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Thread: i wish somehow we can all reach a place we want to be

  1. #1

    i wish somehow we can all reach a place we want to be

    i have no idea where that is for anybody, least of all me. but when i envision it, i'm back at work, pain is at least controlled, i can eat again w/o being up all night...in short, each waking moment is not one of pain that i'm just enduring. i don't care that much if still paralyzed.

    what do you want?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    Yeah I want to be without constant pain. And I want to be able to travel and stay with my son and grand kids in London but they live in a 2 story house with upstairs bathroom.
    And visit friends but none of their houses are accessible.
    And gardening and dancing and.......the list is long.

  3. #3
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    Right there with you. After all these decades with paralysis walking is not a primary goal, which is probably just as well because I can not imagine that being a possibility even if there was a cure tomorrow. Too long for me, but pain management would be fantastic. Like partygirl I get sick of either having to have people at my place or meet in some public place. I have friends that I have had for such a long time and have never seen the inside of their homes. That even those who could change that with a simple temporary ramp have never thought in those terms is also sad to me.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Eileen View Post
    I have friends that I have had for such a long time and have never seen the inside of their homes. That even those who could change that with a simple temporary ramp have never thought in those terms is also sad to me.
    Hi "Eileen,"
    I don't know if this is something that would be feasible for you to do, but have you considered buying your own portable ramps to take to the homes of friends when you visit. Now, they won't get you into every home, but I use a folding 6 foot aluminum ramp and a folding 3 foot aluminum ramp and get into many of my friends' homes ramping exterior steps. The short one works well to get into sunken living rooms. My friends are more than happy to take the ramps out of my van and place them for me. I have the ramps bungee corded on a heavy duty luggage carrier and it works great.

    PS: Every time I see your avitar, it makes me smile.

    All the best,
    GJ

  5. #5
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I'm getting what I want.

    I'm headed back to work on Monday - only part-time hours to start (but full-pay because of our insurance back-to-work rehab program). I am awfully lucky that we have excellent insurance - I was able to stay off for an entire year and return and still be praised as a valuable employee, beyond the full time pay I'll return to now (it's been 75% since July 2011).

    Part of me feels terrible - there are families out there in the food lines at the mission and I was able to stay off for a full year and then return in this economy which is poised to get worse ... but I did put 12 years in.

    The one thing that I learned while being off was how depressed I became because I had nothing to do. No family to 'buffer' the uselessness I felt (but shouldn't have). No hobbies. No other interests.

    As soon as my doc said I could go back in Toronto on Wednesday, something changed and I've been more energetic and all those little aches and pains are gone. I owe my brother and my retirement savings thousands ... but I really do need to find a hobby. As soon as possible, I'm investing in a heavy bag and speedy bag for boxing lessons at $45 ... at least I can get some frustrations out.

    It's so hard when you define yourself by your work accomplishments. What you've done is amazing Cass .. and all on your own. I couldn't have done it and I'm lucky to have functioning arms/hands. Somehow, you've got to come to peace with that and own it.

    And I'm going back to work AND taking oxy for pain meds .. I need it at night to sleep or I can't. Better living through chemicals. If pot gets legalized here (the liberals are whispering about this again), I'll switch to that.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #6
    I hear you, Cass. I wish that for you and more.

    Lynnifer, no need to feel guilty about your benefits and pay while on medical. I'm grateful you had those and still do. I wish those in food lines had the same. I cannot change what they don't have, but I can help out by volunteering, by sharing what I have.

    Have you thought about volunteering as a hobby? Playing that piano? What activity blisses you out? Follow what has given you the most contentment, creativity, sense of community, the most pleasure and happiness. If it is something you love, make it yours.

    For me, I wish for a more accessible community, more sunshine. I say that and know I have friends here I'll never have anywhere else in the world. I also have a best girlfriend who lives states away in Texas and family scattered throughout the U.S. Is my life always meant to be here or would another more accessible, literally sunnier environ be better? I feel the pull most strongly in Winter.

  7. #7
    I would like to have days without constant pain and to be able to return to work.

  8. #8
    I'll use my wish toward you guys and gals being pain free too.
    And the truth shall set you free.

  9. #9
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by faceplant View Post
    I would like to have days without constant pain and to be able to return to work.
    I'm sorry. I need to be more mindful .. I was just so excited to go back because I wondered if it would be even possible for a while there. Here is something I just wrote to my father and I'll share it: As soon as I got the news, all the little aches and pains I was having seemed to go away, although my voice is still whacked. It's a horrible thing to define your esteem by what you do and I've seen so many disabled who work do it .. because when you can't do it anymore then you feel like you are no one and that's an awful place to be. The thing missing for me is my own family and I totally blame David for wasting those precious years - selfish cowardly bastard but I'm not bitter!!! I need to find a hobby for when/if that should ever happen again because I have really been feeling sorry for myself since the summer. It was almost unbearable and many times I thought about ending it. How silly that seems now that I have purpose again.

    I wish I knew how to cure pain. I only had it here/there over the past year and was a huge sucky whiner about it!

    And thanks for the encouragement LaMem. It helps.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  10. #10
    Congrats Lynnifer......and insurance like you have should be a given no matter where you work! My employers had none.....then the last few years had health insurance. I hear he's back to none now. And I do understand how hard it is to cover employees......the cost is outrageous!

    I would be happy to use my hands again so I could do my job. Get rid of the nueropathy that cripples me more than the spinal cord injury!

    It's true.....my life was so wrapped up in my work.....I felt/feel like nobody. Like I'm invisable now. I was so independent! Now I can't even go to the store without making an appt with my son! I don't know what I'm going to do when he's out of school......

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