Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 36

Thread: Can a caregiver help me or am I being weak?

  1. #11
    Senior Member rdf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Someplace between Nowhere and Goodbye
    Posts
    12,961
    It sounds like you're suffering from the blues. Not bathing for months seems a manifestation of depression. I bathe every day. I'm T4/5 complete para. I know you might have weaknesses where I have strength, but to start feeling better about yourself, you should start bathing regularly. Even if it's just using a basin and a washcloth.

    If your hair is too long to wash, maybe try a shorter style?

    I wish you the best of luck turning things around, BlueRing. I know being and feeling clean goes a long way towards changing one's attitude for the better.
    Please donate a dollar a day at http://justadollarplease.org.
    Copy and paste this message to the bottom of your signature.

    Thanks!

  2. #12
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    19,320
    Quote Originally Posted by rdf View Post
    I know being and feeling clean goes a long way towards changing one's attitude for the better.
    I have to agree on this.

    My father started this saying in our family as we only had one bathroom for six: "I'm cleaner as you!" You would say it immediately upon exiting that small bathroom with towel in hand.

    I once told my ex about that and he took over in that tradition and would parade around naked telling me all about how he was cleaner than me, lol. Idiot.

    Said from someone who just took a shower, so I'm "cleaner as you!"
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  3. #13
    I would agree that I've been a bit down. It's been very lonely up here. An apt that's hard to let people in to, hard to get out of and hard to get around IN. haha yeah I have no doubt I'm a bit down.

    I hope moving soon will help. Maybe then I wont be so alone all the time. I'd like to leave the house more and see people- even having people over would be awesome!

  4. #14
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    east o the southern warren
    Posts
    8,530
    as a former care attendant and house keeper, I can pretty much guarantee you wont find anyone to clean up your in your own words gross apartment.

    motivation can be difficult if you dont know where to start. I understand fatigue, and especially fatigue after bathing. my home is respectable because I dont have the energy to let it get gross anymore because its just too hard to get looking clean again.

    move to a more accessible apartment.
    as you pack, and you can take months to do that if you want, get rid of shit that is just making either more work, or you can live without. working toward a more accessible apartment can really change how you feel, because getting outside in the sun for a half hour or so a day can get rid of depression, and give you energy. just reading a book in the yard, or sitting on the porch folding laundry, (that's getting your sunshine and getting that pile of laundry whittled away at).

    start with one thing that you can finish in less than a half hour. do one thing a day if you have to, just nothing is going to change at all if you dont start somewhere.

    can you hire someone to help you bathe? I doubt you would get approved a state paid care giver, and most folks cant afford to pay out of pocket. I know I cant, but if it came down to bathing, and dressing problems, and preparing meals, you can get help for that. I find it painful to lift my arms to my head due to bad shoulders and muscle weakness, do you have a hand held shower head, as well as a shower chair? also their are some great shower chairs that are easy to transfer from.

  5. #15
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    east o the southern warren
    Posts
    8,530
    to use the shower bench above, you just need to be able to lift your legs into the tub, and slide on over. there are all kinds of grab bars out there too. they can ship to your door also.
    I wash my hair one handed, and balance with the left hand on the tiles, since my left is hard to keep on my head for very long without pain, and I also fear falling again.

    why is it hard to let someone in your house? and what makes it hard for you to get out? im just wondering.

  6. #16
    Quote Originally Posted by jody View Post
    as a former care attendant and house keeper, I can pretty much guarantee you wont find anyone to clean up your in your own words gross apartment.

    motivation can be difficult if you dont know where to start. I understand fatigue, and especially fatigue after bathing. my home is respectable because I dont have the energy to let it get gross anymore because its just too hard to get looking clean again.

    move to a more accessible apartment.
    as you pack, and you can take months to do that if you want, get rid of shit that is just making either more work, or you can live without. working toward a more accessible apartment can really change how you feel, because getting outside in the sun for a half hour or so a day can get rid of depression, and give you energy. just reading a book in the yard, or sitting on the porch folding laundry, (that's getting your sunshine and getting that pile of laundry whittled away at).

    start with one thing that you can finish in less than a half hour. do one thing a day if you have to, just nothing is going to change at all if you dont start somewhere.

    can you hire someone to help you bathe? I doubt you would get approved a state paid care giver, and most folks cant afford to pay out of pocket. I know I cant, but if it came down to bathing, and dressing problems, and preparing meals, you can get help for that. I find it painful to lift my arms to my head due to bad shoulders and muscle weakness, do you have a hand held shower head, as well as a shower chair? also their are some great shower chairs that are easy to transfer from.
    Thank you, Jody. I don't want anyone to clean my house- I want help to help me clean it. Hmm perhaps I don't know for sure what I would expect them to help with- I should think about this. In my head I push the vacuum and they pull it back closer to me if I can't quite get it back on my own. How, in reality, would that work? lol I'm so silly sometimes.

    We are moving in a month (or so- depends on when the other tennant moves out) to an apt on the first floor. We are getting rid of so much- and yes it is very very liberating! I got a Kindle for my birthday so I got rid of all of my books- now there is more room in the dining room. This is also creating a big mess of piles of 'to go' and 'to storage' piles- I think this also weighs on my feeling that my house is dirty. There is no food or animal waste laying around- it's just piles of things. I'm ready to fling it all out the nearest window!

    I live on the third floor and there is a door at the bottom and a door at the top (my apt) so in order to have someone come over I have to get down the stairs and back up to let them in and the same when they leave. There is no remote door-opener, it's a deadbolt. This wasn't really a problem until about a year ago. Now? It's a huge PITA.

