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Thread: Learning to Self Cath

  1. #11
    LOL, I was wondering who she was going to get it on with if she lives in a clamshell forever. I kind of get the drift both ways re the IUD. Cuz needs to let the girl grow up, granted, and that includes contraception. However, if she's rebellious, spoiled, 18...Those girls sure get pregnant a lot. I always thought if I'd had a daughter I'd have given her the monthly birth control shot while she slept. Or put a pill in her orange juice.

    But my mom believed there should be birth control in the public drinking water, and ppl should have to pass a test before they had babies. LOL, we may have been a bit neurotic on the teen pregnancy question. Mom offered me BC pills when I was 14. Ah, the 70's.

    Cuz-REFUSE to bathe her or dress her. The corset is a good suggestion.

    Hell, refuse to cath her and tell her the option is a foley, and a bag of pee. You have to go to work!

  2. #12
    Me again. When you say your aunt lets her do whatever she wants, what is that? Because when I was 18, I did what I wanted, and that included a lot of chasing boys, drinking beer, working to buy beer, driving around, certainly not sitting in my mom's house waiting to be cathed. At her level she is capable of all those things.

    It's kinda weird that your whole family is trained to cath her, wtf, I would not have wanted my brothers literally up in my business. Or my cousins either.

  3. #13
    Senior Member feisty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForMyCousin View Post
    This isn't exactly the way I meant it. I'm not forcing her to do anything. I stated that I would talk to her about the IUD before the upcoming appointment. She wants to start taking BC pills again in order to regulate her own periods because she is upset by having her period so frequently. I don't like seeing her upset by something that I see as a fixable issue. Since she was strongly advised against the pills, I was hoping and IUD would solve the problem. Which means one less thing I have to deal with at this moment as far as day-to-day care and her feelings. We have lots of other things to work on right now, so I felt that it would be easier to manage the things that were manageable.
    Why not manage your expectations. She's an adult. Let her ask her obgyn without your influence, if you're really a healthcare professional, you should know that there are easy places to search and see the side effects. Also, again, there's a search function on this site. Many members have experienced problems with birth controll after reduced circulation.

    Maybe if she's upset about something she'll get off her ass and do something about it. Isn't that your beef, that she doesn't do anything?

    If you're worried about having to help her deal with that nonsense, either do it, or don't. like... the invasiveness of having to have someone help you cath and stuff is probably humiliatiang enough and she's gotta deal with that, get over it, and learn to deal with it herself without you codependently picking out her birth control.
    An administrator made me remove my signature.

  4. #14
    I guess I'm not reading your posts as pushy. It seems as if you care for your cousin, can see the possibilities for her future and are frustrated by her lack of initiative. I'm sure that this is the sentiment of a lot of caregivers. I would also encourage the family not to make things easy for her. If no one will cath her, she will have to do it herself, icky or not. There are many things about the SCI condition that are unpleasant. However, getting past that will generate greater independence. I suspect, also, that she has given up somewhat. If she doesn't feel there is anything for her to enjoy, it may not seem worth it to improve. I wish she'd come out to this site, herself, to see what people with SCI can do...get good educations, jobs, marry, raise families, travel. Has she had any good examples of folks with SCI who have succeeded?

  5. #15
    Moderator jody's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by betheny View Post
    Me again. When you say your aunt lets her do whatever she wants, what is that? Because when I was 18, I did what I wanted, and that included a lot of chasing boys, drinking beer, working to buy beer, driving around, certainly not sitting in my mom's house waiting to be cathed. At her level she is capable of all those things.

    It's kinda weird that your whole family is trained to cath her, wtf, I would not have wanted my brothers literally up in my business. Or my cousins either.
    I commented about way too many people seeing her hoohoo, but erased it. I agree totally with wtf.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForMyCousin View Post
    I have a big family. Most of them live 10 hours away, and several came to visit during rehab. Very few of them didn't learn to cath her while they visited.
    Wow, that is really weird. I am surprised that the rehab would do that. Mine taught me, and no one else.

    It is really a risk as to added germs and uti's. Does she know that? (And a uti means that she needs to cath even MORE often, make sure she knows THAT too.)
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  7. #17
    Wow...is all I have to say. She needs to definitely be cathing herself. In the beginning it is frustrating. It does take practice. I will never forget how excited I was when I got it the first try from a chair....total independence!

    She is young & immature, and it has only been a couple of months. Gosh, she wasn't inpatient very long. Thank God she has you! Hopefully, she gets it together soon.
    Incomplete T-12/L-1

  8. #18
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    when i was 7 my mom would try to get me to cath myself by putting me on a pad, give me the cathing supplies then leave. i'd cry because i thought it was gross. if i peed on myself, she'd come back, see i hadnt done anything but pee all over the pad and hit me. when i was a teen, i began to cath myself so i could go out with friends and get away from my mom.

    i've met a few ppl like your cousin and the families make it worse by doing everything for them. i know you care but u gotta stop. let her hit rock bottom first. but the sad thing is, the WHOLE family needs to be on board with this. sorry that you're going through this.
    "Smells like death in a bucket of chicken!"
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  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by ForMyCousin View Post
    I'll admit that I was guilty too. I cathed her, bathed her, and did her bowel program more than once. I have a big family. Most of them live 10 hours away, and several came to visit during rehab. Very few of them didn't learn to cath her while they visited.
    Well, if they were only visiting, then it made sense they didn't learn. However, all of her family who lives in her area should have learned.


  10. #20
    How old is she? Tell her if she ever wants to be independent and drive or go places she needs to do it her self. But she is still a fressy so it all is new to her. But, She don't need to be waited on hand and foot. If she is over 16 yrs old it's time. I've been in this chair 12 yrs and I still use a mirrow and flash light at night. But it did take me 3 yrs to learn to transfer and get my bowel program right.

    Keep her on this site some.
    Mary
    I want to Rock you Gypsy soul and together we will flow into the Mystic.
    Van Morrison

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