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Thread: Boyfriend new C3 injury from Tornado

  1. #11
    keep in mind that he is in a very dark place right now and it has nothing to do with you. there's no way you could possibly understand.

    the best thing you can do for him is to not let him drive you away even though you will feel shut out. he probably needs you as a friend more than anything now. you can figure out your relationship later.

  2. #12
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    I'm so sorry this happened to you both. I have to say 'too early to tell yet' as well. You're both in my thoughts for recovery.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #13
    Senior Member Timaru's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Hampshire, England.
    I can't add anything in the way of advice that hasn't been covered already, but I would like to wish you both the best of luck.

  4. #14
    Wow... This is a wonderful forum! My boyfriend is at The Specialty Hospital of Washington. He is able to shrug his shoulders which is wonderful because we were originally told he had no movement below his neck. He is doing good on the vent tests and has been put on a Tracheotomy collar for as long as 4 hours. The nurse told they were going to take it slow. He used a speaking valve often at original hospital but they have used it minimally at the current hospital. The last visit I had to read his lips which I have gotten pretty good at communicating with him this way. I will continue to stay strong for him and for my kids. Although my children were in the tornado they weren't injured. I threw my body over theirs as I pushed them in the bathtub of our home. I have a lot of guilt that I couldn't get to my boyfriend in time. I was heading to our bedroom with my kids to get allergy Meds when we heard a loud sound and rumbling like a tree was falling. The bathroom was right before my bedroom and mothers instinct kicked in. I yelled for him but he was asleep in the bedroom next to us. He said he heard me yell but when he went to sit up it was too late. We only had seconds to react. He thinks that my guilt is what's keeping me by his side and I will continue to let him know that love is what keeps me by his side. This situation is so hard. His own mother has tried to make me feel guilty that I saved my kids and didn't get to her son in time. I hope things get easier.
    We both have a long road ahead of us and I appreciate everyone being here to support us. I will share this site with him when I visit him Sunday.

  5. #15
    You shouldnt have any guilt. You saved your children You did the best you could
    You should be proud of what you did

  6. #16
    Senior Member JEAPOW's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    I agree with SCI nurse you should not feel any guilt, maybe his Mom is just angry. Your natural instinct as a Mom was to shield your children and you saved there lives and you took the injury for them. You deserve a metal of honor just for that. You tried to yell for your BF, he said he heard you, but did not have enough time to react. Seriously what more could you have done?

    Don't beat yourelf up with guilt you were your children's guardian angel. You are a terrific MOM...
    JeAnNE L1Burst Fracture inc. 11/5/10

    Live Well--Laugh often

  7. #17

    I read lots of good advice above. I want to offer my encouragement and prayers too. Hopefully your BF will continue to recover, and it sounds like he should definitely get off the vent, which would be a huge blessing.

    That said, life isn't necessarily bad, even with high-level quadriplegia and a vent. I'm a C1-2 and have used a vent for the last 13.5+ years.

    I too was highly independent before being injured and was highly depressed when I initially discovered my new condition. But life will get significantly BETTER when he figures out what he can still do, and what he can recover. That's what rehab is for -- maximize the opportunity!

    That said, he'll still be figuring out additional things he can do even after rehab.

    If interested, here's a link about my story and my approach to post-SCI life:

    I need to update the above, but I think it shows life can still be good and much can still be accomplished. Fun can still be had too -- I bowled a legit 223 recently. For details, visit:


    God bless!

    Bill Miller
    Wheelchair users -- even high-level quads... WANNA BOWL?

    I'm a C1-2 with a legit 255 high bowling game.

  8. #18
    There is something known as 'survivors' guilt' that kicks in even though all logic declares that the survivor did everything possible and correctly. I don't know who could argue with a mother's instinct to pull her children from harm.

    In these early days of recovery you are likely to experience the gamut of emotions, guilt being one of them. Time will certainly help with that, but if you have access to a psychologist or therapist that an help you sort things out it might help a lot.

    Since our tornado episode, my husband and I have managed to hold strong, however, have suffered times of post-traumatic stress and have had to work through them. Everyone will had a different method of coming to terms with things.

    I continue to think about you and check back on your post. Please let us know how you and your boyfriend are doing.

  9. #19
    I spoke to my boyfriends sister last night and when she went to visit with him she said as she was putting lotion on his legs, he said "owe". She asked him what was wrong and he said that she was hurting his leg. Her rubbing his leg was hurtful to him. Could this have something to do with the nerves in his leg or could he be getting some feeling/sensation in the area. He will be sent next week for some type of testing. Not sure what. I will find out tomorrow during my visit. I am holding on to anything positive but need to also be realistic. This is new to me so any feedback is appreciated.

  10. #20
    The testing will certainly help you know for sure. I can tell you that I experienced episodes of hyper-sensitivity when some of my nerve paths were recovering. If someone were to have run a hand up and down my shin it would have sent me into orbit. It's certainly encouraging that he felt something and I hope it leads to more healing and sensation. My heart is still with you.

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