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Thread: New gal here

  1. #31
    [QUOTE=PhoenixFiresky;
    BTW, I met my first husband at that school. Everyone had been apologizing to me all day, and I was ready to murder the next person who apologized for something that was my fault. I didn't look, and accidentally crashed into his legs with my footrest. Hard. HE apologized (bad timing!) and I replied "That's fine. I'll let it go this time. But DON'T let it happen again!" He saw the humor, asked me out, and a romance was born. Not every guy is dismissive of a gal on wheels![/QUOTE]


    Nice story!! first husband aye..you sound like me! I met my "first" at college too..UM to be exact lo!
    "The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda

  2. #32
    Thanks. I think I'm just still in the "how the heck am I going to adapt" mode. I mean, it's a complete 180 degree shift for me to be sitting all the time.

    I know in time I'll adapt, but it just seems that every day brings new frustrations. Beyond the fact that it takes me well over an hour to get dressed, I'm also dealing with the fact that I live in a city (at least until I go back to school) that is very much a "walking" city. I never had to pay attention to things like high curbs and how I'm going to get from point a to point b without elevators to get on the subway, etc. On Monday, I was out and it started raining - It's impossible to hold an umbrella while wheeling, so I wound up getting soaked. It was SOOO depressing.

    Everyone close to me has been incredibly supportive, which is an unbelievable help, but I want to move beyond the frustration phase to the "I need to adapt and move on phase" - The problem is it's so hard to do.




    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixFiresky View Post
    I remember a couple of years after I was
    diagnosed. (Birth defect that would eliminate walking) Like you, I was very physically active. I was 17, trying to start community college, my legs were super-painful and I was totally frusterated by having to haul them around with me when they were relatively useless. I actually spent a couple of months insisting I just wanted them amputated so they wouldn't hurt, I was so mad! Eventually, I found out what effects leg amputation has on the rest of the body and discovered it really wasn't such a hot idea...and I learned to live with it. And to raise a son who is not, I am pleased to say, intimidated by wheelchairs at all. I think the frusteration and anger is something we all have to go through. But the operative word is "through" because we also have to avoid getting stuck in it so we can come out the other side - where life can still be pretty darn good. If you get
    stuck, you still get all the cr*p, but you miss out on the fun parts.

    You'll get there, I think. It just takes time.

    BTW, I met my first husband at that school. Everyone had been apologizing to me all day, and I was ready to murder the next person who apologized for something that was my fault. I didn't look, and accidentally crashed into his legs with my footrest. Hard. HE apologized (bad timing!) and I replied "That's fine. I'll let it go this time. But DON'T let it happen again!" He saw the humor, asked me out, and a romance was born. Not every guy is dismissive of a gal on wheels!

  3. #33
    Senior Member Domosoyo's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome....so much good info here, not to mention it is nice to hang with people that get what you are going through.

  4. #34
    Always have one of those ponchos handy.
    CWO

  5. #35
    I know what you mean. My husband commented once that he doesn't see me as being "disabled" - just as being "inconvenienced". I told him I thought that "inconvenienced" was a pretty d**n good definition of being disabled in my book!

    I can't help much with the frusteration, unfortunately. But there are a couple of wheelchair umbrella holders out there to keep you dry, at least. Here's one I think is cool - unfortunately, it's a bit pricey:

    http://www.newdisability.com/wheelchairumbrella.htm

    I'm right there with you about the rain. I hate it. It always makes me think the gods are spitting on me - or worse. :-p

  6. #36
    I am MS, but I wanted to welcome you. Don't know if I can be helpful but there are so many members who will be a great resource for you. My daughter's name is Jillian too, so of course I think your name is beautiful I wish you all the best.
    Best Regards,
    Minnie

  7. #37
    Hey Jillian,

    Welcome to the site. I'm sorry about your accident. I actually just joined a few days ago as well. I'm a T11 Incomplete para from SoCal. The injury happened four months ago when my friend fell asleep at the wheel. I'm 20 so I'm sure there will be some things that we can talk about that will crisscross.

    I see that you're returning to school and I'd like you to know that I will be making that transition as well next month at UC Irvine. A friend of mine who was injured in her 2nd year of college at UCLA also had to make this adjustment and from what I've heard... it's not easy. As intimidating as it may be though, I'm sure you know that it'll pay off in the end so keep your spirits up!

    I understand your 180 degree turn very well- as many of us do- and I can only say how great it is to know that your attitude is right on track!

    The eye level thing is such a trip... I know. I'm 6'0ft so being in the chair has changed my perspective of the world- literally. I think it'll be easier to accept once we're back in school.

    NYC must be pretty harsh 'cause yeah- I heard it isn't very wheelchair friendly... but there are people advocating for us everyday so it'll get better (I don't know if you've heard about the handicapped taxi's thing going around).

    Anyhow, I'm glad that you have a great attitude about this whole thing. I know it's hard sometimes but, hang in there buddy.

    Also- I don't mean to get all research-y but, there are clinical trials going on for stem cells in humans to treat spinal cord injury. It'll be a matter of time before they find something that'll make us able to use our lower extremities. It gives me something to look forward to so I hope you can also find comfort in it. The guy who is doing the research is at UC Irvine so I'll be keeping an eye on him for sure.

  8. #38
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    Welcome Jillian!

    No way to say that paralysis is a good thing, but I've got no problem telling you that it's not a circumstance that will prevent you from having a spectacular life. Don't worry about bouts of frustration, self doubt, self pity, sadness or grief. You would be a weirdo if you didn't have some of those emotions. But with the spark you obviously carry, there will be so very many more good times than bad.

    It takes a while to stop comparing life "as is" to "the way it should have been". Truthfully, those comparisons never stop completely. But in that mix is a whole spectrum of worse possibilities of "what might have been". It is what it is, and you are going to continue to be amazing.

    When you get back to UM, give me a shout if you ever get a desire to come down to the Keys. I must say that it's a lot easier to be a warm weather wheeler on flat ground.
    Foolish

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

  9. #39
    I don't know how you'll feel about it, but one thing I read that has helped me avoid feeling sorry foe myself was written by a Zen master, I think. He said that when things go "wrong" in our lives, instead of asking "Why me?" it leads to a better frame of mind to ask ourselves "Why NOT me?" instead.

    When I get really frusterated, I ask myself "Why not me?". Then I take a deep breath, and focus really hard on only thinking about what I'm trying to accomplish right in that moment.

    I don't know if that'll help you - everybody is different - it's just something I find useful.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixFiresky View Post
    When I get really frusterated, I ask myself "Why not me?".

    I don't know if that'll help you - everybody is different - it's just something I find useful.
    Sounds like good advice. Next time I'm feeling "why me?"about something, I'll instead ask myself "why not PhoenixFiresky?".
    Foolish

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

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