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Thread: I'm a huge burden

  1. #21
    albeit belated....and sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted

  2. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    Somewhere in the Rocky Mountains
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    Quote Originally Posted by rybread View Post
    I called my insurance about assisted living places, my secondary insurance which is state insurance. I'll have to go check them out next week. I've lived in my own house, the guesthouse, by myself for so long it's going to be really weird to have to share space with someone all the time. Plus I have a huge entertainment center with a big-screen TV and a full stereo. Oh well, no more being spoiled for me, plus I'm on my moms really good insurance through the Mayo clinic and I'll lose that.
    You shouldn't have to live with someone unless you are planning to go into a nursing home. We have efficiency apartments here and even for myself that is all I need. It is less area to clean.

    Why not find an apartment and get caregivers through the website that I posted? Lots of people your level live independently and go to college/work.

    Again consider getting on the bus line or light rail so you can go places and do things with some friends as opposed to being dependent on someone to come pick you up and take you.



    My daughter is 23 this year and I finally kicked her out on her own...it hurt me to do it but I could not keep providing and allowing her to use me. I was not helping her. I was hurting her by letting her depend on me for everything and never take responsibility for herself.

    You can do this Ryan and you need to. You may be a quadriplegic but you can still have a life without dependence on your parents. I will say it again....YOU CAN DO THIS!
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

    My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am. ~Author Unknown

  3. #23
    Rybread I wish you my Belated BDay wishes

    Sorry I didnt respond faster for the past 3 day's my life has been very hectic , busy with appointments meetings non stop ..

    I feel bad that you are going through this rough spell . Assisted living v/s appt I possibly would give the appt idea a try first ... Then maybe you still may be able to stay on your mom's insurance . But be away from the stress ... Just a idea

    Your caregivers could see you @ a appt ... Do you know any friends who can drive you here n there ?

    Hugs
    GL

  4. #24
    Is there a way to stay in the guest house, but get more help? I understand it is your home.
    We are in a rough situation with aides right now too and I understand your frustration. It happens at the worst possible times.
    You are a nice young guy and deserve better.

  5. #25
    Ryan. Call ABIL, ask for Don Price. Do it.
    My blog: Living Life at Butt Level

    Ignite Phoenix #9 - Wheelchairs and Wisdom: Living Life at Butt Level

    "I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit."

    Dawna Markova Author of Open Mind.

  6. #26
    I still think of you having to use your birthday as an excuse to get assistance from your sister and I'd like to drown her. Sorry if that seems harsh, but Christ, I'd be more willing to try to help you and I'm sitting in a goddamn chair myself. I wish I could prevent you from having to go inside a home. What a fucked up world!


  7. #27
    Senior Member
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    Ryan,
    I am sad just reading your post, as you deserve far better than to be made to feel like a burden. I am so very sorry. I do think an apartment idea is probably the best mix of independence and freedom. I live in a very small apartment in a very big building that has at least two other people in chairs, along with a mix of elderly. It is right on the bus route, with the bus stopping in front of the building every 20 minutes all day long. The paratransit system is here multiple times per day picking people up to take to appointments or social events. It only costs $2 each way and services a big area. There is a little mom and pop grocery store across the street. It is too expensive for routine shopping, but has been handy when I have needed something on the fly, or lacked the energy/ability to go to a bigger store. People in this building get Meals on Wheels too, and the visiting nurses are in and out tending to those on their list. This way you could keep your freedom (and mega TV!) and your mom's insurance. I am sorry I missed your birthday, but am sending you belated wishes for a much, much better year.

  8. #28
    Ryan, listen to JenJen. She has a name for you and I believe plenty of experiece in your state.

  9. #29
    Well today my mom apologized saying she just didn't feel well that night. I don't know, hormones I guess, I have nights like that to. I guess we'll see what happens in the next couple of days
    C-5/6, 7-9-2000
    Scottsdale, AZ

    Make the best out of today because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Nobody knows that better than those of us that have almost died from spinal cord injury.

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by rybread View Post
    Well today my mom apologized saying she just didn't feel well that night. I don't know, hormones I guess, I have nights like that to. I guess we'll see what happens in the next couple of days
    Good. I hope things can get better for you and yours.


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