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Thread: Angry most of the time

  1. #11
    i have the same anger issues
    Normal reaction to being confined to the SCI life.

  2. #12
    I think a lot of people w sci also have undiagnosed PTSD. I think our injuries and the aftermath can be just as traumatic as combat. I think the thread starter could benefit from a combined course of medication for anger management concurrent w talk therapy.

  3. #13
    i'm happy megatron that you brought up this subject, i know its an issue for me too.
    i have an identical situation
    what gives? i'm sure you can relate to this
    multiple minor things that build up up and up,
    anger, explosive anger and misplaced anger is my pressure valve.
    i think you may be using your wife as a punching bag for misplaced anger
    i get angry when i see my wife suffer or ask people for help, be it at a local store to simple house jobs. i get angry at her for not being able to help her.
    Simple talk about country walks hikes, seafront jogging manly house work
    people talking about healthy sex lives when i'm dysfunctional
    All in all you just want to explode.
    The good thing is that when around friends or strangers nobody knows.

  4. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by peterf View Post
    i'm happy megatron that you brought up this subject, i know its an issue for me too.
    i have an identical situation
    what gives? i'm sure you can relate to this
    multiple minor things that build up up and up,
    anger, explosive anger and misplaced anger is my pressure valve.
    i think you may be using your wife as a punching bag for misplaced anger
    i get angry when i see my wife suffer or ask people for help, be it at a local store to simple house jobs. i get angry at her for not being able to help her.
    Simple talk about country walks hikes, seafront jogging manly house work
    people talking about healthy sex lives when i'm dysfunctional
    All in all you just want to explode.
    The good thing is that when around friends or strangers nobody knows.
    SCI is a life-altering event, in her book Death and Dying Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described the stages people go through when faced with such a thing, you can remember them by the acronym DABDA

    1. Denial - 'this isn't permanent'
    2. Anger - "fuuuuuuuck, why did this happen to me?"
    3. Bargaining - "If I emptied my retirement/sold my house maybe I could fly to India and get stem cells, if I did that would I walk again?"
    4. Depression - "I can't have sex, what is the point of anything?"
    5. Acceptance - "I am still alive, I can do this"

    These don't happen necessarily in chronological order, and how each person goes through them is unique as the person. So in other words what you are experiencing is normal, the healthy thing to do is face it and try to move to acceptance at the best pace that you can.

  5. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by t8burst View Post
    SCI is a life-altering event, in her book Death and Dying Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described the stages people go through when faced with such a thing, you can remember them by the acronym DABDA

    1. Denial - 'this isn't permanent'
    2. Anger - "fuuuuuuuck, why did this happen to me?"
    3. Bargaining - "If I emptied my retirement/sold my house maybe I could fly to India and get stem cells, if I did that would I walk again?"
    4. Depression - "I can't have sex, what is the point of anything?"
    5. Acceptance - "I am still alive, I can do this"

    These don't happen necessarily in chronological order, and how each person goes through them is unique as the person. So in other words what you are experiencing is normal, the healthy thing to do is face it and try to move to acceptance at the best pace that you can.
    Actually, the Kubler-Ross model has been discredited in many studies as a model for coping with SCI and other non-terminal life crises.

    It has been incorrectly applied to SCI by many people, but such well-known researchers as Roberta Trieschmann (Trieschmann RB, 1988, Spinal Cord Injuries: Psychological, Social, and Vocational Rehabilitation) wrote about the fallacy of its use as early at the mid-1980s. The best predictor for how someone will emotionally respond to a SCI is how they responded to previous crisis in their life.

    Unfortunately too many mental health and other clinicians use the model as a "must" stage theory, and consider it somewhat pathologic if you don't respond in this order, with these exact emotional responses. Just because someone does not engage in bargaining or denial does not mean they are not coping with the injury, nor does it mean that depression related to the diagnosis need to go untreated. Many people do not agree that "acceptance" must be the ultimate goal.

    The Kubler-Ross model is even under serious criticism now days as a model for adjustment to a terminal diagnosis.

    (KLD)
    Last edited by SCI-Nurse; 07-12-2012 at 01:17 PM.

  6. #16
    It is interesting you posted that, I got accused (maybe a harsh word) by my therapist in rehab (you had to see one) as possibly having Asperger's due to my lack of emotional response to my injury. It was total crap, I just respond well to having goals, and being newly injured I had a lot of them. I didn't really have a "wow this really sucks" moment till I had reached the point where I really didn't have any "SCI" goals and I was in a steady state.


    Quote Originally Posted by SCI-Nurse View Post
    Actually, the Kubler-Ross model has been discredited in many studies as a model for coping with SCI and other non-terminal life crises.

    It has been incorrectly applied to SCI by many people, but such well-known researchers as Roberta Trieschmann (Trieschmann RB, 1988, Spinal Cord Injuries: Psychological, Social, and Vocational Rehabilitation) wrote about the fallacy of its use as early at the mid-1980s. The best predictor for how someone will emotionally respond to a SCI is how they responded to previous crisis in their life.

    Unfortunately too many mental health and other clinicians use the model as a "must" stage theory, and consider it somewhat pathologic if you don't respond in this order, with these exact emotional responses. Just because someone does not engage in bargaining or denial does not mean they are coping with the injury, nor does it mean that depression related to the diagnosis need to go untreated. Many people do not agree that "acceptance" must be the ultimate goal.

    The Kubler-Ross model is even under serious criticism now days as a model for adjustment to a terminal diagnosis.

    (KLD)

  7. #17
    Senior Member zillazangel's Avatar
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    I'll rain on the sunshine parade of accolades here and tell you to get control of yourself. You obviously can control your anger because you do with your friends. It is utterly disgraceful that you take it out on your wife, and especially on a 9 months pregnant wife. Stress is incredibly bad for the baby. I'm glad you are getting help, but I think you also need a dose of tough love here that you're not getting in this thread. Just STOP. When you feel the anger coming on, REMOVE yourself from the situation if you can't control your mouth. Count to 100, deep breathe, do whatever you need to do, but for god's sake, do not emotionally injure the one person you should never hurt.
    Wife of Chad (C4/5 since 1988), mom of a great teenager

  8. #18
    "Megatron," the original poster, wrote this a little over a year ago. Hopefully he has gotten help and gained some perspective and control and that mother, father and baby are doing well.

    All the best,
    GJ

  9. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by gjnl View Post
    "Megatron," the original poster, wrote this a little over a year ago. Hopefully he has gotten help and gained some perspective and control and that mother, father and baby are doing well.

    All the best,
    GJ
    peterf responded yesterday saying he has similar problems, which to me makes this thread relevant. but thanks for being so helpful.

  10. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by t8burst View Post
    peterf responded yesterday saying he has similar problems, which to me makes this thread relevant. but thanks for being so helpful.
    I wasn't questioning the relevancy of the thread resurfacing nor was I trying to be "helpful." I was making a sincere comment regarding the well being of "Megatron" and his family (re: Ami's post #17).
    All the best,
    GJ
    Last edited by gjnl; 07-12-2012 at 02:23 PM.

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