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Thread: A sad and disturbing story of bullying ending in suicide.

  1. #11
    Member RandySCIC5's Avatar
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    Dearest God, I was a victim of bulling. This stuff has gone too far! Something needs to be done about it. 11 years old, poor little boy.
    Injured October 2nd, 2009. C5 incomplete ASIA C
    C2-C3 fusion, C4, C5, C6 and C7 laminectomy.
    And after another operation on February 14th 2014, I am now C1 to T1 incomplete ASIA C, with C5 incomplete neurological function at ASIA C.
    C1 foraminotomy, C1, C2, C3 laminectomy, scar tissue removal from C3 to C7, nerve root decompression of C7 and C8 and a Cervical Re-fusion. All due to a gradually worsening genetic disorder that I have and the other collateral complications that comes along with it.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    I wouldn't go that far. That would put us backwards 50 years. I'm glad I was able to return to school with my peers after going paralyzed at age 12 ... I almost didn't get to and that would have been more hellish on top of the change I was already dealing with. My friends saved my life back then.
    Diffident situation

    I was only an AB for 2 weeks

    You had 12 years to make friends

    The schools I want would serve kids who are injured b4 5th birthday or have genetic disablities

  3. #13
    The sad thing is these bullies don't just target the disabled. I wish they could figure out a way to do away with all the bullies in school. They get away with so much. You hear it on the news all the time, and for so many different reasons. It's sad.......

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by cyfskid View Post
    ....
    The schools I want would serve kids who are injured b4 5th birthday or have genetic disablities
    Not all kids with genetic or early onset disabilities want to be segregated at school. I've worked with/mentored young girls with various disabilities and they all wanted to be a regular kid, including going to regular school, and had very interest as any other young girl, including interest in boys. They didn't have the advantage nor were given the opportunity to go to a regular school and experience all that any other kid gets to, until much later. Not having experience being a regular kid doesn't make a child (or anyone) less wanting and yearning for what never was.



    RE this story, the bully was removed from the school after the first incident reported here, what was the continuing bullying mentioned - at school, outside?Also, besides the bully getting removed from the school, were there any other actions taken to help this child, either by the school or his own parents?

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by chick View Post
    Not all kids with genetic or early onset disabilities want to be segregated at school. I've worked with/mentored young girls with various disabilities and they all wanted to be a regular kid, including going to regular school, and had very interest as any other young girl, including interest in boys. They didn't have the advantage nor were given the opportunity to go to a regular school and experience all that any other kid gets to, until much later. Not having experience being a regular kid doesn't make a child (or anyone) less wanting and yearning for what never was.
    Ok I had very diffident school days(socially) we tried to get me into special school but because the school couldn't cater to my educational needs.They refused my enrollment

  6. #16
    Senior Member canuck's Avatar
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    I was bullied a lot in elementary school but there is no way in hell I would want to go to a all disabled school. Biggest problem was that I was in elementary school in the 70's and bully/teasing was almost considered a rite of growing up.

    There were also political issues re me, teachers & learning assistant aides. Pretty much hated every minute of elementary school. That being said I have about a half dozen friends that I went to school with from kindergarten - grade 12.

    Loved High School.

  7. #17
    As someone who was born disabled, and went to an all-disabled elementary school specifically *because* I was being bullied at the 'regular' school, I still am not a proponent of sending every disabled child to an all-disabled school.

    One of the (many) reasons disabled kids often become such easy targets for schoolyard bullying, is that they are routinely seen as 'weirdos', not just by the kids they go to school with, but by the parents of those kids, and by their community at large.

    I can tell you why this is from personal experience. I belong to the first generation of disabled kids in my country who had the option of *not* going to an all-disabled school. Before that, all kids who were different got 'shipped off', as Lynnifer put it, to their own special brand of school for the disabled (there are different types for kids with severe learning disabilities, personality/character disorders, mild mental retardation, severe mental retardation, physical disabilities, chronic illness, visual impairments, auditory impairments, and autism). From their all-disabled school, they often went straight to an all-disabled group home, where they lived out the rest of their life in relative isolation from the rest of society. These facilities, like the psychiatric hospitals of yore, were often widely known as 'that place where they lock up the mad ones'.

    Is it any wonder, then, that among the people who were children in that era (the generation of my parents) many never taught their kids that people with various disabilities are valuable members of society, too? Of course it isn't. From their perspective, disabled people are worse than prison inmates: they suck up tax money to pay for the 'fancy' facilities they're kept in, and they're not even able to do much in the way of useful work (like build furniture) to recoup some of the cost, as prison inmates do.

    It's only when you expose people to the reality of what it means to live with a disability (it's an obstacle that can be, and often is, overcome) that they begin to see the wrong-headedness of this perspective: many, if not most people who were born disabled eventually find ways to contribute something valuable to their community, even if they are unable to work. But if they don't see it, people won't know that.

    So I'm all for integrating the disabled into 'regular' schools and regular clubs and regular workplaces as much as possible. I'm 26 years old. I was born well into the 'new' era, in which this integration 'doctrine' began to be preached. I'm still blazing my own trail as the first disabled scout leader in my (all-AB) scouting federation. I would like to make it a little easier for those who want to follow in my trail. But I can't do that alone. I need society at large to get used to the idea that there's nothing wrong with 'irregular' people showing up in their 'regular' world. Getting used to that begins in school (and, as it happens, in after-school activities like scouting).

    I'm not too hung up on this theory to acknowledge the fact that some people won't be served very well by a 'forced' integration into non-specialized schools. No matter how you slice it, there are kids whose needs can't be accommodated by a regular school, and there are many possible reasons for that. I just don't think 'bullying' should be one of those reaons.

    ETA: With regards to this specific story, I agree with Lynnifer. This boy had much to deal with beyond the schoolyard bullying. While I'm absolutely convinced that the experience described in the article made life much harder for him than it could have been, I also don't think it's the only reason he chose to end his life.

    Don't we have to take his family's word for it? To an extent, yes. But also, it's relatively easy to explain a tragedy like this by pointing a finger at one despicable incident. It's much harder to examine a loved one's entire life, history, and environment, and acknowledge that there were probably many contributing factors to what happened. Because if you do that, it inevitably leads to questions of 'what else could have been done' to prevent this.

    The truth, which I learned through painfully-earned personal experience, is that when someone is determined to end their life, there is often very little other people can do about that. But still, it's much better for one's peace of mind to be able to blame it all on one specific, unforseeable and unprovoked attack, than to see a child's (or anyone's) suicide for what it truly is: a tragic end to a difficult journey, which might or might not have been easier (and ended differently) if not for the many challenges it presented to the person making it.
    Last edited by Saranoya; 09-30-2011 at 04:01 AM. Reason: was slightly off-topic before the addition of the last three paragraphs

  8. #18
    Senior Member canuck's Avatar
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    I think it's extremely important for disabled kids to have as much social interaction with their a/b peers as possible because if you only associate with disabled people it will really skew ones outlook on life.

  9. #19
    I once knew a Cub Scout named Michael. He, at age 8, gradually became disabled, then died of neuroblastoma. He went to school when he could, the Cubs would have pounded anyone who bullied him. OMG he was special.

    In my mind's eye, I still see Michael in a pillow-padded red wagon, w/ the Cubs pulling him around the park and his bald, skinny, ecstatic laughter. I just asked Jake, he says he has no idea what he'd have done had Michael been bullied, b/c everybody liked Michael.

    I like to think he'd have thrown down on Michael's behalf...so I do.

    I can still see those kids, one by one, laying a daisy on Michael's casket...

    COL. Crying out loud here. Tears and snot included. That kid was fearless and so were his parents. His Dad carrying him to the bathroom at a Rocket's game, b/c they wouldn't let the Cubs sit w/ Michael in the wheelchair section...

    It would have been criminal to deny Michael those kids, and likewise, to deny those kids of Michael. Only God could do that. Ultimately, he did.

    Sheesh, some wounds never heal. I often think of his family, and how they are doing now. He had a younger brother.

    Jake is looking at me in astonishment. My antidepressants are working well, but nothing will ever justify the cruel end that befell Michael C. What the FUCK, God?

    Love Lynnifer's story, and her hero too. Like a white knight, I imagine him w/ a British accent-altho it was no doubt Canadian. What a way to defend the undefended, in an ignorant society.

    Canuck, you loved high school? If Goth's had been invented in the 70's, I'd have been Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. Except for the makeover and the dating Emilio Esteves. I wore my outcast miserable depression like a badge of honor. I missed 90 days my sophomore year! (Forged Mom's signature.) I have a recurring dream, had it just last week, that they recounted my credits and made me go back to high school. Aaarrrggghhhh, that's not a dream, it's a nightmare!
    Last edited by betheny; 09-30-2011 at 11:10 AM.

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