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Thread: What would you do in this situation

  1. #1
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    What would you do in this situation

    There is a couple from my church that is having a surprise birthday party for her mother tomorrow. I am closest to this family than I am anyone else in my church and it's a fairly large church. The woman gave out some invitations but didn't give me one. I figured she may not have made many and only handed them to certain people. I also left right after church Sunday so I don't know if she would have invited me or not.

    Tonight I found out that my friend's sister and her sister's boyfriend and his family was invited. But her boyfriend is somehow related to this family. Now I'm wondering if the woman may only be inviting family members and that may be why I didn't get an invitation. Well my friend said something about going since her sister and sister's boyfriend are going. My friend wasn't officially invited either, but thought it'd be fine since they were invited. I really want to go to and plan on it if my friend is going.

    But does this sound like it'd be okay to go if we weren't officially given an invitation? I don't want to intrude if this is indeed a family event, but now that I think about it there are a couple other people that were invited that aren't family. But it bothers me because they may not have invited me intentionally. There is a long story behind it but there was a situation between me and a male family member of this family. I had a huge crush on him for quite awhile, but that was over a year ago and I can honestly say I don't have any feelings for him and I don't see that as being a reason to not get invited.

    I had thought about asking my friend to call the woman in the morning to see if it's okay for us to come or if it's just a family event. That way if they don't want us to come then they'd have an easy out by saying it is just for family.

  2. #2
    That's a really awkward situation.

    I wouldn't try to crash the party unless I was really close friends to the couple that was hosting; if I were really that close to them, I'd feel comfortable picking up the phone and talking to them directly and not have to go through an intermediary friend.

    So the bottom line? I wouldn't do it.

    People have a ton of reasons why they have to limit their guest lists and no good will come from speculating.
    Daniel

  3. #3
    I agree with Dan
    It's not worth going and being awkward if they intentionally didn't invite you. I don't know about you but I don't like to be where I'm not wanted.

  4. #4
    Or you can just be direct and ASK em? Might end the heresay and have you out there partying with friends and realize it was all a misunderstanding since you did leave early...

  5. #5
    Like Dan and diaspora, I wouldn't go without a personal and genuine invitation - assumptions can make for problems, especially when there have been difficulties in the past.

  6. #6
    You didn't get an invitation by hand, mail or phone call. You were not invited.
    If it was an oversight you'll receive an apology afterward.
    Get involved in politics as if your life depended on it, because it does. -- Justin Dart

    I shall not tolerate ignorance or hate speech on this site.

  7. #7
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    I wouldn't go either. If you're intent on this, you could always drop something off way early before the party (gift) and feel out the situation.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  8. #8
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    You're right just showing up would be awkward, but now I feel bad for not joining in on the celebration for the mother. She's turning 88 today. I'm going to ask my friend what we should do. The reason I thought it would be better for her to call is because she has known this couple almost her whole life. If I don't go to it, I will point blank ask the woman at church on Sunday if her mom was surprised about the party then see if she has a coverup on why I wasn't invited. Their whole family means a lot to me, but I guess I don't mean as much back to them.

    You're right she could have called or left a message on facebook if she wanted to invite me. I saw her do that for a couple other people. So I was intentally uninvited to this. I am a bit hurt by this and will most likely began to distance myself from them.

  9. #9
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    I'm calling to ask if it's okay to come or if it's just for family.

  10. #10
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    I'm going because it's not just family.

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