    I love that shower chair- mine just sits in the tub. We have a clawfoot tub and I was so happy to find a chair that fit inside the tub. The downstairs apt has a clawfoot tub too but the bathroom door faces a large room instead of a hallway so I'm hoping to put on extension hinges so I can get my wheelchair into the bathroom- that'll be a big help.

    Thanks for your words- I now have a picture of me sitting outside in the shade. Outside my clean house and I'm very very excited/hopeful. It helps to have a goal to work toward.

  7. #17
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    east o the southern warren
    Posts
    8,530
    about a cleaning lady. when I workd for a lady with MS, I did vacuuming, dusting floors, tubs, toylets, trash, and recycling, and watered her plants. I came in twice a month and was paind 50.00 each time.

    later when I was the care aid, I did what was listed above, also prepared meals, took her to appointments, shopping, and helped a little with bathing and dressing if it was needed. I worked four hours a day and was paid 8.50 and hour. she now has four aids during the week, and a weekend aid, so as her needs were increasing so did her care hours, but you would need to be evaluated by physiatrist and I forget what other kind of person, and they fill out paperwork stating your needs, and abilities. eventually they tell you how many hours you are allowed to hire help.

    Its great you are moving soon. that will help a lot not having stairs.

    can you place a small ceramic heater in the bathroom to prevent you from getting too cold while bathing?

    and can you fold clothes? im not too neet about it, and it used to bother me, but I got used to it. I am terrible at putting my clean laundry away. I buy all white or black socks and throw them in a drawer, no sorting or folding there. most stuff stays folded in tubs in my closet, because once its washed dried and folded, im sick of it.

    I am fortunate to have a washer and dryer that were gifts. before that my roomie and I went to a laundramat about twice a month, for five years.

    scrub brush on a stick helps with doing the tub. that is hard for me to do. so is sweeping, an vacuuming, so I rest when I need to. once you get moved, how about a robot vaccume. id love one now that my apartmen is wall to wall carpet.

  8. #18
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    connecticut
    Posts
    8,272
    I agree with you 100% on not having your hubby be your caregiver, if at all possible. But as far as some of the housework, mine has taken over a few things that we used to share, specifically laundry and vacuuming. Oh, and cleaning the bathroom w/ the narrow door. He cleans that one, and I clean mine. My laundry is in the basement, and while I might make it DOWN there, I would never make it back up, lol. I really want laundry stuff on the main floor, but that isn't in the budget for a long time.

    I am w/ lynnifer on mopping. I chase the cat and dog hairs with a mop every couple of days (more during shedding times) and then my husband just has to do the area rug in the living room.

    As far as the kitchen goes, everything will be in a new place anyway, so put things away where you can both get at it .... leave anything high for things only hubby uses, or things that only come out if you have company around, and someone can grab it for you. (For example, my big platter is high up). I doubt he will mind if he has to bend down to get the cereal, instead of reaching up.

    I hate hate cold bathrooms too, but the hand held shower wand will make that better, the water will go where you want it. If the landlord won't go for it, you can get ones that attach to the tub spout. It will make washing your hair easier too. I had to have my hubby help me in the shower when first home, and I hated it .... it is NOT the same as showering together pre accident, that is for sure! And I really only needed help getting in and out too. As far as the cold, I had a portable heater I use sometimes to crank the heat up in there too, before I took a shower.

    If changing your hairstyle to something easier isn't an option, maybe having him just help you with your hair wouldn't be as "caregiver-y"?

    Thinking, starting from scratch in a new place, maybe you could have someone come in and clean occasionally .... do the big stuff, so you can keep up with the rest? I don't know if that would be an option financially (it isn;t for me )
    T7-8 since Feb 2005

  9. #19
    Very good ideas! I had counted the handheld shower out without trying it- I'll go buy one this week and try it out. Thank goodness for Amazon lol

    I never thought to use a mop as a vacuum. It makes sense as its much easier to move one around. It's just not how I was taught to do it so it never occurred to me. Used to get in trouble if I mopped without vacuuming first

    I have a wonderful space heater- it looks like a little stove fireplace. With flames and everything- that's going to be amazing looking in the bathroom! I'm very excited about that idea and being warm while I bathe. Once again- never occurred to me to use a space heater.

    I wonder if those Roomba vacuum cleaners do well on hardwood? Wonder how much my kitties would hate it lol I thought about buying one of those portable washers but then knowing me I'd forget to plug a hole and have a kitchen full of suds.

    I am now going over all the stuff (mainly kitchen stuff) and thinking about where to really put it. Do I actually use it or do I just *think* I do? Like pots and pans- I use baking pans often but not sauce pans because to make a good sauce I have to stand by the stove the whole time- not happening anymore. So I end up making casseroles instead. Never really thought about splitting things up- it's just never how I had done it.

    Well, today has been a huge "Ah hah!" day! Moments of clarity

  10. #20
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Windsor ON Canada
    Posts
    19,320
    The roomba and scooba are pieces of junk - I tried them.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

Similar Threads

  1. Am I weak?
    By 2timer in forum Life
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 01-30-2011, 01:18 PM
  2. One strong leg, and one weak leg
    By iskumbro in forum Care
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 01-21-2009, 09:13 AM
  3. weak arm
    By alan in forum Care
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-29-2005, 07:43 PM
  4. weak bladder
    By WhiteAngel in forum Care
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 07-18-2004, 10:24 PM
  5. So weak
    By Cris in forum Care
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-20-2003, 09:33 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •