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Thread: Life is exhausting!

  1. #21
    @Lonecoaster,

    I hear ya! I also have people patting my head, old aunties and grandma touching my cheeks! I have now made it a habit of holding their hands in the mid way and moving my head backwards, but with a smile on my face!

    This will happen! People won't change. you will just have to get used to this. Just ignore and enjoy your life!

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Life&Roll View Post
    I don't think you understood. I don't wear make up at home! I just like to buy the latest nail paints, lip colors etc. I just turned 27 and I think it is normal for a girl of my age! Just because I am on wheelchair, I should start living like a monk in a monastery?
    Nope! Of course not! It's none of their business either way.

  3. #23
    I can totally relate to what you are saying, Life&Roll. One statement I make (with a smile) to folks who make irking comments: "I can't BELIEVE you said that!" For me, it starts a conversation, and gets the person to re-think what they've said, instead of clobbering them.

  4. #24
    Senior Member alan's Avatar
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    I hate being told how well I'm doing. I'm not doing well - I can tell by reading on this site how much other quads do compared to how little I've been able to do ADLwise and lifewise. Advice from one of my past shrinks - don't read the site.
    Alan

    Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by alan View Post
    I hate being told how well I'm doing. I'm not doing well - I can tell by reading on this site how much other quads do compared to how little I've been able to do ADLwise and lifewise. Advice from one of my past shrinks - don't read the site.
    One thing that bugs me is when on TV they show a story of say someone who got paralyzed after an injury, but it was incomplete and they start getting more and more function back to the point they eventually are able to start walking with some assistance.

    Then it will be said over and over about how much courage and strength that person showed to work hard in rehab to get to the point where they can finally start taking some steps.

    I can't help but always then think, why wouldn't anyone in that position not put in effort to eventually walk again, unless that person is quite old? It sucks big time not being able to walk, if i had the chance to hopefully walk again, i wouldn't need extra courage or heart to put in the work in rehab, i'd leap at the chance. Be lined up at rehab's door every morning.

    No offense intended at all to those who get function back and i honestly wish them only the best, but IMO it takes more courage and strength to live with no hope of getting function back than it does to know with some hard work in rehab, you'll likely walk again, even if you can't ever walk normally like pre-injury.

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuder View Post
    One thing that bugs me is when on TV they show a story of say someone who got paralyzed after an injury, but it was incomplete and they start getting more and more function back to the point they eventually are able to start walking with some assistance.

    Then it will be said over and over about how much courage and strength that person showed to work hard in rehab to get to the point where they can finally start taking some steps.

    I can't help but always then think, why wouldn't anyone in that position not put in effort to eventually walk again, unless that person is quite old? It sucks big time not being able to walk, if i had the chance to hopefully walk again, i wouldn't need extra courage or heart to put in the work in rehab, i'd leap at the chance. Be lined up at rehab's door every morning.

    No offense intended at all to those who get function back and i honestly wish them only the best, but IMO it takes more courage and strength to live with no hope of getting function back than it does to know with some hard work in rehab, you'll likely walk again, even if you can't ever walk normally like pre-injury.
    I understand completely where you are coming from, theduder, but as someone who ended up in a wheelchair in part due to something that should have been fixable (and theoretically, still is), I'd like to say that I was only able to start living a mostly normal life again after I had accepted the fact that I should not expect more improvement. Before that, I felt trapped in limbo: things should've been improving but they were getting worse, and I just kept waiting for something (daily PT, multiple surgeries, ...) to stick.

    I believe my experiences were somewhat similar to what some people here have called the invomplete's dilemma. Would my results be better if I worked harder did more? It's possible. However, at some point, I decided that I couldn't live my life focusing solely on trying to fix something that might never get better. I applaud the people who can, and I do believe those people are worthy of some level of admiration.

    JMO.

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by alan View Post
    I hate being told how well I'm doing. I'm not doing well - I can tell by reading on this site how much other quads do compared to how little I've been able to do ADLwise and lifewise. Advice from one of my past shrinks - don't read the site.
    You cant feel bad about all this. Everybody is different, even if they have same type of injury or disease. I have spina bifida and know many people who live independently, work outside their homes and live a far more abled life with the same kind of spina bifida as I do.
    But that doesn't mean that I haven't done enough. It just means that I have got more problems to deal with than those people.
    Same, I think is with spinal cord injury. Every person is unique and you should embrace that

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by triumph View Post
    I can totally relate to what you are saying, Life&Roll. One statement I make (with a smile) to folks who make irking comments: "I can't BELIEVE you said that!" For me, it starts a conversation, and gets the person to re-think what they've said, instead of clobbering them.
    I try not to be rude mainly because most of the time such people are my guests. But if I am on some neutral place, I give them some kind of sarcastic answer or pass a similar comment in some other context, just to give them a taste of their own medicine.
    In my experience, intelligent people who are accomplished in their lives never say such stupid things. Its always peole with low self esteem who you have to tolerate.

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