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Thread: Are you a different person post SCI

  1. #1

    Are you a different person post SCI

    It's been over a year since i was injured and still have not come to terms living in a chair, trying times can bring out the best in people but they certainly can bring out the worse. i used to love life. nothing seems to go right anymore not being able to walk no bowel, bladder, sexual function added with a multitude of other health problems has made me bitter, angry and negative. i sincerely doubt that God exists. i envy people who are in a chair and are sincerely happy
    at least for 44 years i was.
    Last edited by peterf; 09-29-2011 at 12:56 AM. Reason: grammer mistake

  2. #2
    Sorry you are feeling the way that you are, peterf.

    I'm pushing 40 years with a disability. It is my normal. I have always thought that the change as an adult must be very difficult.

    All I can say is that you are peterf version 2. Life can still be good...
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  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    yes...

  4. #4
    i was happy for 50 years , now life aint worth living

  5. #5
    Of course, I am.

  6. #6
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Count me in the bitter, angry and negative line!

    I thought I was happy for a long time but I was too young to know any better.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  7. #7
    Senior Member RJP's Avatar
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    Same

    You can also add me on the pissed off, angry God doesnt exist. Hade a great like before all the toys loving wife and great kids. had a great job as a cop and side business for exta money. All that was taken away but I changed and was able to keep the loving wife and stil have my great kids. I live for them now. Give yourself some more time I am 4 years with this sci crap. Keep your head up is all I can really say. Good Luck
    What ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    I can understand how you feel peter and at times i've felt the same but then relised how lucky i am when i see/hear of people that are far worse.

  9. #9
    when i was first injured i did not comprehend the extent of my injury, hospital was like a nutshell, although i was quite unhappy there too. It's when i got home that i took a bad turn mentally. i was never a secure person even prior SCI. thoughts like will my wife leave me, can she cope with a crippled husband, will i be able to continue working. can i get worse, life was/is hard adapting to this lifestyle. the constant asking people to do simple things for me hit me hard. i can take the pain, bowel and bladder management although depressing i can cope, sexual function i miss but could live without, but not being able to stand up, get access or walk got to me badly.
    All my life i worked in the construction industry, hard work gave a free workout, i loved marathon running 10k day in day out. in a split second everything changed. I know people mean well when they say we'll pray for you or maybe a cure will be found but praying and hoping never got me anywhere. it's all about coping now, i feel isolated and fear that i'll age lonely. the computer ain't really my thing but options are limited . Exposing my intimate frustrations to virtual people makes me feel bad but i just want to explode at times. Knowing that someone maybe worse off than me does not give me gratitude infact i get more depressed, i know what they must be going through. i don't know if opening up this thread was a good idea i ve become an expert in spreading negativity and anger. even in the virtual world i can piss people off.

  10. #10
    All that I am is all gone,

    what I have become I have yet to find
    Kindly,

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

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