My husband of 20 years and I are having a serious disagreement. I'm 43, and have had a muscle weakening illness since I was 15. Recently, I've been in the longest, most intense flare that I've ever experienced, and this is causing issues between my husband and myself.

When we go to the store (about once a week), my husband gets very angry about getting my wheelchair out of the car for me, even though it only takes maybe 2 minutes (I have a very small, light electric that breaks down). He says he sees it in terms of time - that it's just faster if I give him the money (separate bank accounts) and wait in the car. I say that it doesn't take that long, and that a bigger issue (my autonomy) is at stake. I spent my entire childhood sitting in the car because "taking a kid inside is too much trouble" and now that I'm an adult (and especially when it's my money we're using), I expect to be able to go along and participate in the experience. I only leave the house a few times a week, anyway. I've told him that it feels like he doesn't care about me, that it devalues me and just plain feels abusive for him to get so angry about getting out my wheelchair. This has led to several heated arguments recently. It is especially frustrating because I got the electric chair so he wouldn't have to push me around - and he promised beforehand he wouldn't have an issue with loading/unloading it.

Am I wrong? Should I be more flexible (I don't insist on coming in when we're on a very tight schedule)? This feels like it could be a marriage-ender.