Quote Originally Posted by avictoria View Post
cass, do you think your pain issues could be helped so that you can eat and enjoy the little things in life more? It's awfully hard to live for years as a super achiever then get sidelined from work, and really hard to deal with losing your family. The past few years I've lost almost everyone...I won't even answer the phone late at night now.

One feels totally alone...nobody I know, at my age, has lost both parents, a sibling, and almost everbody else, much less dealt with SCI, divorce, etc. My life story sounds like a bad country and western song....even includes the train and 'other woman'.

if you really feel that your health is declining to the point you're in the last inning of the game, you deserve the best quality of life you can get. Patients with chronic back pain are rx'd huge amounts of narcotic pain meds (this may offend some). Frankly I don't understand why SCI patients that have given it their 'all', and in failing health, shouldn't be allowed to be medicated to the point of being pain-free and anxiety-free so they can enjoy pottering around in a garden, or growing orchids inside, or baking, or reading or writing romance novels, get a kitten or a goofy dog from the animal shelter, or writing a book on engineering or whatever gives you joy in life.

I hope you can talk to your son too...can he understand your worries and deal with them and be supportive?

Wherever you are on this journey from birth to death, you deserve the very best quality of life. I'm sure others on this forum have ideas about community resources that might be available. If spirituality/religion is a comfort to you, avail yourself of that. Is there a church nearby with people worthy of you? Do whatever you need to do. I'm an idiot newbie here, but from the posts it's obvious you've done a lot for a lot of people and accomplished a lot in life.

Wishing you peace and comfort
i lost my brother a year and half after i was paralyzed at red light, my first plane trip post was to pick coffin, clothes, make funeral arrangements, etc. i almost lost it. he was 35. cancer. then mom, dad, my cousin, my best friend and more. i just am having hard time finding a reason for all this.

why am i alive and these beautiful, wonderful ppl dead? why? i'm doing nothing to help our world. they were. WHY?