10. Want Darth Vader breathing sounds for your Halloween costume? Check!
9. No one forces you to get up and do the Chicken Dance at weddings.
8. Weird medical equipment frightens away most idiots.
7. You get to play "Stump the Intern" every time you visit the hospital.
6. Cats love sleeping on your ventilator.
5. You have the perfect gimmick for a heavy metal band: Iron Lung.
4. Trachs are the most badass piercings in existence. Top that, punks!
3. You meet the most interesting people! Engineers and roboticists stop you on the street to admire your wheelchair.
2. You save money on handcuffs.

and the number one good thing about being completely paralyzed and ventilator-dependent for life:

1. If you find love in the world, you know it will be true.