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Thread: Does my son have a valid point?

  1. #1

    Does my son have a valid point?

    Occasionally my teenage son will help me with juicing or get something off a high cabinet shelf however he says when his walking father asks him to get something that he knows he can do himself he feels like he has 2 disabled parents. I told my husband and he sees nothing wrong with it because he takes him places and picks him up. Yet I agree with my son but hubby gets upset when we point it out to him so occasionally my son pretends not to hear him and he'll do it himself or I'll do it. Is my son right that his dad is being lazy or do all parents make their kids get them water? I'm at loss here yet I have tried to understand both sides.

  2. #2
    Senior Member djrolling's Avatar
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    I did what my parents told me to do both are able bodied so there was no comparison. I have no insight into the matter but sometimes kids try and pit the parents against each other and some will do anything to get out of a little work.

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    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    My son has a dis stepfather and an ab mother (me). He does what I tell him to do, which includes getting me water if I ask him to! Sounds like your son is being a typical teenager. I would tell him to do what he's told and that you are uninterested in what he feels about the matter!

  4. #4
    so his feelings shouldn't be considered or taken under advisement? As teenagers become adults won't that allow him to see himself as valued if we pay attention to how feels or what he thinks is valid now?

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    Senior Member willingtocope's Avatar
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    If your husband is lying on the couch, and he tells your son to get up out of his chair and go get him a beer...that's inconsiderate and out of bounds as far as I'm concerned. Would he do that to you if you were able?

    On the other hand, if your son is walking by the fridge, and his dad says "hey, son of mine, bring me a beer please", that's acceptable.

  6. #6
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fynalefree View Post
    so his feelings shouldn't be considered or taken under advisement? As teenagers become adults won't that allow him to see himself as valued if we pay attention to how feels or what he thinks is valid now?
    When it comes to telling him to go get him something to drink? No. When it comes to important things, absolutely you should consider his feelings.

  7. #7
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by willingtocope View Post
    If your husband is lying on the couch, and he tells your son to get up out of his chair and go get him a beer...that's inconsiderate and out of bounds as far as I'm concerned. Would he do that to you if you were able?

    On the other hand, if your son is walking by the fridge, and his dad says "hey, son of mine, bring me a beer please", that's acceptable.
    I have my kiddo bring me stuff all the time because I don't want to get up. I must have a higher tolerance for making my kid work for his keep. I get out of my chair every day to pay the mortgage!

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by zillazangel View Post
    I have my kiddo bring me stuff all the time because I don't want to get up. I must have a higher tolerance for making my kid work for his keep. I get out of my chair every day to pay the mortgage!
    These are the kinds of responses that worked at 10 through 13 at 15 telling him because dad pays the bills has lost some of its luster I guess.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by willingtocope View Post
    If your husband is lying on the couch, and he tells your son to get up out of his chair and go get him a beer...that's inconsiderate and out of bounds as far as I'm concerned. Would he do that to you if you were able?

    On the other hand, if your son is walking by the fridge, and his dad says "hey, son of mine, bring me a beer please", that's acceptable.
    Well his dad was in his office and just left the kitchen and then yelled for water; my son wonders what's so hard about going back to get it himself. he doesn't mind helping or doing chores but feels like his dad is being lazy at times which I do tell him he's tired or to help him of which he replies dad's not disabled; I'm just starting to feel conflicted seems they are both correct about different points.

  10. #10
    Senior Member anban's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zillazangel View Post
    When it comes to telling him to go get him something to drink? No. When it comes to important things, absolutely you should consider his feelings.
    Agreed.

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