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Thread: Life is exhausting!

  1. #1

    Life is exhausting!

    I am a spina bifida patient in my late 20s. For me life has always been about my disability, but for the last 4-5 years, this has become more prominent than ever.

    Watching people do things that I want to do but can't. Watching them getting on with their lives, careers etc., while I can't!

    The most tiring part is to keep a happy and strong face for my family and the world. I am generally a very positive person. But don't I deserve to be whine for once?

    If I say this to anyone close to me, they start giving me lecture abt being positive and what not! And all I want to say while listening to that is "Shut up! I already know this because I am the one who gave you this lecture when you were feeling down!"


    I guess being a support system for family and friends has left me with nobody to hang on to!

  2. #2
    Oh dear, I can understand your frustration. Sometimes I think that if I hear, "You're such an inspiration!" one more time, I'll lose my marbles. It is hard to maintain a positive face to everyone all the time. Find some 'safe' people that you can really confide in, perhaps members of this site or friends that you have. I know that the last thing any of us want to be remembered as is an embittered angry individual. However, that's how we feel sometimes and you just gotta say it to someone!

  3. #3
    Life we sure hear your sentiments and feel the same way many times. It's tough., esp. lifelong like you've done.

    Out of curiousity, what do you do to stay busy. Are you independent, go to school?
    If you just need to rant, we are here. If you want otherwise we are here also. There's lots of wise and compassionate people in this forum; welcome. Stay strong.

  4. #4

    Thanks

    @Patrick,

    I work from home as a writer. Keeping myself busy is not a problem as I usually have a lot of work

    But as you guys know, life is just harder than other people who are normal! It just gets tiring sometimes.

    @Truly,

    you are sooooo right about that "you are an inspiration" crap! Sometimes I feel like saying, "I don't want to be an inspiration, I just want to live my life!" The point is, people only think about the physical problems we face, but nobody bothers about the mental and emotional hardships.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    I just wait until the shit gets piled up too high, and then have a good cry and a 15 minute pity party. I am able to talk to my wife about how tough it is, because I only do it occasionally.

    No one really wants to hear about the negative parts of our lives, so it's nice to be able to come here to unload. See if you can find the "Forum to bitch and whine" (or something like that) thread.
    Don - Grad Student Emeritus
    T3 ASIA A 26 years post injury

  6. #6
    Donno,

    This is exactly how I feel. But I am feeling that things are just piling up on and on and I just am not able to get a release.

    I feel like I have been controlling my emotions for so long that I am no longer able to feel them. Its just a void. Its not like I am in depression or anything, but I just don't know how to express my emotions.

    I don't think I am making any sense here! Sorry if I am blabbering.

  7. #7
    You're making a lot of sense L, cause we go thru it also. Sounds like you need a new purpose in life or vacation. For me, I felt a lot like you are saying til I went to an elementary school and volunteered with the kids. They don't let you feel down for too long as they are just so full of it that it rubs off on me. If anyhting it got e out of my patterened life and gave it new meaning. I still get those "what the hell am I doing here" days but realize that they will pass.

    A person doesn't have to be disabled to have those feelings. Wives, husbands, in a job that they don't like unemployed etc.; we all have our challenges.

    We sure hear ya, and wish the best. Take charge, get energized. It's not easy but worth it.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Donno View Post
    I just wait until the shit gets piled up too high, and then have a good cry and a 15 minute pity party. I am able to talk to my wife about how tough it is, because I only do it occasionally.

    No one really wants to hear about the negative parts of our lives, so it's nice to be able to come here to unload. See if you can find the "Forum to bitch and whine" (or something like that) thread.
    Here is the thread to which "Donno" was referring: http://sci.rutgers.edu/forum/showthread.php?t=80733
    As a writer, you probably know the therapeutic release of writing about your feelings and either keeping a journal of these thoughts or throwing them away after you have vented. I try to use that mechanism when I feel at ropes end and find it helpful. Have you tried to find a support group? That can be helpful to talk to like disabled people.

    All the best,
    GJ

  9. #9
    Hi ya all

    gjnl Patrick good posts ^ I like it writing is my way of expression when I need to unwind

    Anyway to you all FWIW today I hope you all have a pleasant relaxing Sunday

    Best wishes to everyone ...
    Sincerely; GL

  10. #10
    Thanks guys,

    I just wanted to whine to someone and you guys are such a support. Actually the problem is, all my life I have always been around only normal people. I don't have any contact with any disabled person. Always competing with people who are obviously on advantage from the word "go". This can get exhausting!

    I don't have anyone who understands my point of view without feeling pity on me or thinking that I am resenting others or feeling jealous of them

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