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Thread: am afraid i may not be here much longer

  1. #1

    am afraid i may not be here much longer

    can't eat, am in so much pain, kid gone, job gone, am alone. i really don't know what to do any more.

    can't volunteer (if i could do that, i'd still be working). this sucks.

  2. #2
    As a Quad with lots of problems,living on my own ,I really take offense to the way you started your post...I am 48,Quad for 22. In the last 2 months I have 2 able body friend,with children shoot themselves DEAD. 29 and 32. I have NO respect at all for suicide,it is a wimps way out,it hurts the ones you leave behind !!!!!!!

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by tdirt View Post
    As a Quad with lots of problems,living on my own ,I really take offense to the way you started your post...I am 48,Quad for 22. In the last 2 months I have 2 able body friend,with children shoot themselves DEAD. 29 and 32. I have NO respect at all for suicide,it is a wimps way out,it hurts the ones you leave behind !!!!!!!
    am not talking suicide. am talking reality. my body breaking down. am quad 25 yrs, worked as engineer most of those. gave birth to kid 6 yrs post, raised him alone, diapers and all. I AM TIRED, he's 19 now and i take offense at your post.

    my son had mate shoot himself, my mom, dad, bro, cousin, bf more dead.

    i was commenting on my health.

    btw, am quad on my own for yrs. it sucks. and yes, i am afraid. i have never been in this position in all my quad yrs. GEESH THX FOR UNDERSTANDING.
    Last edited by cass; 10-01-2011 at 02:55 AM.

  4. #4
    try and hang in there cass you gave ben very involved in this community for a long time. i understand your going through extreme emotional trauma and increasing pain, so i take no offense at you post, nor do i think someone who has been here since 2008 with few posts should pass judgement on you who has been here since 2001 he obviously has no idea about pain, i always tell these people to take a hacksaw to their toes and start sawing them of , and when done i have plenty of other torturous ways to mimic our everday pain. i am lucky i have meds that control and manage it, many do not have the insurance , and eeven if they did, it wouldnt pay for the strong painkillers, over 4k a month for just one. hang tight , need to find you some help,not hindrance
    cauda equina

  5. #5
    Cass,

    You know you're my amiga, but I truly don't understand how you can express such sorrow and pain living this way, but not support our choice to end it (you seem offended by the notion of it as well). Can you help me understand how you combine these two notions within yourself?

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by tdirt View Post
    As a Quad with lots of problems,living on my own ,I really take offense to the way you started your post...I am 48,Quad for 22. In the last 2 months I have 2 able body friend,with children shoot themselves DEAD. 29 and 32. I have NO respect at all for suicide,it is a wimps way out,it hurts the ones you leave behind !!!!!!!
    I didn't read suicide in Cass' post at all. If anything, Cass rails against it if you've read more of her posts.

    I will go on record as fully supporting suicide. Fuck those it leaves behind. You know the people it leaves behind? The people who will be living it up within weeks and fucking, drinking, eating, and living life to the fullest.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Le Type Fran├žais View Post
    Cass,

    You know you're my amiga, but I truly don't understand how you can express such sorrow and pain living this way, but not support our choice to end it (you seem offended by the notion of it as well). Can you help me understand how you combine these two notions within yourself?
    because then ppl will think we should just die rather than believe there is help.

    i posted op cause i am truly afraid my health is failing. that's all. nothing to do w/suicide. i'd never do that to my son.

  8. #8
    Hi Cass,

    I am in the same boat as far as feeling like my body is just giving out on me. Yes I am a para but I also have multiple other chronic health conditions. I just wanted to let you know that I understand and feel your pain, sorrow, fear, agony, or any other emotion that could possibly run through your head throughout a given day. I know that I go through multiple even sometimes within hours. Thinking and praying for you!!!!

    Becky
    T8-9 according to latest scoring.......
    since 1/3/04

    I am the best at being me. No matter how that happens to be!!

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by cass View Post
    because then ppl will think we should just die rather than believe there is help.
    I think the exact opposite. I think people would feel it's sad we didn't have more to offer the person.

    Quote Originally Posted by cass View Post
    i posted op cause i am truly afraid my health is failing. that's all. nothing to do w/suicide. i'd never do that to my son.
    Oh, I know, I'm only asking because it was brought up.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    Cass, I don't do sympathy very well. But I do feel for you and respect how hard you have struggled to get to this point. I wish there was some ray of sunshine I could shine on you, I can think of no one more deserving of light and warmth. Finding that bright spot in the otherwise dark room, that single beam of warmth and comfort, is a personal challenge we all face. Your place of peace and light does exist. The trick is wanting it enough to find it and to summon the strength to get there.

    FWIW, I love you.
    Foolish

    "We have met the enemy and he is us."-POGO.

    "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it."~Edgar Allan Poe

    "Dream big, you might never wake up!"- Snoop Dogg

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