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Thread: Trouble with my daughters para pro

  1. #1
    Senior Member Robynbird569's Avatar
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    Trouble with my daughters para pro

    It has been awhile since I have been to this site since I have recently moved. And upon this moving I have had to switch schools and my daughter (C5-C7) has a new para pro to assist her with her needs at school. I have had nothing but problems with this para pro. I have expected there would be some complicated moments being she has never dealt with a paraplegic child. (my daughter functions at a T11-L1) but it has been hell and only getting worse.
    The problem we are having is with bowel care. My daughter normally has bowel movements here at home, but sometimes she will have to go at school, like after gym class when she is moving more or after therapy. At first she was told to sit on a mat and go which she felt so totally uncomfortable when she can easily be put on a toilet with assistance and supervision. So I had to go to the school and got that corrected. Secondly, her para pro doesnt want anything to do with her bowel care. She feels it is disgusting and that she thinks I am hallucinating and getting my daughter to hallucinate about how important it is that when she has to go she needs the help to go. Sometimes it requires messaging her bottom or stimulation to relax her to go. I get upset when she comes home from school all sweaty and her heart is pounding and she has a headache. She says she has been this way for like the last 3 hours of school and her para pro refuses to help her. I have been to the school and took brochers about the possiblilty of AD and the importance of a bowel care. Still the para pro refuses.
    I dont feel this para pro is qualified to be an aide for a disabled child. Apparently she use to work as a prison guard and all she barks is "respect" towards her. She has my daughter afraid to speak when she needs help. Hell, she wont even let my daughter ask the teacher a question about assignments. She is like a drill sargent.
    I know there are people who dont understand what is required to care for a disabled person. But I have never come across anyone who makes it out like its all a crock of shit. I am going to notify the school again about this and demand a new para pro. I feel there should be some sort of medical training and understanding when it comes to caring for a disabled person. My question is, should I get an advocate involved and how do I go about finding one. I have looked in the phone book but I havent seen a listing for one. I am so tired of fighting this alone, plus when I get so angry I tend to stutter then I cant get my point across.
    Thank you


    Stay safe my son. See you around thanksgiving!

  2. #2
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    i'm not sure what a para pro is but i'd get a lawyer if i were you. your daughter's life is at stake if her aide is allowing her to have AD by purposefully not helping her with her bowel program.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
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  3. #3
    Senior Member djrolling's Avatar
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    It would seem that your daughter would be responsible for her own BP, maybe some assistance with getting on the toilet but after that point she should really be doing everything on her own given her level of injury and how long she has been injured. It does sound like this "Para Pro' is in the wrong job but I do not think at this point your daughter should still need help from another person moving her bowels. If she is not at that point then you need to try and get her to that point asap, but it sounds like that person is not the right person for the job they are in IMO

  4. #4
    Senior Member Robynbird569's Avatar
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    Thank you for the replies. Crypt, a para pro is someone whom the school assigns to assist my daughter with her needs while in school.
    dj, I understand your point but you totally dont understand her injury. She has only strength on one side. Her right arm and hand is damaged from her injury. She can move it but no strength. We are working at how she can take more control of her own needs and care now that she is getting older and can comprehend how to do things. But the point is Charna, my daughter should have someone who isnt going to demean her and assist her if the case may be.


    Stay safe my son. See you around thanksgiving!

  5. #5
    Senior Member djrolling's Avatar
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    Sorry I did not understand, is that with all people with her injury level or is it unique to her injury? I do agree that the person that is supposed to be helping your daughter is failing and someone more suited to what her needs are should be assigned to her. If that person worked as a prison guard then they probably need to go back to that or do something in law enforcement, not work with kids...IMO

  6. #6
    Senior Member Robynbird569's Avatar
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    Thank you dj. I cant compare her to others with injuries in her level. As a therapist once told me, she techincally classified as a quad, but functions at a paraplegic level. They say when she was shot in the throat area the bullet angled down and damaged some say her spine and some say just right of her spine. Cant get a definate on account they dont want to do an MRI for fear bullet fragments may be in there. So I just go with hopes of it not damaged her spine and work with her and do the best with what is before us.
    I did go up to the school this morning, the principle wasnt in for me to talk to about this situation. I am waiting for him to call me. Kind of a blessing for now I can calm down a bit and get my composure. I am going to request she step down from assisting my daughter. There are other things that this para pro has done that I need to bring to their attention, the bowel assistance was the main thing.


    Stay safe my son. See you around thanksgiving!

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by crypticgimp View Post
    i'm not sure what a para pro is but i'd get a lawyer if i were you. your daughter's life is at stake if her aide is allowing her to have AD by purposefully not helping her with her bowel program.
    Yeah, I'd think a call to the local ACLU might even be worthwhile.


  8. #8
    The para pro is definitely not the right person for your daughter. That being said, once you get a new person, I would strongly encourage you and your daughter sit down and explain her injury, her care needs, and what your daughters' goals are. I think that would be a god way to start the relationship. I strongly encourage you to include your daughter in this since she is the one who this person will be working with.CKF

  9. #9
    My son is a para, injured less than 2 years ago, T4. He went back to school full time last Sept, 6 months after his injury. He is on a regular bowel program, NEVER does it at school. Seems it would be best for your daughter to do her BP in the morning or afternoon when she gets home. We have never used a "para pro" but really my son would never want one, he is extremely independent and I know everyone is not that way. Regardless, for your daughters piece of mind, dignity and privacy I would get her on a strict schedule of home BPs and forget about using anyone else for that. Especially the ex prison guard! YIKES!!!

  10. #10
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    Unless your school system is different from ours, the para is paid slightly over minimum wage. So you aren't likely to get someone with any medical training. That said, you still need to ask for someone else, if just for the attitude this woman has towards your daughter. I hope you get this figured out soon.
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

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