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Thread: Resentment

  1. #1
    Senior Member bigtop1's Avatar
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    Resentment

    Just wondering, ......do you hold any resentment to the thing or, person who caused you to be an SCI person. I find that I have a lot of mixed emotions. One day I will be pretty pissed off, next day I will be absolving anyone of fault. Think of the whole thing very often. Am I over it or, will I ever get over it?
    I refuse to tip toe through life, only to arrive safely at death.

  2. #2
    Senior Member fishin'guy's Avatar
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    I'm kinda with you. One day not such a big deal, next day "he shoulda retired b4 this happened"

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by bigtop1 View Post
    Just wondering, ......do you hold any resentment to the thing or, person who caused you to be an SCI person. I find that I have a lot of mixed emotions. One day I will be pretty pissed off, next day I will be absolving anyone of fault. Think of the whole thing very often. Am I over it or, will I ever get over it?
    From my personal experience:
    The first few years after injury, I hated everybody and everything. After about 6 years, I started changing as I emerged from long depression. After many years, I never even think about "before" or whose fault (mine!). In answer to your question, then I'll say yes, you'll get over it and you just have to "put it on a back burner." If you don't, it'll eat you alive.

    Good luck.
    Millard
    ''Life's tough... it's even tougher if you're stupid!'' -- John Wayne


  4. #4
    I think you never get over it but you must get past it, subtle but real difference.
    Kindly,

    The Ketamine Kitty

    All the tears, all the pain, all the rage through the night (apolgies to the rewrite) RR

    Next time I die make sure I'm gone,
    don't leave 'em nothing to work on JT

    And I ain't nothin but a dream JM

  5. #5
    To some extent the difficulty is related to the cause. If someone who is DUI plows into you and causes your sci the person/situation is going to be more blameworthy than if you fell asleep at the wheel and wrecked. However, even in the most innocent of situations, "what ifs" continue to play in our head for a while. Sitting around with a lot of time to think feeds those mind games. As I became busier living life such thoughts faded away.
    You will find a guide to preserving shoulder function @
    http://www.rstce.pitt.edu/RSTCE_Reso...imb_Injury.pdf

    See my personal webpage @
    http://cccforum55.freehostia.com/

  6. #6
    I was injured by a tree falling on me during a tornado. Not anything to blame in that circumstance. However, I do play over the 'what ifs' and wonder if things would have been different if I'd taken other action. It is what it is, though and I try not to spend too much time pondering it.

  7. #7
    My husband fell from a tree while shaking it to make the apples fall. The branch he was shaking broke and he fell backwards.
    We often feel fortunate that there is no one to blame or be angry at. I think it would be a lot different if he was hit by a drunk driver or injured by incompetent doctor.
    We went back to visit the tree last spring and he said it did not bother him. It's hard to be mad at a tree.
    He is mad at himself for not using a safety harness, but doesn't dwell on it.

  8. #8
    My guardian angel was not ready for how fast I was gonna take that last lap on the track. She just couldn't fly fast enough to keep up. I don't hold it against her though, she's been pretty damn good to me in all aspects AFTER my SCI. She's doing her best to make up for taking her eye off me....


    Honestly, I feel for you guys who can actually blame someone else. SCI is tough enough without knowing that someone else screwed up and YOU are paying the price for their mistakes. And THEY are not paying the price. I would have a tough time dealing with real solid resentment like that. I have no advice, cos I have not been there.....just sympathy.

  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    I have no one to "blame" except myself, as no one forced me to dive that day. I was a 17 year old having fun, and while I may wish the outcome had been different, I have no regrets for trying to enjoy that day to the fullest.

  10. #10
    We live by the teenager who hit my husband. A few days ago he saw her speeding down the road she hit him on, followed by running two stop signs. I'd say yes, we are resentful (among other things).

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