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Thread: Am I being sensitive? Feeling segregated.

  1. #11
    People are weird. I have had one woman sit and talk with me and then move when the game started. I can see well from where I sit, but usually get hit with a ball a few times a season.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

  2. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by addiesue View Post
    I have the same problem. At the basketball games I have to sit to the side or in a little cut out section. The people I know say hi and then keep going on down the bleachers or up high. I always sit alone.
    I always get the start of the bleacher were you come in he doors......people always going by you cant see chit so after about 5 minutes I left and asked for my money back.....had a hard time getting it back but did....told them why to and how to fix it but they never did....what even pissed me off more is I played there and was a starter back in my day......last time I ever went.

    My boys did not play so not a big deal.....they got a nice football place tho....if its not to cold out.
    Seems like you feel your not wanted there......which hurts the most.

    Art
    Art

  3. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by LindaT View Post
    It sounds like Emi has been involved, she would just like people to sit with her since the view is the same. Seems reasonable to me.
    Yes, I participate in the fundraisers, say hi in the dressing room, compliment their kids...then wheel down to my section. I just dont see why they all sit on the left when I'm on the right. it seems rude. but whatever.
    Emily, C-8 sensory incomplete mom to a 8 year old and a preschooler. TEN! years post.

  4. #14
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    Your feelings are spot on. I think I would just go in there next time with a plastered on smile and say "Hey, feeling a little alone at this end. Why don't you join me!" Maybe they are just obtuse.

  5. #15
    It is not an excuse, but sometimes I wonder if people just don't know any better.
    Is there any parent that you have known well enough to mention it to?

  6. #16
    Senior Member brucec's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LindaT View Post
    It is not an excuse, but sometimes I wonder if people just don't know any better.
    Is there any parent that you have known well enough to mention it to?
    yep, probably one of those stupid things
    ""gosh we don't know, we've just always sat at that end""
    We must reject the idea that every time a law's broken, society is guilty rather than the lawbreaker. It is time to restore the American precept that each individual is accountable for his actions.
    Ronald Reagan

  7. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by brucec View Post
    yep, probably one of those stupid things
    ""gosh we don't know, we've just always sat at that end""
    Exactly. Stupid, but logical to them. And again, not making excuses Emi. You have every right to feel the way you do.

  8. #18
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    The reality is that the group (any group) does not feel comfortable being around a cripple. I doubt that they even know it. I get it all of the time at school. I have been in the department for 13 years, and have some pretty good friends who are always happy to stop and chat, invite me to lunch, etc. When the group goes anywhere that there is only a small area that is accessible, I get semi-abandoned in that area. It used to bug me, but I know that it is more of a herd instinct than a slight, so I just let it slide.
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

  9. #19
    Senior Member Rrrrronnn's Avatar
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    Can you start to take note on who you might have a greater rapport with? A few who seem warmer/accepting when you do chat. Then maybe once that's further established, you can lightheartedly say "Hey, maybe I'll see you down at my end, the view is the same and I took a good shower today!" You know, maybe an icebreaker will help them get that 'oh yea' moment.

    It's unfortunate that in addition us having to deal with our disability, we have to be the one to initiate social interaction to help rid the uncertain feeling many AB have on socializing with us, but if we don't then we often end up alone in group gatherings.
    .
    "If ya don't have it in the hips, ya better have it in the lips..." ~ Charlie - Villa Dulce

  10. #20
    It is always like this though. I am not ever sure what to do about it. When I was in school I had the same group of girls that we had class with once a week for over a year. After class they all went out the door not far from the classroom. I would go around to the ramp and come out by the same door. Noone ever thought to go out with me. Once I said to a girl, come this way you can see what the ramped door is like, kind of joking around. She did, but just that once. It can be a very isolating thing at times, this stupid chair.
    If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


    Sometimes it is easier to widen doors than it is to open minds.

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