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Thread: Doom, despair, and agony on me...

  1. #1

    Doom, despair, and agony on me...

    Deep dark depression, excessive misery!
    If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
    Doom, despair and agony on me.

    Ups and downs.

    I'm on zoloft, feeling much better. Justin brought Steve's motorcycle over yesterday, we discussed strategies to sell it. I persuaded him to return it to his own garage; it's not smart to tempt Jake.

    Jus made it 5 miles before the bike broke down. $100 to tow back to my house.

    Today, I awoke energized. Gathered all 8! titles of shit that needs to be transferred to my name, so I can sell them. Bundled death certs, proofs of insurance, letter of executorship. Accessed the least accessible tag agency in the world-was told my letters of executorship are incorrect. Have never found title to motorcycle..

    So I have to call my douchebag lawyer. He's already been paid, I hate him, he hates me. Hr thinks this should have been wrapped up ages ago. Maybe it would have, if not for his fuckups, my depression, my broken ankle, winter, summer, etc.

    Called a junk-my-car place. They'll give me $145 for my old Taurus, parked for 8 yrs. Will involve trip to godforsaken title agency.

    Just learned starvation affects memory. Having been 98 pounds for a yr, that's why I can't find stuff. Am up to 111, have to be careful not to stress.

    Jus modified my chair to take my freewheel, finally. It ROCKS!

    Achieved Personal Challenge: Rolled Dingo up to 7-11, a mile. Went in, told them he's a service dog. What, he is! He serves to give me a reason to live!

    Next door neighbor needs $$, offered to help me out for $10 / hr. SCORE! But she woke up w/ puking flu...sad face.

    Like I told my Dad today, 2 steps forward, 1 step back, except when that is vice-versa.

    Right now, feel up against a wall. Going to take nap. Tomorrow is another day, right?

  2. #2
    One day/One moment at a time...hang in there Betheny, Yes, tomorrow is another day...

  3. #3
    When we are down there is only one way to go: up.

    A friend once told me that. I thought "yeah right, as if you knew how it feels like".
    But it´s true, i also force myself to laugh or make a smiling face, activating those muscles can induce the brain to produce endorfins ( it might be something else ,my memory is not so good) and so my mood gets better as i go.
    Feeling good or positive is maybe half way to have things solved. Looking at the dark side just makes it seem even worse.
    I know its just words, i wish i could help.

  4. #4
    Senior Member grommet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    I hear that tomorrow will be another day, that is what the forecasts say ;-)

    You're not in a hospital bed, unable to leave, with tubes running in and out. That's usually my measure of what sucks. Then again when I'm in crazy nerve pain I lose all perspective, become religious and start pleading with god or anything out there to make it stop. It did stop. It's been a few months since it's been bad.

    Last month my girlfriend and I celebrated out one year anniversary and yesterday I met her whole family at once for lunch. Oh the stress.

    I spent years in bed. The mattress had a ten year warranty and when it wore out in three I did the math and realized, yeah 24 hours a day will do that. I saw only darkness and hoped I would end.

    I went out a little and one thing led to another. One day I got the old manual chair out and did a little exercise. So much has changed since a dark room with everyday in bed. It's small, the way things change. This doesn't compare to what you've been through - I didn't lose anyone but until last year I didn't have anyone.

    Tomorrow is another day and you only need just enough hope and humor to make it there. Then maybe there'll be another day and after enough of them you look back and it's been a few years and it's warm and you're swimming in the Greek Isles and goddamn it's hot, why did you take this crazy trip? But you do crazy things now, since things got better ;-)

    You'll be okay. Life has a way of helping you out. Easier is coming and, lot's of fun :-)

  5. #5

  6. #6
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Hampshire, England.
    Quote Originally Posted by betheny View Post
    Deep dark depression, excessive misery!
    If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
    Doom, despair and agony on me.
    Buggered if I know what to say, the trans Atlantic good vibe projector I got off ebay can't seem to find Oklahoma and I gave up on the power of prayer around the time of the moon landings!

    One thing I do know is that you're one tough lady Super Woman and somehow you'll get through this, as they say in The Royal Tank Regiment....

    "From Mud, Through Blood, to the Green Fields Beyond."

    Hang in there Beth.

  7. #7
    Fake it til you make it! EVERYONE feels this way from time to time, if they say otherwise, they are the ones too busy faking it which is ok This is your low, your high times are coming but of course these highs and lows are temporary, thus the "life is a rollercoaster". Bask in SIMPLE PLEASURES!
    "The sweet is not as sweet without the bitter"
    ~"Vanilla Sky"~

  8. #8
    You've still got your sense of humour Betheny, I'll worry when it leaves you.

    Dingo's too fat to be a service dog
    C5/6 incomplete

    "I assume you all have guns and crack....."

  9. #9
    Senior Member JimD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Long Island, NY
    Quote Originally Posted by Timaru View Post
    Buggered if I know what to say, the trans Atlantic good vibe projector I got off ebay can't seem to find Oklahoma

    'Course if you really had a trans-Atlantic good Vibrator - I'm almost sure that would make her feel better! Hang in there, Beth!

  10. #10
    Is drinking excessively out of the equation?
    And the truth shall set you free.

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