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Thread: Please help...parents want to put me in a nursing home

  1. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by skippy13 View Post

    She is on SSI.
    I don't mean to be insensitive to that. I understand the limitations. My point is that Mandy finds herself in a situation where her father, mother and step father are backing away from caring for her and providing a place to live. She is justifiably unhappy about that and while maybe I didn't say it well, I am trying to encourage her to think about a future. Her father, mother and step father won't be around forever and at age 24 she needs to consider that. I know a few people with disabilities who were once on SSI and are now living independently. It can be done. You have to seek out resources, help and guidance. I'm not discounting the hurdles she faces. At the very least this live in rehab experience may help her reach her parents and try working something out with them.


  2. #12
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  3. #13
    Senior Member CurvySAT05's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Southern California
    I was admitted to the local hospital today after hours in the ER. My parents dropped me off knowing that as a "pain patient" with a low fever (99.6 in ER) they would want to give me a dose of pain meds and wheel me back out to the car. The nurse practitioner that I saw was p*ssed that my parents had dropped me at the door and wouldn't come get me. He said a lot of things, but he said that not having the ability to sleep in my house, use the shower, cook etc. was not his problem (which I know, but I can't get where I need to go until I have been inpatient here for 3 days). He called the hospital social worker (who wasn't good for much), adult protective services (who basically said she has a medical problem and is NOT being abused, what do you expect us to do? Come put her in motel 6? That's not what we do. Call the police.) the local police came and said this is not a criminal matter, it is a civil matter and a medical case. Both APS and the PD thought I needed to be right where I was (my parents welcomed the PD in to the house and showed them the living situation I had with the decrease in mobility and they were definitely in agreement that with the pain, fever and inability to ambulate I needed to be in the hospital).
    It was hard to get a doctor to admit me, but a doc finally agreed to admit me and has been great. He said we will start working on a transfer to Casa Colina on Monday so that I can get the intense PT/OT that I need while there. I definitely need to be in a place like Casa where they are experts at SCI care. I have done most of my outpatient PT there so I am very comfortable with their ability.
    I finally got to my room after 8:00 was able to get a sandwich tray from maternity since dinner was already over. PT is gonna come start working with me tomorrow and I hope that I will regain my lost mobility soon!
    I need to get off and try to sleep. Pat I will call you later. My mOm is supposed to bring my computer tomorrow if the hospital has Internet connection. That will make it easier to respond to some earlier posts.
    Thanks for everyone's help and support!
    SCI as a result of spinal surgery
    TiLite Aero Z!!!

  4. #14
    Senior Member ~Lin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Indianapolis, IN
    wow what a tough day! I was in a very similar situation in 09. No one can make you do anything against your will unless you sign over power of attorney, so I would recommend never doing that unless you can completely trust the person.

    my dad and stepmom tried to get me admitted to a long term facility, and when I refused they tried to get me to sign over POA claiming it was so they could do my disability application for me (POA is not required for that.) And a couple months before this, a friend abandoned me in the ER when the hospital wouldn't admit me! They eventually did. After the issue with my dad and stepmom, I was discharged from where I was and admitted to a different hospital. When I got out, I moved in with a friend to 'get back on my feet' since I was unwelcome at the parents place and unable to live alone even if I could afford it. You CAN and will get through this! So hang in there. Check out the resources suggested here. Even if things have to get worse before they get better, they will get better!

    oh, and I was 24 when that happened to me as well! 26 now.
    Board Member of Assistance Dog Advocacy Project working in Education. Feel free to ask me any service dog questions!

    I am not paralyzed. I have a genetic connective tissue disorder with neuro complications and a movement disorder.

  5. #15
    Oh Mandy, what an ordeal. I can't imagine how you must feel.
    Things may be going your direction now and I'm rooting for you sweetie.

  6. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Fithian, IL
    This is just heartbreaking, but I hope and pray everything works out for the best.

  7. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Rochester, NY
    this is just.... there are no words!!! while ig et your parents feelings i still don't get why they chose now of all times to pull this on you! i am glad you're in a place you can get care. i hope the casa folks can sort out a living situation for you.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"

  8. #18
    Stay strong girl. This may be the best thing to happen to you. You'll finally get the pt/ot you need and start living your life as it was meant to be. Don't become a victum to this, make the choice that this is a stepping stone. As for your parents ..... it will go full circle on them. I'm sure God has a special place and it's not with him. Just out of curiosity, are your parents church going people?

    Now is the time to trust that everything is in it's rightful place and you will be okay.

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by CurvySAT05 View Post
    My mom said that she worries about me all day when she is at work, that I don't have what I need, that I can't get lunch (which I have been managing fine), that I might fall (which since I am not standing is not a worry of mine), that there might be a knock on the door that I can't get (we have stairs that lead to the door), etc.
    Your mother is a moron. Who's getting the door if you aren't there? No one. It's a moot point.

    I, too, lived a lot like you did from 1997 to 2005. I was injured in surgery, we lived in a two-story, and my bedroom was in the living room. With use of your arms, the suggestion for a nursing home is ludicrous.

  10. #20
    Mandy, use the resources at Casa such as social service to help you change your living situation. Don't leave any stones unturned. It is a struggle but in the end you will be better off.
    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @

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