Per the American Mental Health Association (I think that's the name), one of the primary symptoms of depression in men is irritability. Do take that into account when your husband says something cruel.
TM 2004 T12 incomplete
I knew when I wrote that I would be slammed by someone. I choose to take care of my husband because I love him, I cherish him, I would do anything for him. It's not me he is mad at its the disease. He has good moments and he has bad ones too! I have told him I don't appreciate being talked to or treated that way and he agrees he was wrong and shouldn't have been that way, but then there's always the next time something sets him off. It is my job to take care of him now that he can't do it himself. And it is a JOB, as many of the caregivers here will agree. There is no funding for outside help, we have been to professional counselors, etc. etc. etc. Now if he was physically abusing me it would be different. Yes I realize verbal abuse is abuse as well, but when I am dealing with a depressed person under the influence of prescription medicine and MS which effects the brain that is something I am going to get from time to time. I have learned to accept that as heartbreaking as it is, I know my husband loves me and would not treat me that way if we weren't dealing with this. This thread it not about me however.
It must be really hard to be a wife and the primary caregiver, I give you all so much credit.
Your post peacegirl is so gripping, it's obvious you are also afraid. I amsure he is too and it is a difficult thing to talk about. We do hurt the ones we love and maybe sometimes we don't realize how mean we may sound. We (I know I am) are still angry at our situation.
It is not right to put up with abuse and verbal words can be emotionally damaging, not to mention once said you can't take them back.
So wishing there was a reverse button for this SCI or any disease that ruins your life.
JeAnNE L1Burst Fracture inc. 11/5/10
Live Well--Laugh often
I have talked to him about coming here to talk about things, but said maybe later after somethings happen, what ever that means to him, to me its here and happening now not later, i look at him but i don't see him sometimes he is deeply depressed, i just want to know im doing everything possible for him. i know everyone here is right he shouldn't be mean all i have ever done was try to be here, and make him feel loved no matter what, seems i do need to try to take care of myself also just hard to do, i was thinking it would get better but i guess he has to want it also, may need to try that tuff love! i do realize he is depressed waiting on the other shoe to fall. I am afraid, I have tried to talk to him, even talked to drs with him but doesnt seem to last long, thanks all for advice.
Last edited by Peacegirl_11; 12-30-2011 at 01:53 AM.