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Thread: Top Ten Good Things about being Paralyzed and Ventilator-Dependent for Life

  1. #1

    Top Ten Good Things about being Paralyzed and Ventilator-Dependent for Life

    10. Want Darth Vader breathing sounds for your Halloween costume? Check!
    9. No one forces you to get up and do the Chicken Dance at weddings.
    8. Weird medical equipment frightens away most idiots.
    7. You get to play "Stump the Intern" every time you visit the hospital.
    6. Cats love sleeping on your ventilator.
    5. You have the perfect gimmick for a heavy metal band: Iron Lung.
    4. Trachs are the most badass piercings in existence. Top that, punks!
    3. You meet the most interesting people! Engineers and roboticists stop you on the street to admire your wheelchair.
    2. You save money on handcuffs.

    and the number one good thing about being completely paralyzed and ventilator-dependent for life:

    1. If you find love in the world, you know it will be true.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
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    I'm not a vent user so I feel a little guilty laughing at these, but they are really funny!

  3. #3
    that was well done! you could make serious money as a comedic writer..) of course number one was the clincher...to the heart. Wit, sense of humor, and heart.. winning!
    "The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda

  4. #4
    Senior Member flying's Avatar
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    Funny, You got to love good humor
    T12L1 Incomplete Still here This is the place to be 58 years old

  5. #5
    Senior Member Prerun's Avatar
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    Funny!

  6. #6
    My favorite is #7. The doctors (where we live at least) don't know quite what to do with my husband.
    Even a ENT freaked out when he spasmed and told us we would have to come back when he "feels better." We wanted to try downsizing his trach.
    I end up telling them SCI info while I grit my teeth that an idiot like me knows more than they do.
    Good list!

  7. #7
    Linda, I get that even here in New York City where we supposedly have the best doctors. And then they call in their colleagues, and then they call in the head of the department, and soon I've got a crowd of doctors gawping and poking at me. Exciting consternation and dismay wherever I go...

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