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Thread: Filed for divorce after 16 years and starting over

  1. #1

    Arrow Filed for divorce after 16 years and starting over

    I didn't even want to get married (been hurt pretty bad prior). I was asked and said yes. I never had probs with the opposite sex pre or latter SCI. I just wish I didn't sell my condo at Seacliff Beach & leaving my job at UC Santa Cruz. That was a big mistake.

    Suspected and caught wife in an emotional/sexual affair. My ex denied it, said I was jealous, wanted friends, wanted space, wore tight pants/shorts (she is hot no doubt), blah blah blah. I saw them and had several emails of proof. Asked her to sit down and be honest with me. She said "she was reaching out and they were just friends". BS

    News Years morning she told me she was in love with this f--knut. And that she had feelings for me as well. Not going into details but I said he can have you and I wanted a divorce and took my ring off. It really hurt. I don't have family in CA. and had no one to talk with. It was not easy then. It is now.

    I'm moving South of Sacramento around mid - March/April 1st. If anyone in the area can recommend any good GP's, urologist in the Roseville/Auburn area please pm me (medi/medi). I know UC Davis is nearby which is a good thing.

    Things happen in life for a reason. I reconnected with a girlfriend from high school many years ago. She has my back. Actually I was trying to find her in 1995. Funny how things happen.....

    The reason why I posted this is to share my belief. Life is a journey. We're constantly being tested in life. I have never been a quitter or whiner. Doors do open and you need to move forward and keep going! I may not be happy now but I will be. We're survivor's!

    God Bless
    FreeBird aka: Bruce
    Lynarrd Skynyrd Lives

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    last house on the left
    The old "but I love you both" seems to be the standard garbage that cheating spouses spew when found out. Sorry you had to experience it, but it certainly does sound like you are making some good plans and are moving on as best you can. If you were nearby I would give you a big pat on the back because I think you deserve one.

  3. #3
    Senior Member skippy13's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    in a handbasket
    Not going into details but I said he can have you and I wanted a divorce and took my ring off. It really hurt.

    What a strong person you are. I admire you sticking to your standards and not letting her manipulate you.

    I'm sorry that you gave up your job and condo for her. I've done worse in the past and I figure I'm not the only one who has. Live and learn. Sorry for your troubles.
    Anything worth doing, is worth doing to excess

  4. #4
    Senior Member marycsm77's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Long Island, NY

    Sorry to hear of situation but it sounds like reconnecting with your old girlfriend maybe was in the cards somewhere, who knows how these things happen.

    I know this may not be popular, but I don't think just because a relationship ends that it should be seen as some sort of waste of time or it failed or anything. 15 years is a long time. Maybe that's how long it was supposed to be, to get you where you are going next. (aside from the way you were betrayed of course). Fly high freebird..

  5. #5
    Senior Member lynnifer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Windsor ON Canada
    I'm shocked ... you have a good attitude about women though so I'm sure you won't be single for long. Sorry about 16yrs ... we can never depend on anyone.
    Roses are red. Tacos are enjoyable. Don't blame immigrants, because you're unemployable.

    T-11 Flaccid Paraplegic due to TM July 1985 @ age 12

  6. #6
    Very good luck to you and am proud of you.


  7. #7

    Exclamation My closes friends are female

    I was to nice. Paid the price. I wish she would of told me months ago instead of lying and telling me New's Year Day. That hurts. Trust factor is big. I had situations to cheat but I didn't. I believed in the vows. Her loss. I'm not looking but I'll find another special friend. The guy was also married. I met the ball less sack. To me he his a coward. It takes 2 though. What comes around goes around.

    Quote Originally Posted by lynnifer View Post
    I'm shocked ... you have a good attitude about women though so I'm sure you won't be single for long. Sorry about 16yrs ... we can never depend on anyone.
    Lynarrd Skynyrd Lives

  8. #8
    Moderator jody's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    east o the southern warren
    a shot of whisky in your honor.
    to he who moved on!
    ..........sometimes you just gotta.

  9. #9
    Glad to hear you are free of that mess, FreeBird. And better things lie ahead. Drive on, and stay healthy.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Mona~on~wheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Cleburne, Texas, USA
    You didn't lose anything worth having. So you're ahead in the game!
    You have a great attitude. Keep the positive spirit!
    Tests builds character. There'll be happier days around the corner.
    Saying a prayer for you. Mona

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