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Thread: am afraid i may not be here much longer

  1. #41
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    beautiful picture lynnifer.

    I have a sister that has a way of bringing up the tragic aweful past. she hates my physical challenges. Thankfully she is making efforts not to be so mean and bitter.
    I make efforts to forget she was mean and hateful and try to put away my resentment. It is possible when we both try.

    Her husband died, and left her a young widow. I can only imagine her suffering. life is short, and time lost is lost for good so we try.

    I did not take cass's title to indicate suicide. I was worried about the breathing issues, and lack of good food intake.
    I think a roommate might not be a bad idea. Im no living alone, but my kids are grown and in another state. i have not made friends with anyone since moving to south carolina. .....well theres rhett, silly as he is. The place being quiet and deserted sometimes makes it hard to be motivated to do anything. Isolation from people can be just lonesome. I like my own company, and can usually find things to do, but sometimes the days just start to run together, and I get tired of myself and trying not to be lonely.

  2. #42
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    (Thanks .. it's my 'twilight-contacts and vamp teeth' photo for 'SHOCKTOBER.' That was from 2009 ... my face is a lot fatter now and my hair more gray, dammit! lol)
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #43
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    oh, I didnt notice the contacts. cool.

  4. #44
    Lynnifer I have day leave. I still have about 3-4 weeks in hospital. Have to back to go back hospital in a while been there for a month or so. 3 weeks to go. I lost the complete function of my right side to a stroke. scar showed up in the first mri 8years ago the second one showed up no further damage. so they think that the sudden weakness loss of bowel and bladder are residues of the old scar. see ya on the dark side. i just crapped my pants. 3 sets of anti constiption meds and no bowel control.....

  5. #45
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Without even thinking of the proper choice of words, my immediate thought response was, "Oh crap." lol .. but it's not funny.

    I wish it was better for you Dowdy! You have known me since I was 22ish when I worked at a hospital and spent my midnight shifts online! We're in this together. We are all connected by rope and if one falls, we all fall; so don't let go.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #46
    Just got home from hospital got the key in the door and pissed my pants.

  7. #47
    today hopefully will not be as bad as yesterrday, I at least made it inside home this time, 3 sets of laxatives worked yesterday at about 1 pm shitted myself so went on working reggardless. its either constipation and enemas,
    or laxitives and shitty days or my prefered method not drinnking much. Fluid intake isonly what I drink to wash down the tablets.

  8. #48
    Hang tough, Cass!! You need distractions! Movies? Books? A pet? Meditation??? I'm injured 25 yrs now too and really feel it in my back and neck. Keeping my mind busy really helps! And a nice glass of wine at the end of the day
    "The sweet is not as sweet without the bitter"
    ~"Vanilla Sky"~

  9. #49
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    Cass, what you are going through is I know incomprehensible to me, so all I can offer is the hope that the legions here aching for your pain and so wishing we could ease it will tip the universe a little toward some compassion for you.

  10. #50
    lynnifer I remember those days with fondness.

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