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Thread: Is verbal abuse a normal sign of caregiver burnout?

  1. #31
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Mesa, Arizona
    This Makes Me Sad. because my fiance has been helping care for me since 1999. she helps me bathe. sometimes eat. make it to the restroom. in bed. out of bed. ect ect. Not once has she ever said nasty things to me. nor has my mom. or my oldest daughter. for the most part I am alone most of the time. my injury is not as bad as your sisters. But still the stress of any injury is hard on family and loved ones. no one should ever take it out on another. I guess I am lucky because my family looks at things. like it could have been worse. They are happy I am here to share life with them. I am no saint. I would have to agree with everyone here. What your mom is doing is Abuse and should be reported before she really hurts your sister. Your Mom needs HELP. metaly emotional ect. No person should ever go through what your sister is.

  2. #32
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    So. California
    I'm so sorry for everyone involved. I was my son's primary caregiver 24/7 for the first 3 years after his injury. I also worked a full time job. The heartbreak that a parent feels is indescribable. This is not an excuse for verbally abusing a loved one! My son was abusive to me - sometimes it's the other way around. I know some parents end up divorcing after their child suffers a sci. My point is: this is a tragedy for all involved. I felt like my life was unravelling and there was nothing I could do. I no longer had any control over ANYTHING! Your mom needs to talk to someone! She is not only mourning the loss of your sister's life as she knew it, but she is also mourning the loss of her own freedom and independence. At this point in your moms life, she was probably looking forward to retirement and finally having "me" time. We have such high hopes and dreams for our children and a wheelchair is not part of that dream!

    I wish you all the best in working through these issues. It takes a really long time for a parent to wrap their head around this injury.

  3. #33
    I Read all of this from post 1 to the end
    It saddens me
    SCI injuries do stress all parties
    everyone seems to pay the ultimate price but In my opinion No one deserves Verbal Abuse

    My Example > Maybe this is one of the reasons I do not live with my family or my Mom , anyone .
    I have my hand's full but see no objective in burdening anyone with my problems

    We all are learning from this original post just how stressful Life is for both parties

    Whatever the Sad primary objective is I hope that this all balances out so no one suffers more
    Lastly ;
    In my thoughts and on my mind my heart goes out to the suffering one
    Sincerely ;

  4. #34
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    So. California
    After re-reading my post, I feel that I need to mention that my son always apologized for his behavior. At no time did I really take it personally. As with everyone dealing with this injury, my son's frustration and sadness was overwhelming for all of us.

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