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Thread: Why men are never depressed

  1. #1

    Why men are never depressed

    I normally don't cut and paste but felt it was good to relieve some tension.


    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
    Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    One mood all the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
    You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs lo ok. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
    No wonder men are happier.

  2. #2
    Senior Member marycsm77's Avatar
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    This is funny Patrick, lol. A lot of stereotypes but a lot of truth to it as well

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    Now that is funny....and some well most of it is true LOL
    T12-L2; Burst fracture L1: Incomplete walking with AFO's and cane since 1989

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    Senior Member Foolish Old's Avatar
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    :d ..........
    Foolish

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  5. #5
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    Fixed.

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick Madsen

    WHY WOMEN ARE GREAT:
    Women Are Just Pragmatic People because we always had to be -- What do you expect from such multi-talented and complex creatures? Your last name can stay put in this time of hyphenated names or you can take your spouse's last name - it's your CHOICE. The garage is half yours if you are in a relationship or all yours if you were a strong enough woman to purchase your home on your own with your fabulous career. Wedding plans are for wedding planners while you're busy with your career. Chocolate is just another snack but better than cigarette or cigar smoke or a methane smell. You can be President. You don't have to be pregnant if you don't want to because you can hire a surrogate and have a baby with or without a man! You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park because this is 2011. You can wear NO shirt on private property in Ontario, even if your breasts are on display in your own yard cutting the grass. Car mechanics tell you the truth because you researched the problem beforehand and called around for prices and inform them of that. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky because you are a strong woman who is knowledgeable enough to lay t.p. on the seat and avoid germ transfer and deal with what you have been given. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt because you realize clockwise tightens and counter clockwise loosens because your spouse is too busy entertaining the guys to fix anything leaving it up to you. Same work and working on equal pay. Wrinkles add character but it would be okay to get botox if you wanted because of your fabulous career and because you don't depend upon anyone for your money. Wedding dress $5000, tux purchase for future special occassions or casual clothing on the beach - it doesn't matter! People will sometimes stare at your chest when you're talking to them also your bulge or ass. It's just human nature to compare, contrast and admire. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet because you were smart enough to get a wooden shoe stretcher and also you know that you get what you pay for so you bought quality!

    One mood all the time thanks to chemicals.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat because texting and email are where it's at, plus it's all documented. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase because you can buy a whole new wardrobe at your destination! You can open all your own jars with this electric jar opener or you can utilize a rubber band around the top and try and open it that way. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness among your own kind - women - because we have an automatic understanding of what men are like and what we deal with. We're not surprised if a man doesn't say thank you, it's expected. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $12.00 for a three-pack because of fat cat corporations and the old white boys' club still clinging to the idea of ripping off 'the woman'. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough anymore because you know that you need universal colours that will go with anything. You almost never have strap problems in public because bras are better built and woman are more toned these days. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes because of the steamer you own and Downy's wrinkle releaser - great invention. Everything on your face stays its original color thanks to make-up or chemical peels. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades but where is the fun in that??? Electrolysis or laser hair removal takes care of your arms and legs with minimal care any more.

    You can play with toys all your life but someone has to be responsible and pay the bills. One fabulous expensive purse and one pair of great black leather boots. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look because of the laser hair removal you had, but you would never wear socks with sandals like men do. You can 'do' your nails with a purse sized manicure kit that you keep in that large expensive and fabulous purse you own from your terrific career. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache until you seek out hormone therapy.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes but you're more considerate than that and start thinking about it late in the summer because you want the people you love to be happy.

    No wonder men are obsolete.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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  7. #7
    Good one Lynn, I do feel obsolete compared to what my wife does. Good bless the women.

  8. #8
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
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    lol - no disrespect meant Patrick! I think you're all kinds of great and can only regret that I never met someone like you in my life!
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

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    What days are you planing to mow the yard?
    c3/c4, injured 2007

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    Senior Member feisty's Avatar
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    I haven't bought chonies in a 3 pack since I was 14.
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