicated in my claim. He did not mention he had examined me in the past.

    later I saw a Dr for this incredible belly pain, and when she couldnt find a cause, she said I should see a head Dr about my incredible belly pain. eventually I ended up seeing her again. she said if she ever saw me again complaining about my belly, she was going to write a letter to all my Dr, and have me put into building 5o. Well she did write a letter to my Gp. He had known me about 15 years. On the followup, he came in looking at my open file, and said with a smile, while shaking his head, you dont think its in your head do you? I said no, do you? almost to tears, no, He smacked my head with the file in a playful way, and said don't worry. we would keep looking for the problem.
    Besides the accident, there was a divorce, several deaths, two fires, and an assault, and now this incredible pain. obviously I was seeing someone about my mental health, and My Gp knew it. My whole family was. none of them thought I was crazy, or imagining my belly pain, except that one Dr. I kinda got the impression My Gp thinks she is the kook from his expression.

    Id just go see another neurologist that will examine you properly.

  8. #38
    Im sorry I dont have any resources. Just know I completely understand how you are feeling. None of my doctors believe I am in agonizing pain, my family doesnt believe it, Ive actually had a few medical residence tell me I was addicted to drugs and needed to go to a drug rehab. This was ammusing since I have stopped taking any/all pain meds since they do nothing.

    Just know I completely understand..... I wish I could be of more help

    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  9. #39
    I want to help you. If you are interested, private message me.

  10. #40
    hey jody, you sound like you've been through the wringer, just because you said you have pain...why are people so frigging skeptical of others pain?

    I am grateful everyday that my condition has no real pain involved.

    You deserve respect for being able to function with debilitating pain, not derision and disbelief from those who should know better.
    "The problem with self improvement is knowing when to quit." "Diamond" David Lee Roth.

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